DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

yellow I hope you are ok? Don't panic we've all been there!
Hi all I hope you are all well. I haven't been around much here life has suddenly got very busy! I have had an upturn in work I have been away in half term and yes I am still living and breathing Mari Kondo to the point of obsession (mostly reading the facebook group rather than actually tidying at the moment) but life is so much better than its ever been and its down to so many different factors. The main one is saying goodbye to alcohol.
I'm amazed at how many people I have met recently who don't drink or drink on a small handful of occasions. When I first started this journey I honestly thought it was going to be a bleak and lonely journey and it hasn't been.
I'm going out tonight with my partner to a function and neither of us will be drinking and it holds no fear for me now. I never thought my life could change like this.
Thank you all again for your amazing support. I couldn't have achieved any of this without you.
marry I'm glad you have checked in. I've been thinking about you a lot

Hi everyone- yellow are you about lovely? Keep posting,no matter how the past day has gone.

marry great to see you!

Hope everyone is okay. I had a great lunch out.....it ended up being lunch plus a drag act cabaret that my friend's mother had arranged as a surprise for my friend. I thought that being stone sober at a cabaret might be a bit tough, but actually it was great! Lots of fun, and I could concentrate on the songs, the humour, the fun, really lose myself in it. Had a good mocktail of elderflower cordial, crushed raspberries, mint and lemonade. Mmmm.

Currently reading The Empty Room.... recommended by Teapot upthread.

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Empty-Room-Lauren-Davis-ebook/dp/B00CXUM74W

Only on page 74 but really enjoying it so far.

Onwards Sober Warriors.

thanks for your support everyone. Well, made it through Fri and lapsed yesterday. I have terrible PMT which has made it harder. What it reminded of really is how much I enjoy being sober. It took me till 2am to sleep last night and I thought fuck this. Am going to forgive myself and continue on the sober path because I prefer it.
Well done everyone, you're all doing fantastic. Am on day 36 with 1 small lapse

Yay! Well done Yellow for jumping straight back in with us and especially for forgiving yourself xx

yellow I drank at Christmas and like you it proved I don't actually enjoy it at all.

Hi yellow !! Good on you. I find that with lapses too... it serves to emphasise how much I detest drinking.

All fine here. Well- have just been hit with a horror car repair bill for our ancient rusting heap, but really do not want to buy a new car this year so have to suck it up.

I FINALLY got DH to agree to me using my not-drinking money to go away for a few days before Christmas. HUZZAH!!!!

Planted Dutch Irises in the garden at the weekend.

Off to an AA meeting at lunchtime.

All good. :)

... I should add that the trip away is for ALL of us. I realised it read like it was just for me. I want to take us to Lapland and to visit Santa's grotto.It was something that was always too expensive.... but my not-drinking money ought to cover it! (fingers crossed.)

Cheesy your Lapland trip sounds fabulous, what a treat that will be, definitely worth sacking off the Wine Witch for!

How did AA go? I have to say, you sound really happy these last few days and it's lovely to hear xx

Hi Hurricane. :) How are you? AA went quite well, thanks. One of the women said something that really made sense. She said that usinng alcohol is like taking an elevator to the bottom, but you can decide which floor you want to get off at. I liked that. So many people say you need to 'hit' your rock bottom before getting better, so I liked her analogy more.

How are you doing?

I've heard that one Cheesy. I like this one too... that 'rock bottom' is just the point at which you choose to stop digging.

Lovely sunny day here this morning. Hope everyone's well. :)

Also a good one Teapot Thanks.:)

Sunny here too! It's just lovely. :)

I chose to stop digging when I got too tired to dig!
Its a beautiful day here too! Ive noticed its very quiet in here lately but I still read... I was just driving in the beautiful sunshine when I realised that I don't even think about drinking in the evenings any more. I'm also lucky that I am not much of a pub goer so I don't face that FOMO too often.
Its amazing how far you can come in such a short space of time.
Have a lovely day sober warriors!

Still here, still Dry :) Busy in the sunshine!

How are things with you, glad ?

Cheesy still shite stuff here, but at least I am sober to deal with it as much as I can. A lot of it I have to accept I can't - The Serenity prayer is proving VERY useful. Sunshine and gardening is helping, as is lovely AJ - the Healing app is very good :)

How about you?

Cheesy I'm really good thanks for asking, still dry and happy despite some "family stuff" going on.....but everyone has stuff going on don't they?? There's always going to be something, particularly with one family member and drinking won't change that, it will just make it more difficult to deal with.
I have to say, I can't believe I'm not even bothered about alcohol....But I'm embracing it for sure.

I'm loving the lift analogy. Teapot the rock bottom one is a good one too. .

I'm going on holiday 3 weeks on Saturday, don't know where yet but most likely Canaries somewhere. I'm a little apprehensive to be honest. Don't know how I'll feel but I suppose it will just be a case of taking it day by day.

I'll definitely think about the lift and the rock bottom analogies but any more tips????? First sober holiday (I hope)!!

KTF sober warriors!!

Hello everyone,

I am in dire need of help having fallen spectacularly off the wagon twice in the past week ... and I have no idea why.

Absolutely disgusted and mortified with myself.

Last week I was really unwell with a nasty cold virus. It was a bit more than your average cold a cold though - I was very woolly headed (is the only way I can describe it) and sort of jelly legged - very weak and woozy on my feet, and I didn't go out of the house for several days. On the Saturday I got up and dressed for the first time in days and ventured out to do some shopping - still feeling weak and lightheaded and for whatever reason - bought two bottles of wine .. which I proceeded to drink! I don't know why I bought them, I don't know why I opened one as soon as I got home, and I don't know why I ended up drinking the lot! I've had no desire to drink for months.

