Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

I cross posted with you Juan. Córdoba is beautiful, the old town especially with its winding narrow streets. It's especially fun when you get lost in the car, which we managed to do twice because the sat nav doesn't work there. It was lashing rain there today, which is funny because it was dry & sunny at home.

Oh, I also stumbled upon a del Potro square, which made me think of you and magi

Oh I crossed with you magi and somerville, sorry. Magi didn't you have quite a lot of building work done just last year? How far a move is it into town?

Somerville I'm doing the "what would Mark think/want/do?" thing all the time. Some days it's genuinely the only thing that's motivated me to get out of bed, knowing that he would never allow himself to be beaten :( And when people say to me sometimes that I'm doing so well (which I don't really feel as if I am) and that Mark would be so proud of me I actually physically hurt with, well I don't know what with. Pride? Pleasure? Nearly always makes me cry when they say it anyway.

Del Potro Square Drama?! Sounds like my kind of place :)

Evening all

Juan For purely selfish reasons you should go on holiday. I booked GC hols for me and kids first week in july so I think you should go and send back reports for me! Think I wasnt as bargain hunting savvy as I usually am with this one but was panicking as most places I looked at were all booked up. Never been there so if anyone else on here has if you have any tips it will be appreciated. Have booked tickets for a water park for kids (and me ) but we also like to go and explore wherever we go.

Anyway Juan you must do whatever suits you. I asked at my interview about my holiday and they said it was fine, they expected people to have booked holidays by now. You dont have to do anything when you get there just relax and go with whatever you feel like doing. If the kids are happy then think of it as an adventure thats what I kept telling myself when I took the kids to USA last year on my own, first time abroad with them, I was bricking it

Wish my teen had any interest in 'cooking' anything more than something on toast and cereal! Youngest is better and will put something frozen in the oven, makes fry ups, french toast etc or bake but not a meal from scratch yet, must get him started.

Thinking of pulling my Hairy Bikers Healthy Eating book of the shelf and ringing the changes. Thing is my two do not like cooked veg, pulses etc makes it difficult sometimes (dont kids always?)

Glad we dont have SATs I couldnt cope with the stress! Kids get assessed but they dont make a big deal out of it in advance it sort of ongoing plus actual assessments.

Have a good night all.

Morning all, early brigade here.

DS better but we'll have a quiet day as planned and then back to normal tomorrow.

Magi that sounds stressful yet sensible to think of the longer term plans.

Juan can you speak to work today to help swing things?

Where are you all with no SATs??
Well not that I'll have anything to do with them again as the last one was this morning. Ds2 not home yet (presumably at the park) so don't know how it went.

I laughed at sheetgate, and thought the same about the hot press reference - I think I only know it from MN references.

I hope I'm not over exaggerating my boys cooking un-expertise! And mine is none existent. But I don't want them leaving home having never cooked, or helped around the house and being the sort of bloke MN moans about not pulling their weight.

That's the first week of work over, although at 15 hours seems like a bit of a fraud to call it a week of work.
I wasn't in yesterday and got up and did some stuff, and relaxed. But didn't spend the day crying like I did last week.
Not sure on the plan for tomorrow.
I've got two client meetings lined up for next week, which will be hard initially but hopefully will be okay. And each one should make the next meeting with the same client easier (I hope).

Have you got any further with your thought on the holiday Juan?

Chasing good for you getting through your first week back at work, you'll soon have your sea legs so to speak.

We are in Ireland, so no SATS here. There is testing at the end of the school year, but it's quite low key. The big pressures come with the Leaving Certificate, which is the equivalent of A levels. I'll tell you now, I've suffered through the stress of that with the boys three times and I'm glad I never have to go through it again.

Completely agree about bringing up boys to cook and be helpful around the house. I didn't want to produce a bunch of useless young men who can't pull their weight either, & thankfully mine are reasonably house trained at this stage.

Sheetgate reared its head again this morning. We were sitting out having a coffee when DM asked me out of nowhere, 'didn't you like the blue sheets then?' I managed to distract her, thankfully

I hate heights, but I conquered a big fear of mine today & went up a mountain in a cable car. It was great actually, fantastic views.

Juan have you decided about the holiday? Hopefully work will be accommodating.

Got to get ready to go out to dinner, but I expect I'll be back later. I'm finding MN is helping me to keep my sanity this week!

The one thing I can give MIL credit for is that she raised 2 boys who can do everything.

We've had yet another stressful day. I should channel it into running but can't get out so chocolate it is. Also did some more colouring. I did have some soup at lunch with veggies etc so not all bad...

Really thankful tomorrow is Friday!

Please do update up with family dramas - other people's are always semi entertaining, not when it's your own.

