DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

My best friend projects.. she thought I had a problem because she had 'nights off' and I didn't.
Quite often she would come round and we would have a bottle of wine each and I would have to go to bed. When I got up she would have helped herself to a second bottle and finished it.
For 'nights off' it would usually be two in the week. The rest of the time one+ bottle. per night! But it was me who had the issue. Yes I certainly did have issues. Thank goodness I have addressed those.
My friend still drinks excessively but is supportive of my quitting as it was me who had the problem

Yes yes! The Projecting Drinker! I never realised it was a "thing" until recently! Incredibly annoying!!!

Just had a reminder of why I want to be sober too. My DM can drink too much - not that often (that I see) but when she has more than say 3 glasses she gets really nasty, and sees slights where none were intended. I rang her tonight and she totally turned around something innocent I had said and attacked me. I grew up with that, and the feelings of my childhood - walking on eggshells- came rushing back.

I am NOT going to do that to my child. Never.

cheesy you poor thing. I didn't tend to be a nasty drunk but I would often see slights where none were intended. Fortunately I knew that if I called anyone out on it they would realise I was drunk so I didn't get to say anything about it. Thank fuck for that!
I have a son with SN who has spectacularly lost his shit tonight. Just with himself. When I was drinking I could react quite violently (not physical in a haridan kind of way) on occasion.
It didn't bloody help did it? I'm not going back there. Ever.

On a plus note I bought a bottle of wine tonight for a neighbour who did me a favour. It sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him to return home.
Old drinking me would have either thought about buying a bottle for him and not bought it or thought that as he didn't know he was getting it I would have drunk it

Oops posted too soon. As it turned out I wasn't bothered by its presence and felt happy to have handed it over.
I also have two bottles of cava in the house which I don't care about. No urge. No little voice.
I feel as if a corner has been turned.

Evening lovely sober people. End of another shit day at my place :( Just glad I am dealing with it all, sober. Feeling dreadful in the morning at the prospect of another family drama AND with a hangover would just about finish me off I think! Had some AF wine and am about to go to bed.

glad hope today is a much better day for you. xxx

Thanks dona. :) I was usually a soppy,sentimental drunk, but if the conditions were right could also see slights where none were intended. And I have turned into a raging haridan with poor DH too. But, yes it was usually raging at myself that came out fighting against the most precious people in my life. Ihope you poor DS feels better today too.

Well done on the cava also!

Hope EVERYONE has a great sober day. :)

Well I am 14 days dry now and bizarrely not too bothered about having a drink. I have a corporate thing next week where, maybe, I will have a couple but I am not sure. I may not, I don't know.

I am knackered still though. When does the tiredness go? How much catching up do I still need to do? The insomnia seems to have gone but I am still so tired....

I was tired for about 3 weeks. It surprised me as I expected to feel marvellous on any day that I didn't have a hangover!.
I can't believe I have only just woken up. This is a relatively new thing. In the drinking days it would be 6am.
I kind of miss the extra hours in the day but they certainly weren't productive!

I'm still here, mostly lurking, and mostly not drinking. On Friday night I caved and drunk a bottle of red I had in the house. I was a white wine drinker and don't have any of that around, but I thought I would be OK with red. Anyway, I drunk the wine and stayed up too late because of it, and then felt grotty and tired most of the day yesterday. I felt very cross with myself for drinking, but it also really reminded me of why I've stopped. I have a party in a couple of weekends which I was seriously considering drinking at, but now I'm even more determined to knock that shit on the head. I've got several stopping drinking type books, and lots of healthy eating books, and I'm reading those and feeling inspired.

This thread is helping a lot, thank you, and good luck to you all.

Hi all, still here and still not drinking! I am on day 14 now and really enjoying it. Last Sunday was very difficult as I used to love a Sunday afternoon drink whilst I made the roast but I managed to get through it and then pretty much sailed through the week. I had three social engagements which I was dreading last Sunday but have been absolutely fine, much easier than I was expecting. One thing I really noticed was the gravy last Sunday contained wine, something I have never ever noticed but I could smell it a mile off!

Today my husband was left with the task of putting the lamb in the oven and he decided to do a new recipe that he found on the net, which is a WHITE WINE sauce!!!!!!!! There is a bottle in the fridge but most of it has gone in the lamb cooking dish and I will throw the rest away if it is not used.

