Support thread for those of us having to 'co-parent' with a narc or very difficult exh thread 4

[Lilacpink40]

Hi all

Nat how did him being awkward the conversation go?

Emily sadly if he's a WN he always will be selfish. You won't be able to separate that from him, so general common sense will never apply to him. It's frustrating, but you have to know it's him being wrong not you. You didn't cause it, you can't change it, you can't control it (as previous posters have said to me). Try to work out other ways to get what you want, perhaps through solicitors or from an angle that shows him benefitting. Only for childcare communication and DCs needs. Otherwise it's better to have NC. Easier said then done, I get pages of ranting emails most days. Some days I wish it would cross over to a proper clear threats so I could take it to the police.

Today I asked for a 30min later drop off time. Was told no, I rush home, DCs dropped back 30min later. It's all control!

What a wanker Lilac

No conversation, he decided not to try and call until an hour after bedtime, of course.

FFS what is wrong with these men?...Ah, they're WN and unable to consider others!

We're nearing end of this thread. For new thread, rather then say part way "difficult exh" do you think "difficult exP / exH" be better?
Also at start we could link to the other thread with useful support topics?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2814536-Useful-information-and-links-for-people-dealing-with-narcissistic-or-difficult-ex-partners
This link at start for some background support?

Those links look great, thanks! And yes, exP is probably more welcoming, I didn't marry the twat but that doesn't make him less of an arsehole!!

Good idea for the new title Lilac. You must have the patience of a saint to withstand those emails and the drop off twattery! I wish I could think of a way you could beat him at that stupid little game. What if you did the same to him to inconvenience him (but not the dc) ?

Emily I could have written that last paragraph of your post, I suspect many of us could. The first aspect does get better with time, as for the second (separating the relationship/dc) I think that's much harder for men.

Nats Glad to see you've made another high profile contact, I love that in Finland your President comes to town and you get to talk to him.

Late to the party here, but I'm pulling up a seat.

to all.

Welcome matha I'm guessing you have the pain of a highly self-absorbed ex?
Feel free to vent.

Proud good to say exP then as covers all bases. Yes marriage or non marriage they're all narc ex's.

Thanks Dusters his "stupid little game" sums it up well. Sadly it's based on control. I need to be continually put in my place, require 'fixing'. Any sign that he's the one in the wrong and I'm normal doesn't work with his thoughts as they're all neatly in boxes controlled by fear. By being a golden child WN he never had the opportunity to develop a flexible and inquisitive mind.

It's funny it's taken a year and lots of talking (lots here) for me to realise how damaged he is.

I think we're on last 2 or 3 'pages'. I hope everyone doesn't mind but I've set up a thread 5 now, whoever is writing when we're on page 40 please try to copy this link...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2856671-Support-thread-for-those-of-us-having-to-coparent-with-a-narc-or-very-difficult-ex-partner-thread-5

Glad I didn't marry my WN but doesn't make much difference to the difficulty.

Welcome math tell us your woes, we're here to listen, commiserate and hopefully give advice.

The President takes selfies with people too there was a whole lot of teenage girls screaming his name and mobbing him to get selfies with him.

For anyone reading here...more posts are going on thread 5. Please pop over