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Original poster

If your dp thought you wouldn't find out..

210 replies

Followyourart · 30/12/2015 09:23

Do you think they would sleep with someone else, if they had the opportunity and we're sure you wouldn't find out?
Because I think that mine would, and I'm not sure what that days about my relationship....

OP posts:
magoria · 30/12/2015 10:19

I don't think mine would. Easy to say though.

Getit · 30/12/2015 10:21

Yes sadly experience has taught me that even someone you think would never cheat does eventually. I think its ingrained in men to cheat .

betrayedandwobbly · 30/12/2015 10:29

I always thought mine never would. I really thought he had a moral compass and would think less of himself.

I discovered otherwise just over 3 years ago. It really was one of the "perfect husband shockers" (good term, that).

So yes I think a lot of people would, given an opportunity and the belief they could get away with it.

But I'd also agree that there are many people who know they wouldn't get away with it, having morals and insight and things like that which mean they know it would change them and there's no getting away with or from that.

You can be sure where you lie on that scale. The potential for a nasty shock, even from someone you think you've known inside out for years, will always be there.

Quodlibet · 30/12/2015 10:30

I don't think men are any more hard wired than women. Out of the two of us (me and male DP) I think I am more disposed to infidelity than he is. Not that I would because I value our relationship too highly, but I'm the more sexually motivated/adventurous out of the two of us and have cheated on partners before, whereas he never has.

Bogeyface · 30/12/2015 10:32

Yep.

OTheHugeManatee · 30/12/2015 10:37

No. DH wouldn't. He was badly burned by a cheating ex and is very black and white about infidelity.

Hatethis22 · 30/12/2015 10:38

No he wouldn't. If he could spend £1k on himself without me finding out he would in a heartbeat. Everyone has their weaknesses.

Quietattheback · 30/12/2015 10:50

Yes, I think mine would/has but then our marriage is hardly the great romance of the century.

LBOCS2 · 30/12/2015 11:05

I don't think men are any more hard wired than women. Out of the two of us (me and male DP) I think I am more disposed to infidelity than he is. Not that I would because I value our relationship too highly, but I'm the more sexually motivated/adventurous out of the two of us and have cheated on partners before, whereas he never has.

This applies to me too, and I know it preys on his mind - which is part of the reason I'm quite confident he wouldn't do it.

LaurieFairyCake · 30/12/2015 11:20

Mine wouldn't. Not even if a nude Heather Graham was beckoning him to the bed.

I think a good percentage would though.

RJnomore1 · 30/12/2015 11:24

No. I'm absolutely sure.

Like others have said he does have other weaknesses though (as do all of us). The perfect husband doesn't exist really and I think putting people on a pedestal is dangerous.

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 11:30

I am conflicted on this one.

I am usually the first one to say "never trust anyone 100%" but I have racked my brains here and I just don't think he would

Not because he is so "moral" (which he is) but because I know how much he loves me and he knows how much it would damage us even if I never found out

That's the only way I can explain it and I am happy with that.

Original poster
Followyourart · 30/12/2015 11:32

I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it to him - nothing to do with the guilt is personally feel although this is part of the reason.. But although I'm more sexually adventurous and have a higher drive, he has had more casual sex than me and I think doesn't consider sex to be a big deal, whereas I do feel that sex "means something" and usually only happens for me when I have feelings for someone. I've also grown up without porn, unlike him - porn has been a big part of his life. Not sure why this makes a difference, but I think I have a different view on sex to him. He does work away a lot and it got me thinking, I suppose it's the not finding out on my part which is key, but don't we all like to think that we could 100% trust our partners?

OP posts:
Original poster
Followyourart · 30/12/2015 11:34

..in the sense that what I don't know couldn't hurt me, so would I want to know if it meant nothing to him and was just sex? And that I was still the one he came home to and loves..

OP posts:
MaliaGrace · 30/12/2015 11:39

I see quite a lot of men I work with bring their dc to work, show off photos, talk about the children and their achievements and then in the same breath, talk about the latest OW/ONS.

It isn't just one man, it's a number and this leads me to think that many men, not all, would sleep with someone else.

hownottofuckup · 30/12/2015 11:41

Yup, I know full well he is a liar and a cheat. I was shocked to the core when I first discovered who he really was.
Still, we get on well enough.

Original poster
Followyourart · 30/12/2015 11:42

If it was a redhead he had the chance with I think he definitely would, and this makes me feel sad and worthless ! :-/

OP posts:
JohnLuther · 30/12/2015 11:44

No fucking way would I cheat on my wife in any situation. If you think that your DH would then you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

BitchPeas · 30/12/2015 11:45

I'm 90% sure he wouldn't. But if the circumstances were right then he possibly would. But he knows it would be over if he did, I would never ever forgive, I'd kick him out and never look back, so I think that would be the main thing that would stop him tbh.

HolgerDanske · 30/12/2015 11:48

Lots of people would. Women too.

Viviennemary · 30/12/2015 11:50

I asked my DH this once years ago. He said he wouldn't as he might 'catch something'. I thought What a charmer. Grin

Nightzone · 30/12/2015 11:52

Lots of people do never mind would. I know 3 women who have cheated with two having affairs and none have been discovered. I'm trying to work out if my DH has or is about to!

EmissaryoftheGorgonites · 30/12/2015 11:54

I think mine would, despite having it done to him previously he has a history of being a completely inconsiderate arsehole.

Magpie18 · 30/12/2015 11:59

I was absolutely confident he wouldn't, but he did - and much more. I never considered cheating before I found out, now I'm not so sure

Original poster
Followyourart · 30/12/2015 12:07

To any of you that have been through it - does it make you wonder if relationships are even worth it?

OP posts:
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