Evening all

a full on day , got home a bit early , about 2.30 , so had time to go to the allotment for an hour or so. It now feels as maybe i shouldn't have, but hey ho.
Juan - hope you are managing to sort through things in your head . Sometimes though you have to go with what you want to do, and not think of others first (This is my biggest failing )
Chasing - that sounds fairly positive re work, and getting next week sorted too - it gives you structure , which I believe is a big positive when you have a lot to contend with.
magi - that is a real tough decision, but I think its one that needs a head not heart attitude. To remain independent as long as possible, and move before you are too frail to do it is a big leap. Good luck with the EA ....
Drama - I wonder if sheets are a bit of a generation thing. I do like ironed things like duvet covers and pillow cases ( in fact, if I ever win the lottery, my big indulgence would be fresh bed linen every day...), but I draw the line at sheets ! My DM used to iron on her sheets, so they got ironed while she was ironing IYSWIM :)
Cake poor DS, Is his neck better? But even more poor you

Evening Aunties.

squirrels well done on having survived your first week, hopefully it will get easier from here on in, and the routine will be something of a comfort or at least a distraction for you.

cake sounds like you're not having the best of weeks - I'm sorry :(. Hope the weekend will be more relaxing for you. I'd go for the chocolate as opposed to the running any time, and that might well explain the stone I could do with losing ... I do still seem to be existing mainly on maltesers and crisps at the moment with the occasional apple as a sop to my conscience.

drama you will never be forgiven for sheetgate I fear, you have committed an unpardonable faux pas! I thought of you earlier when I was ironing my new bedding and wondered how you were getting on!

book I'm so impressed that you had enough energy left after contending with smalls to then go and garden - you're amazing!

I went for lunch today with a woman who used to work for Mark. They kept in touch after they both moved on but I've only ever met her a few times and always with Mark, so I was a bit apprehensive. I needn't have been - she was so lovely, and she told me that Mark was the most inspirational person she'd ever met :(. She said she'd intended speaking at the funeral but by the time the opportunity arose she was too upset having listened to my dc speak and to Mark's brother and best friend.

I told the friend who invited me on holiday that I wasn't going to go. I told her I thought it was so kind and thoughtful of her to invite me and I really appreciated her thinking of me, but that at the minute I still cry a lot and very easily, and I didn't want to spoil her break. I also said that I feel at the minute that I want to stay close to my loved ones and not venture too far out of my comfort zone. Also, my three big dc want to pay for my and ds3 to go on holiday in August with them and dd's boyfriend so two holidays is out of the question I think - at least I'm sure it would be as far as new job is concerned. I don't know if we actually will go somewhere (I'd rather they saved their money than pay for me) but if we do I think it will be good for us to spend that time together. Friend said she understood but was disappointed and couldn't think of anyone she'd rather go on holiday with than me! I was a bit surprised because as I said I don't know her that well, but perhaps she was being polite!

I'm so tired tonight - going to take one of the tablets tonight and hope for a decent amount of sleep. Got to say, they don't seem too effective - maybe I have some inbuilt resistance to sleeping tablets! Hope everyone has a good night.

Evening all.

Juan you've made a decision about the holiday and it sounds like it's the right one for you. I'm sure your friend will understand about wanting to be close to your loved ones just now. That's a great idea to go on hols with your DC later in the year, it sounds lovely.

magi that's a difficult and brave but very sensible decision you are making about moving. It must be a real wrench though.

cake I love hearing about everyone else's family dramas too - it distracts me from my own!

Talking of my own, DH has now been informed he drinks too much. Poor man had a pint of beer with dinner at an Indian restaurant, followed by a small whisky and is now having a glass of wine. He rarely drinks at all at home

Hope everyone has a good evening & sleeps well x

This is what I found on my bed just now. Local puss strayed in & is making himself at home

Juan - sounds like a good idea going away later with your DC's hope you get some rest
Drama -the sheets - you'll have to wash those now !
Sleep well all
Thoughts and Prayers

Early shift reporting for duty! I've been awake for ages but DS was curled into me so couldn't get up.

His neck was still quite bad yesterday afternoon (probably because he refuses medication) so we made the decision to go to A&E after all. I stayed home with DD to do homework and get her to bed at a normalish time. They were there for hours and the Drs there couldn't believe the GP wouldn't even look at DS and told us to go to A&E and they diagnosed what Dr Google had done - torticollis.

I'm happy to report that he slept well and straightened his neck when he got up so keeping him home after the ordeal and hoping this will now improve quickly!

I don't have many family dramas but lots of ex ones and MIL has done some clangers in the past too!

Hope you got some sleep Juan. Maybe you can go back to get different tablets to try?

