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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

If your dp thought you wouldn't find out..

210 replies

Followyourart · 30/12/2015 09:23

Do you think they would sleep with someone else, if they had the opportunity and we're sure you wouldn't find out?
Because I think that mine would, and I'm not sure what that days about my relationship....

OP posts:

DownstairsMixUp · 30/12/2015 17:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

DrMorbius · 30/12/2015 17:58

The whole post is for designed for "men bashing". I know the site has an intrinsic bias....but come on.

OK then rather a random "theoretical" discussion that can never go anywhere. Op why not just ask how many people have been cheated on?

Most people cheating do not expect to get caught. So it the same question asked with at least a foothold in reality.

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 17:59

Did you not see where the "man bashing" got picked up on ? Selective vision you have there.

DrMorbius · 30/12/2015 18:06

AF really.......

Original poster

Followyourart · 30/12/2015 18:11

I wasn't "man bashing" why come on a board called "mumsnet" if you think you might get your knickers in a twist about discussions involving men that may not always be positive. I didn't want to bring gender into the topic specifically, but as women are in the majority on here, and I am one myself then it made sense to base it around the cheating on by male partners ..
You sound like a daily mail reader, wanting to argue all the time.

OP posts:

51howdidthathappen · 30/12/2015 18:14

No. I don't think my partner would.
I must certainly wouldn't. Getting caught is irrelevant. I would know.

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 18:18

have a little sherry, DrM

Good will to all men 'n' shit

Chamonix1 · 30/12/2015 18:22

Wouldn't call it man bashing, not at all! I don't think ALL men would do it, but actually I genuinely believe if my DH thought he could sleep with a beautiful women without if affecting our relationship he would.
Would op have to start another thread asking all the men on mumsnet if they think their wives would cheat, given the chance when certain they'd get away with it in order to not be considered sexist?
I don't think it would be a very active thread, I'm sure you'll correct me if I'm wrong.

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 18:25

well, DrM had as much opportunity to reply in kind as anyone else did

but he chose to take the 'ump

they must have run out of sherry in the Morbius household

Seeyounearertime · 30/12/2015 18:33

I don't see how its a "Man Bashing" thread?
Maybe if the title said "DH" instead of "DP"?
As far as Im concerned its a cheating bastard Bashing thread.

RingDownRingUp · 30/12/2015 19:22

Yes, I think he would. Perhaps he even has. More likely to be with a prostitute or hooking up with someone from one of those websites that matches you up worth other married people for shagging purposes. He has to travel a lot with work so it would be very easy for him to get away with it. Can't see him having an affair as he would struggle with the emotional attachment side of things.

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 20:02

why are you with him ?

Enoughalreadyyou · 30/12/2015 20:11

Perfect husband shocker! Was paying for escorts for over 15 years without me having a clue. How can anyone be so naive? Blamed me as well. Charmer.

HelpfulChap · 30/12/2015 20:41

I didn't see the OP as 'men-bashing' i took it at face value.

FWIW the vast majority of my friends and colleagues have been faithful to their wives. Some haven't and by the same token I can think of at least 4 mates where it has been the wife that cheated.

Difficult to make sweeping generalisations.

naughtyjezebel · 30/12/2015 20:58

I read once that statistically more women have affairs and are more likely to get away with it, because we are better liars .

Dp and I have both slept with other people ...he admitted it on questioning, whereas I only admitted half the story. We were living far apart so I don't think either of us expected monogomy.

Now we are more serious and are supposed to be monogomous but I don't really trust that when he goes abroad, he would turn down the opportunity of a ONS if he knew I wouldn't discover it.

I am very skeptical and tend not to trust people though.

I have a dim view of human nature. I am quite capable of cheating and can look someone I love in the eye and tell a huge untruth.

Dp says that the reason I don't trust people is for the same reason that a burglar fears leaving their own house empty. Ha ha

DrMorbius · 30/12/2015 21:06

Sorry AF been out for dinner with DW and two DD's.

OK tomorrow I will start a thread - Women , moaning feckers, or genetically predisposed to suck the fun out of any situation.

What do you think girls

iwashappy · 30/12/2015 21:11

A year and a half ago I would have said DH would never cheat, he was a decent man with morals.

Turns out I got him totally wrong and he's cheated most of his adult life. He's now ex-DH.

For naïve now call me cynical - sadly.

HolgerDanske · 30/12/2015 21:11

Meh, can't say I think anything at all about it, if I'm honest. I'm completely indifferent to whether or not you think women moan and suck the fun out of everything. I'm also completely indifferent to whether or not you address me as 'girl'. So maybe don't bother?

Chamonix1 · 30/12/2015 21:50

scarednoob · 30/12/2015 22:03

Wow dr troll, what a ringing endorsement of your DW and DDs!

bunique · 30/12/2015 22:12

No. His dad cheated repeatedly on his mum when he was very young. He gets upset just watching people being unfaithful on TV! And has no time for friends who have played away. He's probably even more trustworthy than I think i am tbh!

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 23:09

I think you should do that, DrM

what did you have for dinner, was it nice ?

DrMorbius · 30/12/2015 23:16

so why Did you contribute to his tosh AF, i thought better of you.

Sallystyle · 30/12/2015 23:18

Nah, I really don't think he would.

But people are shocked when I tell them I cheated when I was much younger in my first marriage. I shocked myself and I was the very last person anyone thought was capable of cheating due to my serial cheating father.

But it happened, and while it was over a decade ago I still carry the guilt around with me and I've never been tempted to cheat on DH who I have been with for 10 years, but I think anyone is capable of it under the wrong circumstances.

I trust my husband more than I could ever trust anyone else, but I don't trust anyone 100%. So while I don't think he would and I would be shocked if he ever did I can't say he never would with 100% confidence because I've seen too many people say the same who then were cheated on. I would be truly floored if he did though and would never trust anyone else ever again.

I know I wouldn't cheat even if I knew DH wouldn't find out. I don't want sex with anyone else, I would never want to betray him and I never want to feel as shitty about myself like I did when I cheated on my ex. It's just not worth it and the thought of being intimate with anyone else does not appeal to me at all.

AnyFucker · 30/12/2015 23:18

You know fuck all about me

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