Dh has died and the MN lifesavers are helping us to keep our heads above water

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread :). Thought I'd start this one like I ended the last one - Bertie crashed out after a busy day's mischief making.

[bookbook]

Just popping in to say goodnight, and hope everyone has a good nights rest
Tell Juan there is no need to say sorry - she has her battles to fight.
All we can do is send strength and love her way, and be here if she needs us
Cake - hope all is okay with DD .
Thoughts and Prayers xx

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Early crew popping by...

She has made an amazingly speedy recovery, wonder if it's linked to the braces/chewing funny.

The sun is out even if I didn't want to see it at 5:30 so will make the best of the day.

What is everyone else up to?

Love to Juan and yes, no apologies needed, she is allowed to take things at her own pace.

[daisychain01]

Hello everyone it was lovely to catch up on reading everyone's posts. I've been working on prepping the patio for a mini makeover. Decided to give it a bit of a face lift, including pressure washing the crazy paving for the first time since moving in. A lot more affordable than full blown rebuild, but nice compromise so I can add some splashes of colour in pots and somewhere to sit and eat.

Much love to juan and squirrels and hoping you are doing OK. And love to all fellow Aunties too x. Happy Tuesday, have a gentle calm day. We still need rain, I'm going out to do another rain dance

[Chasingsquirrels]

All these gardening snippets ☺.
No more rain needed here for a while, and the forecast is beautiful.

Hugs to Juan, do what you need to get through each day.

Yesterday it was 2 months since John died.

I had a reasonable day, work was fine, mon-night friend popped round for a chat on her way home from work, I made and ate decent food instead of snacking, but my boys were with their dad - and I was lonely.

I've been looking at meetup and other sites for local things I could get involved with, I'm just not sure I've got the energy to do so at the moment.

It's my birthday at the weekend, I'll be 45. Our family has always said "half way to 90", and I can remember saying it to John (a number of years before we got together) on his 45th. I can just see him, standing at the office water cooler, as I walked past (aged 31 and thinking 45 was old) and casually mentioned it, and his face dropped. I'm pretty sure he'd have taken reaching 90 over dying at 58.

We also say, when people moan about the aches, pains and difficulties of age "it's better that the alternative". How true.

So my friend has been asking what we should do for my birthday. At first I though nothing. But then I though well something is better than nothing, so 4 of us are going out for a meal.

I didn't do anything last year, John was a day out of hospital having had a crisis then 1st chemo, and he was pretty unwell. My youngest son brought a box of my favourite chocolates and gave them to John to give to me because he knew he wouldn't have been able to sort anything. John said he'd like to get me some diamond earrings, and said we should go shopping when he felt a bit better - we did other things when he felt a bit better and we then said about getting them for Christmas, but he again wasn't well - this time post radiotherapy. We were going to go shopping for them in the new year, instead we found out his cancer had spread. I thought about buying some myself, but it's not the same. Maybe next year.

I'm getting on with things, I'm moving through life, but I miss John so much.

[bookbook]

Morning
a very quick pop in - DGS is here eating his weetabix,
The sun is shining, and we will enjoy our day , its more important today than ever. So -we shall play, water plants, go and look at our little market and buy fruit and let DGS look at the toy stall ( as if I could stop him!) , go for a ride on his bike to the playground . First time this year to make him put a hat on and get some sunscreen on him .
Cake good to hear DD is better.
daisy - pressure washing is hard work I find -we do our paths to try and keep the moss down, its a thankless task, but they do work at sprucing things up.
Chasing - I think buying earrings is actually a good idea - but ((hugs)) at what might have been .
I hope everyone on here is okay
Love to all
Thoughts and Prayers xx

[magimedi]

J sends more love.

Chasing I am glad you are going out on your birthday - I think you'd feel v. mis if you stayed in.

I love pressure washing it's such fun & the results are great & last, unlike hoovering.

Book - down the side of the house the path gets no sun & gets very mossy & algae ridden. Before I pressure it I dilute some Jeyes Fluid in a watering can & wet the path with it & leave for half an hour or so. It kills the spores & makes the job easier & doesn't hurt plants or wildlife.

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Aw Squirrel there must be something in my eye, both at the thought of the earrings that never got bought (I think you can get them when you feel ready if that will make you feel better, but that's something only you can decide) as well as DS getting chocolates for John to give to you.

