Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

Evening!
Juan - ((hugs))
Cake - 5am - you poor thing ....
migraines are truly horrid. DH used to suffer them and went through a barrage of tests and scans to try to find why. Never did though, and they finally stopped when he retired. Stress related we think. The best advice he got from the consultant was to drink plenty , and make sure he had something to eat at least every 2 hours - that helped a lot.
sort of snap! - we had savoury mince tonight ( just deconstructed cottage pie)- I always put leeks and carrots , maybe mushrooms and peas in-
An easy night tonight,and a bit of chocolate after a busy day -.
Chasing - coping as well as you can x well done , hang in there

Evening all

squirrels it must be very hard at work no matter how much you want to be 'doing sonething' or enjoyed your job in the past. Well done for even making it through the first day.

I wish I could make shepherds pie in this house but kids not keen the little crazies don't like boiled or mashed potatoes!!!! I am sure they must have been swapped at birth I love potatoes😉 now they are older I might try it I could bribe them or something😀

Now for the battle to get teen off pc and off for a shower and bed. Wish me luck.

Mine don't like it either - between one who doesn't like pie and one who doesn't like mash at all and neither liking onion or mushroom and both will eat bolognaise but not lasagne I just cook what I want within reason and they have to pick out the bits they like...

Today was a more civil start of 5:45 so he's on the mend! Popping into town for the park and a few bits and then need to clean around the boys and their toys as it's looking worse for wear. It was all shiny on Monday!

Still seems very early to me cake!

Looks like it's going to be a lovely day here.
Boys both off to school, hens fed and I've just come back to bed for a bit.

Ds2 is doing SATs this week and they have a treat afterwards, he wanted to make flapjacks yesterday to take in today - but he wasn't home from school till 4.30, I didn't get in until 5 and we leave for their jogging club at 5.30, then they are home at 7.15, tea, bit of TV, shower and bed - he just didn't have any time. So ds1 made him some about 9.30 and he has happily taken it in to school this morning.

I don't know if I've mentioned that I've joined WAY.
No idea what I was expecting but the forums are very quiet compared to MN - I suppose, thankfully, the demographic is much smaller - but there just seems to be a handful of posts a day.
I've also joined the Facebook site, but I don't do Facebook and from my initial navigation of the WAY group I'm not sure it's for me.
Will stick with it for a bit and see.

Morning
Juan - hope you are feeling better today and everyone managed to get a good nights rest .
Glorious sunshine here today - (first time for a while )
I am gofer in chief for DH today as he wants to re felt our shed .......so very boring, but can't really wander off . I am hoping it goes more quickly than he seems to think, as I really need to get on !

Hello ladies, hope you are all keeping well and enjoying the sunshine if you have it. I'm dreading a return to the rain which is promised. Haven't got round to any gardening though as my balance is so bad. I need to dead-head my daffodils. They were gorgeous this year.

I don't know if anyone watches First Dates but there are sometimes people on it who have lost their partners and it can be very emotional. They are so brave getting out there again. It can't be easy. There was a woman on last night who had been with her partner since she was 16 and he died suddenly four years ago and she's only 31 now

Afternoon Ladies
Hope eveyone is enjoying some good weather. Not raining here but very cloudy in between bursts of sunshine so dont think its far away.

Had another one of 'those days' today. Car was due to go into garage for a service but mechanic had overbooked so its in for next week. They did a diagnostic on it as exhaust light is on and its possibly the sensor which could be pretty expensive! Will have to wait and see.

Had my hair cut!! Its now just below my shoulders so had a good 10 inches chopped off at its longest! Want to go short but am taking it in stages until I pluck up the courage. Had to wait for a bit between my appointment and the garage so went for coffee and cake (any excuse) in small coffee shop that does very good coffee, the guy knows everything there is to know about coffee!

Spent ages clearing out my old emails, I never realised there were so many in my inbox! Must have got rid of 100! What a boring job, thought technology was supposed to help us be more efficient?

My teen was up at 7am!!!!!!!!!!
I went in and took his phone when I woke him up, muhahah. Told him he wouldnt get it back until he was ready for school - never seen him move so fast in a morning! Maybe I have sussed it?

Cake 5.45 isnt civilised!

Juan hope you are on the mend now.

I obviously jinxed it as he cricked his neck, didn't stop sobbing on and off for an hour even with Calpol so rang the Drs who said we can go at 10:40. DH took him and he didn't get seen till 11:10, GP didn't listen to what DH said at all and just said neck pain = A&E... this being the boy who was playing with toys, eating snacks etc by then, but had obviously hurt his neck.

We decided he just needs a quiet day and he's asked to go the park! He's still holding it funny and saying it hurts, but honestly he's not got meningitis and he hasn't had an accident, just twisted it funny - he was chatting to DH, not even horsing about as they often do.

I've consumed sugar in vast quantities since we got home...and for balance some pesto pasta with roasted veg, chicken and feta.

Sending hugs to all, even though my mind is a bit blank on the details at the moment clearly brain mush after all the stress/sleep deprivation

Stressful cake, hope his neck is better soon.

