Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If your dp thought you wouldn't find out..

210 replies

Followyourart · 30/12/2015 09:23

Do you think they would sleep with someone else, if they had the opportunity and we're sure you wouldn't find out?
Because I think that mine would, and I'm not sure what that days about my relationship....

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 30/12/2015 09:26

I firmly believe the majority of men will take an opportunity to play away if they feel confident they won't get found out.

Arfarfanarf · 30/12/2015 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALaughAMinute · 30/12/2015 09:28

What Pocket said. Sad but true.

MrsH1989 · 30/12/2015 09:30

Even if my DH was sure he would never get found out I dont think he would. He is very against one night stands and would struggle to hide an affair as I know all his passwords. IF he changed them and wouldnt tell me what they were then I would be onto him.

museumum · 30/12/2015 09:31

I doubt it. He's not very sexually confident and also doesn't have the highest sex drive.
He's always been very self-deprecating about not being good at pulling women when he was single.

Costacoffeeplease · 30/12/2015 09:32

I don't think mine would - I'm not being naive, I'm sure a lot of men would, but I don't think he's one of them

honeysucklejasmine · 30/12/2015 09:32

Not a chance.

And I'd be mightily offended if someone suggested I would be disloyal simply because I had a penis. If someone is happy to cheat, its because they are an arsehole, not because they are a man.

3sugarsplease · 30/12/2015 09:33

I'm pretty sure my partner wouldn't. He doesn't believe in casual sex and certainly not playing away.

He cuts people out of his life for this kind of behaviour. He has very strong morals - and I love that about him.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 30/12/2015 09:35

It depends. I don't think so, yet I have plenty of male friends who would/ do and their wives would
swear blind they wouldn't. So I suppose DH could be similar to them

SevenSeconds · 30/12/2015 09:35

Of course you can never be completely sure, but I'm pretty confident that DH wouldn't have an affair with another woman.

However, I guess he might (probably would?) have a one night stand or two if he was guaranteed not to get found out. That would bother me far less than an affair - if it was just about sex with no emotional involvement. We've been together for 18 years, so our sex life is comfortable rather than thrilling.

AyeAmarok · 30/12/2015 09:35

I think many men would. But not all. I'd guess about half. Actually, more than half as half actually do, maybe 70% would if the opportunity presented itself.

I don't think mine would.

LBOCS2 · 30/12/2015 09:38

No, I don't think he would.

For him, infidelity is an absolute deal breaker. He judges people very harshly for it and on it, and is absolutely black and white with sticking to his own moral viewpoint.

twinkletoedelephant · 30/12/2015 09:45

I am pretty sure dh would ...and at some point will.

He tried when the babies were tiny.... She turned him down I stayed with him after i found out (looked at his phone for a genuine reason and saw text messages)

Our relationship has never been the same I will never trust him again. He carries on as normal. He believes we are fine.

With 2 prob 3 kids with problems its unlikely anyone else would want me, so I feel like I am waiting for the day I will become a single parent with 3 disabled dcs while he becomes the Disney dad he always wanted. With all the freedom of the week and eow contact...

BifsWif · 30/12/2015 09:48

Your post made me feel really sad twinkle. You deserve more than that Flowers

I'd like to think my DH wouldn't, but can anyone really be sure?

I'd be interested to see what we would all do if the question were reversed. I wouldn't cheat, I don't have the energy or the inclination!

jellyjiggles · 30/12/2015 09:53

I think anybody is capable of anything given the right set of circumstances. I don't think my DH has but I can't be 100% sure. He's not very sexually driven and I imagine he'd feel terrible afterwards.

I would have done years ago but not now. It's just not worth it!

AlanPacino · 30/12/2015 09:54

I don't think mine would. He's very transparent and open so I think he knows it would screw with his head too much.

Lndnmummy · 30/12/2015 09:55

You never know but I would be surprised. An emotional thing, yes I do think so at times he might have done or do this (which to me is bad enough should I find out) but something sexual I do not think so.

AlanPacino · 30/12/2015 09:57

I just asked him and he said no, he 'wouldn't want anyone in that intimate space' he shares with me.

TimeToMuskUp · 30/12/2015 09:58

I'd like to think not; he's very honest and very loyal. But you can't know for certain, can you?

In the reverse situation I can guarantee that I wouldn't. I'm just not a ONS/affair sort, and can't be arsed shaving my legs for DH let alone for a stranger.

Branleuse · 30/12/2015 09:59

No I dont think he would. Hes had opportunities, and he had opportunities in his ex marriage too and never took it

ChristmasHousewife · 30/12/2015 10:00

I really don't think mine would. He's a terrible liar so he'd know I would find out and would just end it then sleep with them.

Having said that, I'm quite sure that he doesn't want to at all currently, he's very happy with me and our marriage. Doesn't mean I'm complacent about the possibility of things changing though, we're still relatively early days at late 20s/early 30s.

Pidapie · 30/12/2015 10:03

I definitely think mine would not do it.

Firsteverchangeofname · 30/12/2015 10:05

Yes I think possibly,

I think the job I'm in has shown me over the years much goes on, One minute the guys are producing pics of their wife and family over a group dinner.

Next night pissed and waking up in someone else's bed.

Quite a few 'perfect husband' shockers over the years.

scarednoob · 30/12/2015 10:05

I'm v confident mine never would. He's had it done to him in the past and hated it.

However of course he has other things that drive me mad (gets wound up over things like needing to sell his house that he should just get on with instead of stewing over it for two sodding years whilst the sodding thing sits empty, grrrr) and I've been out with guys previously that were much more perfect in those regards. But I would have said most of those might well have done (in fact 1 did, regularly). So I value his honesty and fidelity v highly!

firesidechat · 30/12/2015 10:17

No my husband wouldn't. Neither would I.

Swipe left for the next trending thread