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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

982 replies

JuanPotatoTwo · 15/05/2017 16:20

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water
OP posts:
Thread gallery
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WitchDancer · 15/05/2017 16:27

He's gorgeous Juan, even if he has been playing you up 😁

Chasingsquirrels · 15/05/2017 16:28

I crossed posted with you on the old thread Juan, and have just put a link to this thread on the old one.
Bertie is so cute.

DramaAlpaca · 15/05/2017 16:31

Just marking my place so I don't lose you. Will be back later.

That pup looks so comfy Smile

Original poster
JuanPotatoTwo · 15/05/2017 16:33

Hi Witch he's not mine yet thankfully! He's dd's boyfriend's dog's puppy. I love him but I don't have the energy or commitment levels at the minute to take him on!

Thanks for linking Squirrels :)

OP posts:
dahliaaa · 15/05/2017 16:44

Hi everyone I hope you don't mind me just dropping in.

And I hope his doesn't upset anyone because I still have my lovely DH with me ....

He has inoperable cancer which has spread to his lymph system and bones - and which he will not be able to fight forever. At the moment treatment is holding things back and we are very grateful for that but I still feel heartbroken at the thought of losing him.

Anyway I just wanted to say thank you to you all. I have read all the messages on the other thread and I am so very very sorry for your losses. But you have made me realise that I must not waste this time with 'why's' and 'what if's'. I need to celebrate the time we have and make the very most of it.
I hope I can be as brave and strong as you all are being x

magimedi · 15/05/2017 16:54

Logging in - so sorry to hear your news, dahliaa.

Just under 2 weeks left for me to be nice to you, Pesky Juan Grin Tennis

Chasingsquirrels · 15/05/2017 17:12

dahliaaa more than welcome here, it's not just widows, it's lovely kind people helping others.
I think you might have posted on Willowkins thread? That has evolved into a group of a few of us whose partners have cancer at various stages (and me). You'd be very welcome there as well - let me know if you want a link.

Chasingsquirrels · 15/05/2017 17:15

After mentioning about my Monday evening friend (iykwim) she called to say change of plan as she'd taken her eldest to cello and would be a bit late and did I want to go over there for supper. So I suggested a bit later and a drink in the pub, not sure if the pub is open on Mondays so I'm going over there @ 7pm and we'll pop to the pub, or have a coffee at hers, or a walk. Not sure she was thrilled so see how it is. Might be reverting to Monday after work next week!

Willow2017 · 15/05/2017 17:44

Juan
Laughing at the photos of Bertie lying on the sofa just like I was earlier 😀bet a million pounds I didn't look so cute😀

Dahliaa so sorry about your dh's illness.

squirrels enjoy your evening hope the pub's open 😉

DramaAlpaca · 15/05/2017 17:56

dahliaaa sorry to hear your DH is unwell Flowers

Chasing have a nice evening.

Got through my first post-holiday day back at work. The time flew, but I'm not sure I got much done. Off home now to see if anyone other than me fancies making dinner.

Chasingsquirrels · 15/05/2017 18:09

Hmm, I'm sitting here thinking I should make myself something to eat - as I'm the only person in the house tonight no one else is going to offer!
Having said that my friend did say come for supper, but I'm very funny with food (unfortunately), hence just suggestion a drink.
Not actually that hungry though, mhaving had a sandwich and some chocolate when I got home at 4.30.
Maybe I'll just have something when I get back.

Hope everyone has a good, or peaceful, evening.

DramaAlpaca · 15/05/2017 18:41

I'm funny with food too Chasing. When we were in Spain I had to drag DH out of a restaurant when I realised it only served fish & offal, neither of which I will eat. There were dishes made of pig cheek, pig jaw, pig trotters, every part of the pig except the squeak. Oh and a dish of bull's tail too. I just couldn't!

dahliaaa · 15/05/2017 19:10

Thank you Chasing would be good to have the link

TheWorldHasGoneToCake · 15/05/2017 20:31

Eewww Drama though I will eat fish, but not offal

DS survived the day, had a lovely assembly and proudly held up the map of Africa (his job) upside down Grin and his neck is straight and twisting all the ways it normally would, thank goodness!

Just to keep things balanced, DD had a massive sobbing, screaming tantrum over homework.

