Tell me there's an innocent explanation for this...

[backscratcher]

Talk me down please.

Been with dp almost 3 years. Lovely guy, good relationship, no doubts whatsoever about him. Both in our late 30s, live together, I have one child from previous relationship. We're happy.

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. Small party/family meal has been planned - details confirmed about 2 weeks ago. I discussed with dp who said he couldn't make it as he had to work overtime tomorrow and wouldn't be finished until late. Was unsure at what time exactly, but would be late. Overtime isn't uncommon in his workplace, but he doesn't tend to pick it up. We don't need the overtime money. Not well off, but not struggling - managing ok. I thought nothing of it.

Tonight he's gone upstairs for a bath and left his phone on charge in the kitchen. Phone buzzed with a message. It's an iphone where part of the message shows up on the homescreen but it's password protected and I don't know the password. Message said "6:30 suits me. XXXXXX does great french martinis!! ;-) Are you coming straight..." It was from David. I don't know a David. I don't know that he is friends with a David.
I googled the XXXXX place and it's a pub/restaurant place about a 40 minute drive away.

This was about an hour and a half ago.
He's in bed now and I'm sitting here shaking.

Please talk me down. This is innocent, right?

:-(

I know in a way it would have felt good for him to come back and cry and beg for you to forgive him or to at least try to make an excuse. However, in 6 months time when things have settled you will look back and be glad that was less drama. It might not feel like it but it's a good thing and it will help you move on quicker.
Don't forget that your little girl has you, her mum as her rock and she will learn a huge amount from how she sees you deal with this. She will learn what is acceptable and what isn't from what you allow in your life. You're teaching her to value herself so be proud.
We're all here for you xx

I've turned my phone on - no voicemails, no texts from him. His Facebook is still deactivated. He hasn't attempted to get in here tonight.
I guess that's that then.
The cowardly bastard.*

I had a feeling it would go this way and said so a few pages ago. Whether it's to scare you into back tracking or its because hes glad to have been caught us irrelevant. The fact is you are better off without him despite how awful you are feeling right now.

Has he collected his stuff op? So sorry. What an absolute twat.

Really sorry to hear that he ended up being like this. I know it's hard to handle at the moment but at least you found out before having a baby with him.
Did you speak to your sister about this? Get all the love and support you can in your life right now - you WILL be fine.

I hope it rains on his bags of stuff outside.

I just try. So sorry op. Hope you can get some rl support today.

God I've just caught up with this all. What a giant steaming piece of sweetcorny fucking shit he is.

I'm so sorry lovely backscratcher, you will get through this. I really hope 'david' didn't know about you so that you don't lost hope in men and women.

❤️

Also OP you should start a new thread (if you want to) and this ones reaching the limit.

You are well rid of a scumbag, who could cheat on you knowing how much it hurt the first time around with your ex. You know it's all about them, not you. You sound like a strong and principled woman. It will be hard to pick you and your dd up after another betrayal. You are teaching her important lessons on self worth and boundaries and she will know this kind of behaviour is never acceptable.

He's obviously a spineless coward too. I'm sorry you're going through this. Its horrible I know but it will get better and you will be well rid.

Haven't read it all but got the gist and just wanted to send strength to you. Hope today isn't too unbearable. Stay strong.

Poor you op. I know it doesnt seem like it right now but it was fate you were his phone when that message came through. what a sly bastard sorry for you op xxx

Hope you got some sleep op. Remember to eat too if you can.These are the hard yards now...
I can't believe he hasnt even tried to Get in touch with you.I really hope he doesn't try and style out his 'wronged partner-how dare you accuse me?' rubbish whenever he does show up. He should give you more credit as you clearly have your head screwed on.

What an idiot. He can't even see yet what he has lost.

I was another one hoping for an innocent explanation. 💐💐💐

I think he might have ghosted you OP.

What a cunt.

Fucking bastard

For you op

You're obviously way too good for him

Don't consider having him back. Move on. He will do this to you again and again and again if you let him. You deserve more

He really is a cowardly bastard.

An innocent/decent person wrongly accused of cheating would rush to reassure you and sort out the misunderstanding.

I am so sorry backscratcher, he is a first class bastard, you were always too good for him! Can you call your parents to come over to yours? I would want my Dad there, to deal with the snivelling cheat when he turns up later. That way your Dad can take the keys and you don't have to speak to the lying toad.

What a cunt but you've dodged a bullet there 💐

Nothing to say really apart from I am Thinking of you OP and he's a massive cunt.

Hugs

I know it won't mean anything at the moment OP, but you will come out the other side of this.

Take all the time you need, gather as much support as you can, grieve as you need to.

Look after yourself. X

Oh backscratcher - what a total tosser! So sorry this is happening to you

I think at this point, in his head, he's still running with the drink with the lads/no point coming home excuse so will most likely be back today trying to continue to convince you that's what went on. Only he will be met with his stuff outside and one very strong lady and realised everything has fallen down around him.

Stay strong, lovely.

Oh no, what a complete and utter wank stain.
Is there anyone you can call, to come over and be with you?