Supposed to be getting married in 10 days

[PixieMiss]

I thought after a number of shite years I had found some happiness but no, of course not.

He just punched me while our 6 month old was watching in his Baby Bjorn. I can't stop crying

Don't know why I'm posting. I just don't want to be alone.

Do call the police, it will help if you are later concerned about his access to your baby. And well done for getting away from him. Your mum makes me so mad!

My dd drives me nuts sometimes but I will not stand for any bastard laying a finger on her.

I'm so sorry you're mum has let you down at a time when you needed her the most.

well done for thinking clearly and getting you and your DS to safety.

Stay strong, even if he tries to get you back, but remember the wise words on here. He has the capacity to hit you, he's proved that already.

It means he has the capacity to do it again. Don't give him the opportunity. He will live to regret laying a finger on you.

So full of admiration for you, OP.

That's actually disgraceful of your Mum. Very hurtful to you on top of everything else.
You have done well op. But please as other people have said report to the police. It's important to have a log of this stuff.
I know it will be hard cancelling the wedding and that amongst everything else you will be worried about what people will think of that. It honestly doesn't matter. It was a day they had planned to do something and now they won't be doing it.it honestly will matter less to them than you think it will. And far better to tell them the wedding is off (and tell the important ones why as well-don't cover for him), then to tell them in a few months or years that you or DC have been hurt by this man.
Hope you are ok and managed to get some sleep.

Get the locks changed.
Tell your excuse of a mother that it's 2016. Make it clear to her that it's you she should support you not this pathetic excuse of a human and if she doesn't then she's out of your and dcs life.
And call the bloody police! My sister didn't the first time her dickhead husband hit her. She did the second time when she ran out with the torn clothes on her back and no shoes in her feet. When he hit her so hard that her teeth were displaced, she suffered permanent damage to the nerves in her face and her shoulder was dislocated. There must not be a second time for you.

Feel like death warmed up this morning. I hurt everywhere.

I sent the email last night, it was all there in drafts so took a deep breath and just hit send. What else is there to do? Can't wait till day before or hour before or minute before.

This is nothing new from my mother. I was in an horrifically abusive relationship with an alcoholic 20 years older than me for 4 years. My mum always encouraged me to stay as he was very wealthy and "I would have had a nice life".

I am going to speak to 101 today, to log the incident. Feels like a huge thing to do and I feel rough as it is.

It's absolutely normal, albeit galling, to feel like death warmed up in a situation like this. The emotional tension of staying sane is enough to that on its own. Added to that you have the delights of M's disgraceful thoughts to contain. You might find, once you're free again to be the you that is happy and comfortable, that you distance yourself from her toxic nature. You're doing the right things to pave a way out of this hell and I'm incredibly proud of you

Good luck op. You are doing the right and best thing. I've seen my friend make the mistake of not cancelling and four years of abuse, which got worse, she finally made the break. She bitterly regrets not making it before but thankfully has done now.

It's good not to cover up or sugar the truth. He was violent, this is his fault and to be honest about that stops any lies or minimising he may try.

Your mother...is nc not an option? She sounds toxic and no support for you at all.

Good luck with 101.

You are being amazing. I hope you get better support from other friends and family than your mum is giving you.

Just read this. You poor thing. You have been so strong, well done.

Thank goodness you have the house. Please ring 101 as soon as you can and keep your doors locked. (((hugs)))

Just sending support. What an absolute shame your mother is so messed up she thinks punching someone,meet alone the woman you are about to marry, is OK.

Well done for sending the email. Now call 101. Making the whole thing real will get you the RL support you need. And plenty on here if you are short in RL.

Keep hanging on. Really well done.

Go Pixie! We are all cheering for you here. I'm so, so happy you are safe and will be calling 101. Please keep posting. Please change the locks.
Do you have any supportive friends close to you? Whereabouts are you in the UK?

You are doing so well with all of this.
You ache because the adrenalin has now depleted.
Make sure you look after yourself.
Keep yourself hydrated and your sugar levels up because shock could hit you soon.
Keep going and keep strong!

Good Luck Pixie how dare your partner treat you and your DS this way?

Your Mum's attitude is sadly not unusual, but I believe it's a view that will change over time, but only because brave ladies like you have the courage to stand up for yourselves.

Go to the police, for you and your DS. And do it knowing you are helping other women too.

Well done OP. You know you're doing the right thing - be proud that you're such a fab mum

Pixie you are so, so doing the right thing.

I know that logging this feels like the most enormous, daunting thing in the world. You need to actually speak to someone, rather than "talk" to us on your computer or send emails.

But you know what? You can do this. You've already taken the biggest step - you have decided that you're not going to take any more. You've sent those emails and you walked out with your wonderful ds. He is so lucky- he has such a strong mummy who will protect him.

You can do this Pixie. You're stronger and braver than you think.

Well done. You are being really strong. Have you got a friend who can support you as your mum is obviously going to encourage you to stick with him.
I think you know that someone who can hit you like this is not going to get any more reasonable. He is dangerous to you and will use your DS to control you. So definitely report him and tell the police that you are in fear of him as you are calling off the wedding. I guess there will be someone along who can tell you what the police can do to protect you - I think they have special domestic violence units.

PixieMiss Poor you and for that matter your mother too. She must have had some odd things go on in her life to have those attitudes. Well done too for having the guts to call101 least its on record what happened that's the main thing.

Just out of some odd curiosity have you been in contact with his mum and or dad at all to see what he/she has to say about her sons behaviours?

Don't worry about the nipper. I've dropped each of my 3 DD's whist on nappy changing and bum polishing duties ! all of them are fine older women healthy now and none the worse for their experiences!

Well done on sending the email and for logging the incident. You are absolutely doing the right thing.

Keep going pixie get it logged and start packing his shit to leave outside the front door.

As for your mother I am quite disgusted by her attitude towards this situation!

Christ, your mother sounds lovely

Please do call the police. And change the locks on your house.

Get his stuff out and keep him out.

Clearly he thinks if he's nice to you for a day or two you will take him back. Don't believe The Script.

He will be sorry
He may cry
When you don't accept this he will blame you
You made him do it
If you just be more careful in the future it won't happen again
He will get therapy (he won't)
He won't let you have your son (he has no choice in that)
He will kill himself
He has no reason to live without you.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Ignore him.

Yeap, I forgot to say that I'm another one who had more than one accident with my baby, duh! She's a fine mother herself now.

You're a strong woman and we are here for you.

Just to say. A friend of ours cancelled his wedding with a months notice. No abuse, no bad behaviour on either side. He just realised it wasn't what he wanted.

His friends and family were all supportive, nobody cared about lost deposits or unrefundable suit hire. Those things are utterly irrelevant. No reasonable person expects somebody else to get married out of personal obligation to them.

Well done Pixie. Stay strong. As someone who went back to a boyfriend as it was just the once....well he held off another year but a leaopard can't change his spots and I felt a lot more trapped as we had a home together by then. Definately log it with the police, you need that record if he tries to get custody, and keeping your child safe I'm sure is priority one. He never hit you...until he did. A lot of woman have told themselves their partner would never hurt their child.... until they do. Best of luck to you