I'm not crashed out on the sofa having stuffed my face with 2 home made muffins Blush

Welcome dahliaa but I'm sorry to hear why you're here. I'm not here due to cancer/bereavement but merely because I recognised Juan from other posts and wanted to lend a bit of support.

Really hoping we will be able to update to say we've met tomorrow! Hoping the rain stays away too... been wet on and off a lot recently.

Have a good evening all of you and Squirrel I'm sure that your friend won't mind whatever you're comfortable with at the moment even if it reverts back to after school next week. Just get a packet of crisps for your return Wink

bookbook · 15/05/2017 21:24

Evening!
hello dahliaaa - I am just a support on the side here, but please lean on us - we are scaffolding in the virtual world. So sorry you are having to deal with this . Flowers
well, Juan - I'm not sure I can tbh - I've always liked to keep busy .( I think running my own business for so long , alongside another job , made me try to use what time I had sensibly, and now I just take things more sedately - I really don't run around ). I did ask DD tonight after seeing your post and she gave me the Hmm face - yes, I don't like idle hands it seems - I am officially odd Grin
Drama - coming back to work from the holidays - it always seemed to me that a week away, meant twice as much work for a week when you come back!
Not funny with food here though - we have our personal likes and dislikes, but will try almost anything. I remember in Portugal on holiday using the same restaurant for a few nights, and every time a plate of something weird appeared with a plate of bread on the table before we ordered. We never tried them, as we never ever saw anyone else eating them, and didn't know what to do with them . We finally found out there were barnacles - they looked like chicken claws.....!
Cake - lovely that DS managed so well ! And do hope you have a lovely time with Juan tomorrow
I hope you had/are having a good night Chasing . When I am not really hungry, but know I should eat, it is always cheese on toast - its my absolute comfort food.

Chasingsquirrels · 15/05/2017 23:01

☺ at DS holding the map upside down Cake, that gave me a smile.

And the support from all of you is wonderful.

We went to the pub for a couple of hours, then back to hers for a coffee and chatted with her and her husband and I've only got home 20 minutes ago! Lovely evening, lovely friends. I've just had beans on toast, wish I'd read this thread first as I fancy cheese on toast now!

I'll go and find that link...

Chasingsquirrels · 15/05/2017 23:04

link here dahliaaa. But please don't take that as a "don't post on this thread", just that it's a different type of support as well. I'm posting on both as is Selena.

TheWorldHasGoneToCake · 16/05/2017 06:30

Morning all.

Glad you had a good evening Squirrel

He's definitely back to normal 'cause he's telling me he doesn't want to go to school! Or walk during walk to school week.

bookbook · 16/05/2017 07:27

Quick pop in to say good morning, and hope everyone had a good nights rest
Have DGS here , raining all day supposedly, so thats going to be fun.....
Thoughts and Prayers x

Willow2017 · 16/05/2017 07:55

Morning
Glad you had a nice evening Squirrels. 😀

I am going back to school today. Ds2 has an open hour for parents and they have lots of activities set up for us, wish me luck I get my maths right. 😀

Raining again. Rained all last pm but was so humid was unpleasant but this am it's a bit cold.

Hope you all have a good morning.

bookbook · 16/05/2017 15:39

First time for a quick sit down.
It has rained all day, but has just nicely stopped. DH has gallantly taken DGS to the swings on his bike, while I sort out meal time and tidy the tidal wave of Lego.....:)
Hope everyone is having a good day.
Thoughts and Prayers x

dahliaaa · 16/05/2017 15:55

Thank you Chasing

magimedi · 16/05/2017 17:17

Please send that rain to me! Still sweet FA!

bookbook · 16/05/2017 18:38

Evening
sits down , and relaxes - DGS on his way home.
I will do my best magi - we are due rain nearly every day until Saturday by looks..I had to tip out the water from the drip trays of all my pricked out seedlings this morning.
Chasing -so did you have cheese on toast for lunch? :)
Have a half an hour , cup of tea, then out to a committee meeting ( different committee tonight)
Hope everyone is okay, and the meet up went well Cake and Juan

Chasingsquirrels · 16/05/2017 18:48

Rain and off here today, and the athletics competition ds1 was going to do after school has been cancelled due to anticipated bad weather.

I'd forgotten the cheese on toast - but actually sort of, we had a new staff member start yesterday so we had a load of pizzas delivered to the office at lunch time for a welcome lunch. So cheese on bread but in a different format.

Did you manage to meet up Cake & Juan?