Hope the car doesn't turn out to be too expensive. I had to get the brakes fixed on John's before the lease company collected it. All I can say is don't get a BWM!

Chasing
When I went to Pick up teen from school the damm light had gone off! Maybe just a bit of dirt near sensor knocking it off a bit (clutches at straws😀)

Have spent a fortune in last 2 months on the car i really don't want another big Bill. But apparently you can't just but new seat belt clasps and they cost a fortune. Mech is going to try to get a couple out of cars he has for scrapping as I i need 2. They work just the plastic covers are broken. It's never ending this month my hairdryer packed in this morning too😠

Excuse mistakes please.

evening all
just popping head around the door to check all is okay .
Long day faffing with shed roof = hot soaking bath due
Thoughts and Prayers x

Oh bollocks - I just wrote a long post and lost it!

You're all so productive and busy! I had to stand up Cake yesterday - my migraine had gone but I woke up feeling like I'd been hit with a sledgehammer. Strangely so did Dd and also my friend's husband. Feeling much better today but haven't done much other than a bit of pottering. Have rescheduled with Cake as well :)

Squirrels well done on going back to work, I can imagine that must have taken some doing and been a bit of a double edged sword. Dd works now in the same place as Mark used to work for 17 years and she finds it both comforting and painful to have so many reminders of him around. Is there an age limit for WAY? I've been very tearful today - perhaps as a result of being a bit under the weather - but just been feeling very sad.

Willow my car is also playing up but as I want to sell it I also don't want to spend out on it just now - hope yours sorts itself relatively easily. Drama I always find sheets to be a terribly touchy subject not - hope everyone's friends again now! .book how did you fare as builders mate today?!

I had a surprising invitation today from a friend I've known a long time but not that closely. She's asked me if I'd like to go on holiday with her for a week at the end of June to Gran Canaria as her Dd has dropped out. I've spoken to my three big ones who are happy to look after my 12 yr old, and I trust them implicitly but I'm not sure. My job is meant to start early June as well so I don't know how they would feel. More importantly I snore, I look like a man when I don't wear make up, she's very slim, very blonde and incredibly glamorous! Shallow - me?!

I'm meeting a woman tomorrow who used to work for Mark. I've only met her a handful of times but he and she kept in touch after he left and they used to meet occasionally for lunch. So I'm a bit apprehensive as don't know her well but also looking forward to it.

Hi Juan - such a bugger when you lose a long post, I often don't go back and retype it all - so well done you.

That's lovely of your friend asking you to go away with her. I think part of me would jump at the chance and part wouldn't. Not very likely as my friends are all partnered with kids much the same age as mine, and all very busy with work, kids, family. A couple of ex-colleague about my age went away for a week last autumn a I remember thinking that's the sort of thing I'd have to start doing - but wtf with! In reality I'll be working when my kids are with their dad in the holidays so that I don't have to work when they are with me.

The age limit for WAY is under 50 when widowed, but there is an associated group called WAYup (I thinm) for over 50's.

Hey, we've made it to bed time and I've eaten so much crap today! still going with pop corn now

He's better but will probably keep him home as the wild animals (other 4/5 year olds) would probably not mix well with a sore neck

I hate the expense involved in being a grown up! Cars and boilers and paying for kids activities/trips/endless growth spurts. I'm sure people with money have problems and worries too, but not having to worry about that aspect of things must help!

Hmmm, I'd normally be of the go for it persuasion, but if you are going to worry about the youngest, feel like the ugly duckling and it will mess up settling into a routine with work etc, I'm not sure the timing is right. When do you need to answer by?

Been doing some mindfulness colouring which I bought in Lidl for 99p using the kids felt tips DH says it would frustrate him but I do find it soothing.

Hope you all sleep well after what sounds like a busy day for all. Juan you've been through a lot, go easy on yourself. You might feel like you're doing nothing but your body and mind just need to catch up with things sometimes. Looking forward to our rescheduled date next week

Hi Cake, glad he seems better at "wild animals".

I think the thing about money is it doesn't make you happy and it can't take away pain and hurt, but it makes everyday life a lot easier. So you don't have the added stresses that worrying about money would bring. I'd have given everything we had to cure John, but you can't buy that.

Ds2 has made tea tonight, lemon & pepper chicken escalopes & roasted potato wedges (I made those for him).
He also made cheese straws earlier to take into school for after SATs tomorrow.
Ds1 says he will do sausage casserole next Wednesday.

That's great that they are so involved in cooking. Both mine like baking but not so much anything else.

Yes, agree with you re the money.

How are the SATs going? DD stressed about it when it's not till next year!

I decided Christmas 15 to get ds1 (then just 13) a cookbook and get him cooking. He made a beef stroganoff after some nagging, and wasn't really bothered and then John got ill and normal life went out if the window. He will make snacks things, scrambled eggs, omelette etc buy not much else. He does like making flapjacks though!
Ds2 was upset he didn't get a cookbook so John got him one for his birthday a month later and he's done a few things out of it, but he's much harder work and needs more adult involvement. Usually he kind of gives up half way though.
Anyway a few weeks ago I said we should make Wednesdays their cooking night as they don't have any clubs. Ds2 was very up for it, ds1 wasn't and said he'd cook if I told him what to make (which kind of defeats the object!). So I was really pleased when he said tonight he'd do sausage casserole next week. Slightly let himself down by adding, not that I know what a casserole is!