Lessons I've learnt today:

• don't trust the weather man - looks like it's going to rain now!
  
• working with fondant is bleeping hard, which is why I never do it
  
• working with fondant when it's hot is even harder
  

Will check in with you all later. Love to Juan if you talk again magi and love to all the other Aunties too. Anyone following how Selena and her DH are doing?

[Chasingsquirrels]

food on you for doing the fondant cake, mine just get lemon butter-icing on a victoria sponge.

Ditto love to Juan.

Selena and her DH were away last week, and she has since posted on another thread I also post on with a few people whose husbands have cancer.

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Thanks Squirrel It's done but hugely amateurish!

Glad they did get away...

I am going to read DD a story now and then flop!

[bookbook]

Evening
Just about to settle down and watch the Chelsea Flower show programme
magi - thanks for the tip - I use Jeyes, and have some, so will definitely do that next time .
Cake - fondant is hard work - my DD2 is a fabulous cake decorator , but it takes hours ......
Thanks for keeping us updated on Juan ( and Selena)
have a nice evening all
xx

[magimedi]

I am very grateful for the peace of the Chelsea Flower Show tonight.

What a vile day it has been - am so very sad re Manchester.

Juan is getting there (we are in email contact). She was off for her tattoo this afternoon - have not yet heard about it.

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Ah, I knew the tattoo was this week, but not what day. Hope it wasn't too painful and emotional.

magi I could just have sat and cried when I heard the news. DD had heard about it and trying to explain why someone would do that... just what do you say?

Feet up now with some M&Ms lost in the world of MN.

Hugs to all x

[SelenaValentina]

Hello and thank you cake for thinking/asking about us. As squirrels kindly said, I've posted more on 'I'm not OK' - mainly because when away my mobile didn't seem to like much else!

DH is sadly deteriorating, the leg pain (mets in pelvic bone) is agonising and Oramorph didn't seem to touch it. Think others have found similar? From last night he's on prolonged release morphine and he has been brighter, although says pain still 6 (has been 25!).

We had a lovely holiday the sun seemed to shine on us when the forecasters said it wasn't and, like Camelot, it rained at night.

Love to Juan - and everyone else too. Thank you again for thinking about us.

[bookbook]

I must admit, when the world is going mad, and even more horrors happen , I find a lot of relief in the beauty of nature , in whatever form.
Cake - have you seen this ?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_posts/2936546-Talking-to-children-about-terror-attacks
Thoughts and Prayers xx

[DramaAlpaca]

Just a quick pop in to say hello to everyone.

It's been a very difficult day, hasn't it, I've been feeling very emotional & distracted all day.

Hope Juan's tattoo experience went well.

Selena I'm really sorry to hear about your DH's pain. Hope it can be brought under control so he's more comfortable.

Much love to all x

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Thanks book I think we've done OK. She knows there are bad people around but that we carry on so they don't win, we talked about the fact that all religions are about peace and that these people aren't doing what normal people would etc

Unfortunately there was a stabbing close to their school last year (not anything to do with school bar proximity, but aftermath witnessed by some children) so they've had to deal with this sort of topic before.

DH's birthday today. Might see if I can get out for a jog or at least a walk tonight, been far too long again.

Selena I'm sorry to hear DH is struggling with the pain. Glad it's more bearable now and that you had some sun while away.

Hugs to all and hope you have a sunny day what ever you are up to x

[bookbook]

Morning
Sun lovely , off to plant stuff up at the allotment this morning. Then a shower, and after lunch go to pick DGS up from pre school and stay overnight at DD's. Being taken out for tea, so no cooking tonight .
Hope the tattoo experience went okay for Juan
Selena - sending strength and prayers to you and your DH , hope the pain can be kept under control .
Everyone have a good day
Thoughts , prayers and love to all xx

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

I've just sent the bank related email to ex. It's his 3rd wedding anniversary today...wonder if his new wife knows he still has a joint acc with his ex? Figured I may as well ruin his day as I've been stressing over it for 3 weeks now.

I'm surprised at how much I'm struggling in the heat - well the humidity I guess, as I'm used to more heat but a dry sort of heat, not this muggy! Still, cake for breakfast, a delighted DH, kisses from my kids at the school gate and the sun is out. Much to be grateful for.