Sunday was a completely lost day as I had the hangover from hell. Felt really poorly all day from the remnants of the virus and the huge amount of wine, and spent it curled up on the sofa under a duvet. Swore 'never again' and by the evening I had recovered well enough and by Monday I was fine again.

Yesterday afternoon I had to go and meet someone in a pub for a work related meeting. and I had a choice of ordering an alcoholic drink or not. I fully intended to order a non-alcoholic drink, walked in and the person I was meeting was drinking a pint and asked me what I wanted and I said 'wine'. That was it - ended up staying in the pub until closing time! I did have the sense to eat a meal and I also had a big jug of water on the table, most of which I drank in between the glasses of wine. I also had coffee and more water when I got home and got to bed before midnight, so my hangover this morning is nowhere near as bad as I deserve it to be.

However, I did get a lift home from someone and am ashamed to admit to a bit of a drunken cuddle/snog with him and I've been single for 9 years!! Turns out he was married so I sent him packing, once I got the key in the door but as you can imagine this morning I am feeling utterly ashamed of myself and mortified.

I know there's nothing I can do about any of it now. It's done and at least I didn't do anything sexual ... but I just can't understand why this has happened after months of being dry and no desire to drink?

I now have to start again.

So pissed off and ashamed at myself.

Morning everyone.

Fontella you are not 'starting again' from scratch, not really. You have all the tools behind you, the experience behind you to move forward strongly. Thank heavens nothing happened that is irrevocable! So, chalk it up to experience.... use it as a reminder of how drinking sucks (it really really sucks!!!!) and regroup. Those months and months of being dry have not been in vain at all... you have so many skills now, it was a slip, that is all. Don't beat yourself up..... I know how you feel though, so low, so disappointed. But you CAN use this experience also in a really positive way. Are you at work today? Drink heaps of water and herbal tea... plan something nice after work to do. If at home (how is your cold, poor thing!) then have a nap. Bath.

Post lots.:) I'm online quite a bit today so will be happy read and respond.

Glad - I just hope things get better for you very very very quickly. You have had so much to deal with. Thinking of you.

Hurricane very envious of your holiday. :) Day by day- as you say.:)About 12 years ago, in one of my early attempts to get sober I had a two week sober all-inclusive holiday at Sharm El Sheikh. It was brilliant!!!! Instead of sitting around in the hot sun drinking and feeling sick I went snorkelling several times, went on boat trips, did trips to the markets, the pyramids. I just threw myself into activities. It really helped so so much. And it ended up being a fabulous holiday. I also took loads of books (Discovered Marian Keyes on that holiday!) and relaxed. If I had been drinking that is pretty much all I would have done.

Things are more or less okay here, I think. I have been having wobbly days a bit lately though, so am just going one day at a time and not thinking too far ahead. Trying to eat more healthily also.....but then I get so bored.

Thank you Nachos so much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your reply. I work from home thank goodness - just got out of a long soak in a radox bath, so I smell lovely (not of stale booze) and starting to put things more into perspective now.

You are right - it's happened, and if anything it's strengthened my resolve to not drink again. It's taught me such a valuable lesson. It's been years since I went out and got drunk - all my drinking was done at home, alone. And more years since I had a doorstep fumble with a bloke.

Mortifying, embarrassing, but yes, it could have been worse and I have to keep that thought in my mind.

Oh a radox bath.... bliss. :)

God years since I have had a doorstep fumble too. DH and I seem to be in a bit of a dry patch where all that is concerned. :( I keep thinking I simply must do something to reinvigorate things, but am too bloody knackered half the time.

Hope you start to feel a bit better. Bloody alcohol. Sneaks up on you.

Bloody alcohol indeed.

Although my 'physical' hangover symptoms are minor in that I've got no headache and I'm not dehydrated etc. the mental ones are awful. I just feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I've got that awful sinking feeling in my stomach, and so wish I could wind the clock back 24 hours.

fontella have a hug and take care of yourself. it was a lapse, chalk it up to ( a horrible) experience, one that wan't any worse than it was, and get back on being sober. You can do it - you know how to! regard this as a slip up and nothing more. And have another hug.

An do something treaty tonight if you can. :) I am a big believer in treats.

I had a lapse at the worst bit (so far :( , more to come) of the bad family situation in Dec. Only a couple of evenings, but even so I recognized the signs and so I decided to get more organised and expand my sober toolkit. As well as our own *Lucy's" course on Udemy, I then signed up to the MoB on Club Soda. I decided paying for help would concentrate my mind on not spending any more money on booze each month.

It has all been very helpful - when I waver I go back to all the videos and links (its all downloadable) and they really really help. I have some on my phone and all on my tablet, so I can listen wherever I am.

I have also kept a very detailed journal of every sober day so far and listed all the things I felt and did, and what I did to avoid drinking. I have been to a few AA meetings but am feeling they are not really for me - although the people there are great :)

I know the info I am getting from these courses is possibly available for free if you look, but for me the payment part has made me more accountable for my actions (as I don't have much spare cash!) AND the amount I am saving by not drinking is way more than they cost :) And the support is amazing , as is this thread :)

Cheesy Stay strong! and post when wobbles strike :) I am here in the daytime but not so much at night now as that is a trigger for wine for me - I am ok to go on MN on the tablet in bed, but late night sitting at the desktop computer was a wine place IYKWIM, so I am not doing it at the moment :)