Supposed to be getting married in 10 days

[PixieMiss]

I thought after a number of shite years I had found some happiness but no, of course not.

He just punched me while our 6 month old was watching in his Baby Bjorn. I can't stop crying

Don't know why I'm posting. I just don't want to be alone.

[amusedbush]

What can I say??

You say that he physically assaulted you and so there will be no wedding. Anyone who makes a fuss is not someone you want in your life.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

The wedding needs to be cancelled today. You cannot marry him particularly after he has punched you. Your son cannot afford at all to grow up in a violent household.

As Lonny has said get your mother onto cancelling the wedding and do not hold back at all on the reason why (some abusive men can appear plausible to those in the outside world so do not protect their secrets).

[ooonatoffolo]

sorry for x post.

SO GLAD you are out.

Tell those close that he PUNCHED you.
they can help tell the less close ones why the wedding is off.
No one decent will care about inconvenience, they will care about YOU.

Thank God you are not going into that marriage.x

I'd still call the Police so there is a formal record of what happened.

[ZippyNeedsFeeding]

Don't worry about the wedding, ask your mother to call round the relatives and friends on your side and he can deal with his own. Call the venue/registrar or church and let them know the wedding is off. Be honest and tell people that he punched you, so you left him. They will understand, I promise.

What you need to be thinking about is calling the police, getting them to help you get your/your child's stuff out safely and sorting out your immediate future. Make sure you go through whatever legal processes are necessary to keep him away from you and to make him pay to support his child.

Well done for getting out. This is the only way to make sure this never happens again.

[seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom]

Glad to hear you are safe with your DM. Please cancel the wedding, please don't go back to him. Please do call the police. Get family and friends you trust and who love you to help you with all of this.

[BadTasteFlump]

OP do still report him to the Police. You need what has happened on record.

Then if he turns up at the door and/or starts demanding contact with your baby, you will have grounds for allowing it on your terms - or not allowing it at all for now

[furryminkymoo]

I am glad that you have taken action, as a guest I would be happier that you hadn't gone ahead with the wedding rather than go ahead for the sake of the guests. Honestly I would.

10 days is plenty of time for guests to rearrange, if I had a hotel booked I might be tempted to use it anyway and spend time with family regardless, if that makes sense.

Give your wee boy a big cuddle from all of us Mumsnetters wishing him and you well.

[middlings]

Tell them the truth. Call the police.

Am so glad you're safe.

I'm sure your and his grandmother would far rather you and your son were safe than worry about money.

Take care of yourself and good luck.

[iremembericod]

A cancelled wedding is cheaper than a divorce I promise you!

Anyone who gives a shiny shit about outfits etc. is being a dick. Most people will simply silently support your decision. I would be horrified if I went to a wedding where I knew the groom had punched the bride, I would want no part of it.

[BadTasteFlump]

By the way - is there any chance you have been injured? Is there a mark?

If so also see your GP asap - get an emergency appointment.

Even just from the point of view of gathering evidence to protect you & your baby in the future.

[movpov]

You cannot 'make this work' and it is not your fault. He might be happy for you to think that because it lets him avoid responsibility for his behaviour. Accidents happen with kids so don't beat yourself up about that. Please do not marry him and don't worry about money spent on the wedding - better to lose that than risk more violence. Tell everyone the wedding is off and if they ask why - tell them. Do not whatever you do though, let him worm his way back in with apologies and promises of it will never happen again - it will.

[HermioneWeasley]

Call the police so there's a lot of the incident. Also go to your GP or a walk in centre so they have a record. Take a picture of your injuries.

Tell people you're calling off the wedding because he assaulted you.

Good luck, you have the support and wisdom of MN behind you

[sprinklesofweirdness]

wishing all the best for you but, just start putting together a good case against him right now, before any marks fade, preferably go to the hospital or the police so it is reported to them. Stay well away from him and keep your son with you at all times.

hope it all goes well x

[SandyY2K]

How can he say he'll love and cherish you when he's already violated that before saying his wedding vows.

The only regret will be marrying him.

Accidents happen with babies. From rolling off the bed to fingers getting hurt by drawers.

Just check your baby isn't running a temperature or has gone off his food, or behaving differently. Take him to the GP if you want him checked over.

Don't marry this man. The abuse will only escalate.

[RepentAtLeisure]

Ask your DM to call people and ask them to inform their families. And tell the truth. No-one will be angry with you, they'll be relieved that you didn't go through with it.

[SapphireStrange]

What can I say??

Exactly what you said to us. He punched you.

Call the police and get this logged.

Please come back here any time; you can see we're all here to support you.

[50ShadesOfEarlGrey]

If I spent hundreds or even thousands on a wedding for either my daughter or son and they cancelled, for ANY reason, literally any reason I wouldn't be cross, because their future happiness is worth so much more. this applies even if they had a sudden realisation that they were not really in love or just not sure. Now think about how I would feel if they told me their partner had hit them. I would be forbidding them to marry! (As much as I can forbid a 25 year old son, who towers over me, anything.

Whilst this is devastating news for all of your family, I am sure your parents will feel the same as me - it's a lucky escape.

[whothefuckhas5children]

A member of my family cancelled her wedding 2 nights before. Best thing she ever did. She lost money and had to put up with some derogatory remarks but what's that compared to what might have been a lifetime of unhappiness?

This.
Your grandmother would not want you to be beaten up
Glad you're out - STAY OUT!

(my children have also fallen off the bed - unfortunately it's a right of passage and it happens no matter how careful you are)

[VanellopeVonSchweetz99]

So happy you and your boy are safe now.
You have had some excellent advice here and I really hope all goes well for you.

[Lynnm63]

Hired suits can be returned, dresses sold on. If you were my daughter I'd rather lose the cost of a wedding than pay the cost of a funeral. Two women a week killed.
Even if he never did it again and I imagine he would in the back of your mind the knowledge he was prepared to punch you would be present. You don't deserve to live like that.
Well done in getting out, if any one asks tell them the truth, if any one else has any issue with you cancelling the wedding because they've bought a dress then they are people you can do without.

[Topseyt]

Tell people that the wedding is cancelled because he assaulted you. Make clear that you would rather not go into further detail at this time.

As someone else has already suggested, perhaps your mum or other trusted family member could handle this part for you, saying that you are not able to cope with questions at this time.

Do go to the police though.

[Butteredparsn1ps]

Glad you at your Mums, and that you are both safe. Have you been able to talk to her about what happened?

[cestlavielife]

call 101 now and report the incident this is very important.
you need this recorded.
best the police go talk to him now while he is angry they will see how he behaves.
this way you will get support to ensure only supervised contact for now