Squirrel don't feel like a fraud for "only" working 15 hours. At the moment that's the equivalent to climbing Everest and you should reward yourself with lots of rest and

Morning all. Cake glad ds slept well and hope today is a better day for you. Drama if I hadn't fed him an hour ago I'd swear that was our cat on your bed! He's very handsome. When are you home?

Tablets didn't do much, will have to see if they'll give me a different type. Hope everyone has a good day.

Morning all
Juan - do hope you managed a proper rest x
Hope everyone else has had a good night - and Cake - nice to hear DS's neck is easing.
No big plans today - housework and off to the allotment this morning -just for a bit as hoping to get there this afternoon too.
No rain and rather grey , so hope the washing doesn't get a rinse while I'm out :)

x post with you Juan - pah on tablets ....have a better day though

I also thought "the cat is on the sheets!" 😊 when I saw the picture from Drama.

I'm sorry to hear the sleeping isn't improving Juan. I'd agree with seeing your GP again.

I'm not sure if I've said THANK YOU to you all for this thread, but I have now.
The little insights into your day to day lives and responses to mine are really helpful.

Glad ds's neck is now sorted Cake, I also had my ds2 cuddled up with me this morning - as most mornings, but thankfully not so early.

A move towards a more urban area is probably a good idea medi, but it must be a wrench.
My parents moved down here from the NM about 13 years ago, and live in a medium village - so not totally rural but a bit isolated.
MIL needs to move to somewhere more suitable but I can't see her ever agreeing.

Morning all

Juan the holiday with your family sounds lovely.

Your friend obviously knows you better than you think😀 that's a great compliment just take it without questioning yourself.
I would go back to Gp and get a different tablet no point if they aren't helping.

cake glad the neck problem is sorting itself out. I can fully sympathise having neck and shoulder problems for donkeys years. My son is equally as stubborn he has a sore shoulder. Silly me mentioned that sitting playing games on pc wasn't helping and not good for shoulder area in first place. Pah! What would I know?

Got out the HB book yesterday but will need to do a big shop to get all the stuff I would need! Will wait till next week after spending so much this week already.

Been for coffee and to lose myself in my book. I would like to just sit and read it to the end but I need to get Hoover sorted. Stupid tiny bit of filter mesh fell apart and it wouldnt work without it and had to order new but but that bit you can't order!! Got some generic filter so need to try it, living room is a disgrace as not been done for 3 days waiting for filter. 😀

Lovely to hear the 'warp & weft' of our daily lives is of help, Squirrels.

Got an estate agent coming for a valuation this afternoon so madly tidying & chucking stuff in cupboards. DH has been told not the breathe

The carrot of moving is that I'd be 5 minutes walk from the beach!

Hope you can get some tablets that work, Juan.

Thanks all. He's gone from having it perfectly straight to it leaning over again regardless of what we say, but no reasoning with a 4yo clearly, I really have tried We are just trying to keep him moving his shoulders and head/neck and hoping it will gradually get better.

I've had better weeks (months) but I guess it's Friday and there's a lot to be grateful for and hopefully Juan and I will get to meet next week!

Sending hugs to you all x

Afternoon all
cup of coffee and feet up for a break.
Been busy as managed morning and afternoon at the allotment. I was hoping for rain, but not a drop. So the washing is dry, and needs ironing now.
Chasing - I'm glad that our posts help.
willow - DH calls that built in obsolescence - He mends ours and the DD's vacuums - tight Yorkshire here!
Cake - poor DS , it must be sore/painful for him to lean over. Our DGS is 4 and the accidents at soft play !
I live in a small market town, and am so glad - small enough to know a lot of folk, big enough to have proper shops and services. And near enough the centre to walk to the shops if we wish to . We haven't moved for many years, and decided to age proof the house instead. So we have tried to think what we may need, , and have reorganised in the event we can't climb stairs . The whole of the downstairs can turn into a complete living space if needed.
magi - hope the valuation went well . I can't begin to think how much clutter we have , so hope hiding in the cupboards worked. And yes, you do need a carrot - not only near the beach, but a community as well I presume :)

Pick me up off the floor! House worth more than we had thought & it's not a 'vanity' valuation.

All systems about to go to get ready to put it on the market in September. Paintbrushes to the ready (I hate DIY).

Not too much clutter as we have had about 15 moves over our marriage, which weeds out the junk.

magi - are you magnolia'ing from now on ? - trouble is , when you haven't moved for a while it is a shock. How do youngsters afford them now? It will be finding something you like too could be daunting. ( At least you have time to take cuttings, and maybe pot up favourite plants out of your garden too)

Book - the whole house is Ivory Cream - just a couple of rooms need a touch up.

If we can't find what we want we won't move - we are in the happy position of not having to move.