Hope the allotment is doing well book and a well deserved meal out I'm sure! I'm doing posh pasta ready meals so DH can have a chilli crab thing I don't do seafood and just nursery tea for the 3 small ones.

[Willow2017]

Juan & Selena thinking about you both, hope things are very much better today.

Just a pottering day. Phoning council (again) why ask for things when they get things all wrong anyway?) washing etc. This house is like the forth road bridge, it seems I get one area tidied up and then have to start at the begining again!
Cant find the damm tv receipt will have to trawl through the filing cabinet, its not where it should be!

Hope you all have a lovely sunny day, Book dont work too hard on that allotment, wish I had half you energy at the moment.

[Chasingsquirrels]

Rolling saga with car that I haven't the energy to spout about, but I am now car less and will have to work Fri instead of tomorrow - not a problem as work are being v flexible but a bit of a pain.

I've arranged a meet up at a local NT site on the WAY forum, it's not for a month bit hopefully the weather will be nice and some people will turn up!

Ds2 made brandy snaps last night while I was taking ds1 to see my physio friend, and tidied the kitchen. Didn't quite cool them enough so he made some more this afternoon before I got home. That boy is improving!

Ds1 has "shin splints" so has to rest up which he is quite annoyed about as he'd just got involved with extra track sports after school as well as his running club - it's probably ramping it up which has caused the problems. He was hoping to compete for the school in a couple of events and now can't do anything. Hoping that rest this week and half term next week will sort it out.

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Evening all.

Have had an infuriating response - can't be arsed to go into it either Squirrel Hope you get the car sorted.

Glad you've made a move to arrange a meet. Well done to the young one and hope DS1 recovers quickly.

Willow I think being mum/slave is the most thankless task imaginable as it never shows e.g. did the hoovering and then they went to the paddling pool so bits brought back in (not to mention the extra towels to wash) etc etc I know I'll miss it one day when they're all grown up and don't need me any more...

Totally pooped! Have a hair cut booked tomorrow so looking forward to looking a bit more glam.

[bookbook]

just a quick pop in to wish everyone a good night.
Thinking of Juan
allotment is getting planted up, weeds are following close behind!
So hot and humid tonight. Tomorrow am doing not much a bit at DD's - DGS and I are going to plant up sunflowers he sowed, and then cower out of the heat .
Chasing - its upsetting not having a car available, even when you don't really need it that day...
Willow bureaucracy is always annoying.
Cake - just too irritating , but hope you had a lovely meal with DH - nicely glam tomorrow!
Thoughts and Prayers xx

[bookbook]

Morning
I do hope everyone slept well .
Just sat with a quiet cup of tea, waiting for mayhem...
Have a good day , enjoy the sunshine
Thoughts and Prayers xx

[Chasingsquirrels]

The car is only the driver door catch (inside). So it's not a biggie but they couldn't get the cable the 1st day, so I had it back, then popped round yesterday for them to fit it - all nearly fitted any wouldn't quite go and it turns out the supplier has sent the wrong part...all takes time to put the door back together so I can take it away so agreed to leave it there overnight for them to fit new cable today. Cable only costs £10 but they had to take the door apart twice now.

Anyway, it's a lovely day. I've got a load in the washing machine and the windows open and the birds are singing.

I walked with a friend last night, and from the garage to the post office and back. I haven't done any exercise in ages and I'm feeling it! Generally, but also I seem to have an issue with my left hand side hip/upper leg resulting in discomfort when I've done very much, have to get physio friend to look at that as well! Think I will have to get back into the walking though, or cycling, or both. It seems like more of an option when the weather is lovely, and now the boys are older it's fine leaving them for an hour or so. When ech left I used to walk with this friend Mon night when they were with their dad, but a baby sitter to go for a walk seemed ridiculous.

Hope everyone has a good day x

[Willow2017]

Morning all.
Lovely morning here really 'close'.
Am birding my loins as I resllybhave to tackle the lawn today it's getting ridiculous after all the rain lately. I will be emptying the bag after every pass! It actually needs ripping up and redone due to all the stuff that shouldn't be there but landlord is sure he can fix it😀

Wish me luck. If I don't come back send a search party I may be lost in the jungle 😀

Have a lovely day ladies.