Have to give Ds2 credit though, he made the cheese straws without me even entering the kitchen and made a decent attempt at tidying up and wiping down the surfaces as well.

Oh and SATs, well he was looking forward to them! He said reading was okay, SPAG was rubbish (NOT his strong point), maths today was good.
They have treats afterwards everyday which is a bonus.

Oh goodness, lots of stressful stuff going on on the thread. and to you all.

Chasing SATS sound like a pain, makes me glad we moved to a country where they don't do them! Good for you getting them involved in cooking. When teens, mine had to do dinner one night a week each in school holidays, with mixed but mostly edible results. It worked though, DS1 is now a chef and seems to be doing very well at it.

Juan glad you are feeling better. That's the trouble with migraines, they are hideous while they last and they leave you feeling washed out for days afterwards. They did with me anyway. Thankfully I don't get them any more - touch wood. I think the holiday idea sounds great btw, don't rule it out anyway - it could be fun and a lovely break.

Sheetgate has now blown over thank goodness. We disappeared off inland to Cordoba overnight to get a bit of space see the sights. All is sweetness & light now back at base, apart from DM remarking that there are too many wine bottles in the recycling . I have resolved to do the MN thing of smiling and nodding for the remainder of the holiday.

Evening all
Nice to hear from you Juan . I would seriously think through the holiday offer. It would give you a chance for a complete break away from familiar surroundings . And re glamorous aquaintance - it may be she looks no better first thing in a morning either - and in truth, does it matter anyway ? ( Mind you , I haven't worn make up for years so don't take any notice of me :) ) I managed as builders mate - I have been doing it for a long time. I just hate climbing ladders .... All done, just about, though it took longer than I hoped for. But I have had a hot bath, and sat and done some crotchet, so all good .
boy, am I glad I am past the DD's going through exams ... I'm not sure it truly gets any easier as they grow up -, the stresses just change .
Drama - too many wine bottles
Well, I need to be away to bed shortly - up early to get to DD's and look after DGS
Thought, prayers and a good night sleep wishes to all x

Juan - what a lovely invitation from your friend but I wonder if it will interfere too much with your new routine with the job (and )??

Don't feel bad about feeling sad, it's early days for you.

My big bit of news is that we have (almost) decided to sell up here & move into town - we love our house but the location is not good - totally reliant on car & we are not getting younger & have seen the pitfalls of delaying a sensible move from both sets of (late) parents. Have got an estate agent coming round on Friday to do a valuation - much cleaning & tidying to be done......

Hi all. The holiday offer sounds great, Juan. How long can you take to decide?
For a while I used to make desicions according to what I thought DH1 would want me to do. It helped me to be braver than I actually am.

Squirrels it sounds very busy there. Hope the SATs continue well.

Drama I really laughed at the sheet thing. That's the kind of thing I fall out with my mother over - she'll look in my hot press and tell me off for having uniroined sheets stacked in there. I roll my eyes and lie say that they're just in there so as not to gather dust until I have time to iron them.

Being a grown up is not all it's cracked up to be is it?! You have to be sensible and mature and that doesn't come easy to me some of us. And no, money can't buy health or happiness, but it can bloody well make every day life less stressful in many ways.

My two eldest ds's aren't bad cooks. I cooked every night until about eight months before ds1 went to uni, at which point something snapped. I'd had the best part of 18 years of someone not being happy at tea time, it being impossible to cook something all six of us liked. By that time both the big boys had got very much into health and fitness and so were happy to cook for themselves. They would have cooked for the rest of us as well but as a large part of their diet consisted of spinach and other greens I still had to get involved to some extent!

Dd is just not interested at all - she'd live off fast food if she could, she actually prefers it! But her boyfriend is a good cook and is trying to convert her. He'll have a job though ...! Mark had about four dishes he rotated through but the fall out in the kitchen afterwards had to be seen to be believed, and ds3 is good at things like pasta, pancakes, eggs etc. I need to get on and help him expand his repertoire a bit but tbh I've done very little bar the bare minimum lately.

I told my friend I'd let her know by Friday about the holiday - I am tempted. It's not the sort of opportunity that comes up every day although if it puts my job in jeopardy then I'll not go. Friend doesn't wear make up either and is still drop dead gorgeous! book hope the dgc don't wear you out too much tomorrow - I'd not be surprised if you wear them out you seem to have so much energy :).

Was Córdoba nice Drama? I was under the impression that there was no such thing as too many wine bottles ...

Somer that's the thing - I accidentally used sheets that had been specially laundered and stacked neatly in a cupboard for the new owners of the house who will probably throw them out anyway and now they will need washing & ironing again, which I am very happy to do. Me saying that I would do the washing & ironing before I go was met with 'but you are on holiday and I'll have to do it & it's too much for me!' and breathe...

Btw, the reference to 'hot press' totally gives you away as Irish! It's an airing cupboard to anyone who doesn't get it