I am also very tired but sleeping is getting a lot easier. I was taking two sominex a night for the first 7 days, then cut down to one a night and am falling asleep very quickly and having such nice restful sleep. I so want to carry on to the point of no sominex and a great sleep.

I have a work conference at the end of the month which is basically a huge piss up which I am going to have to dig deep and try and find the will to get past but I think it will be okay, if I have survived the challenges this week then I can survive that.

Downside is that I have not lost any weight even though I am also dieting so I cannot understand that one iota but hey ho..

I'm so angry at myself.

I've been drinking Friday night, Saturday night and tonight.

I've let myself down.

Don't beat yourself up Orange. Tomorrow is another day - get back on it and come and post tomorrow :)

Thanks, Glad.

Tomorrow is another day...

Orange do you know why? any specific triggers?

Recommend lots of water and herbal tea. Take a vitamin tablet. Eat a good healthy breakfast. Schedule something calming and nice for the evening.... something that you want to do and which nourishes you. Please do not beat yourself up, today is another day.

DH and I went to casual supper last night. There was quite a group of good friends and good acquaintances. It is a pretty social and hard drinking group.... every outing we have is booze saturated and there is alot of swapping homemade fruit vodkas and gins etc... booze is often the focus. I had said weeks ago at something similar I was giving up for a year. (I hope this is for life, but this is my way of 'coming out').

Anyway, two of the others both said they had heard me say that and had been inspired. One has been sober for 17 days, one for 9 and they both asked me if I was still committed to a sober 2016 and 'let's do it together'. My jaw dropped.... never thought that what I had said might be of any particular interest to anyone else... certainly did not think anyone would notice, ponder on their own drinking etc. They are serious about it too. My friend who has 17 days said that she was finding it hard, but she noticed that she had become happier and more content in the past few days. We did not have alot of discussion abut it- it was at the end of the evening and people were leaving, but I am thrilled to be honest.

Hope everyone has a great sober day. :)

orange a lot of us here have lapsed. On the positive you are disappointed. In my previous attempts I didn't get disappointed I used the lapse to say 'fuck it' and drink for another few years.
cheesy thats great about your friends. I think we all know that we are overdoing it and your serious change of heart has made them take stock. Its a good thing.

Thanks so much all of you. I have no booze in the house so that's good.

I think I was bored and it was the weekend. Saturday was a bad day as my 13 year old son smashed up his beloved guitar in a fit of temper. I think all the triggers were there - stress, boredom, the fact that it is so ingrained in me that the weekend means I can drink and not face the consequences next day etc.

Welcome Spinach - I understand how you feel. It is all too easy to get into the habit of drinking too much, especially when you are alone. I hadn't had a sober day in months before I found the thread and it has given me to the motivation (despite lapsing over this weekend) to change.

orange I read your post about the guitar. I didn't comment because even though I have the king of smashers residing in my house (12 yrs old) we've 'lost' a laptop and 2 mobile phones. My son its looking like there are SN in the mix so I didn't think it would help. I thought you handled it very well.
One thing I will say is that I am a lot calmer now I am sober and not hungover.
I'm not for one minute suggesting that you aren't calm (I turned into a haridan)

I also meant to say congratulations loubi on your 14 days. That is brilliant.

Morning everyone. Orange I agree that it's fab you've come straight back here and know that you want to keep going. That makes it different to times in the past I (we've all?) been "on the wagon" of some sort but then as soon as I've slipped off it I've brushed the entire wagon under the carpet and pretended there had never been a wagon in the first place.

I do think something shifts when you realise that stopping completely is the answer. For me, I knew there was no going back: I'd never not know that that was what was needed.

I'm feeling crappy this afternoon and umming and aahhing about whether to go back to bed for a couple of hours. I've got a stupid headache behind my eyes and am feeling exhausted for no good reason. Grrr.

Hi all, not posted in a while although I have been reading the thread......I did about 18 days without a drink (had a complete bender on Sunday 27th December) and I felt on top of the world, really positive and literally fizzing with a fantastic feeling of happiness. It was great!!!
We hosted a party at home on Saturday night which had been planned for a couple of months so I decided beforehand that I was going to drink. So because of that I decided that I would also drink on Friday - had one bottle of Red wine and woke up on Saturday morning not feeling particularly great. Saturday night I had my first drink at about 7.30pm, had a good night and I can remember everything up until about 1.30am when everyone had gone. By that time I had done possibly 2 bottles of red and fell asleep on the couch. I don't know what time I made it to bed. Woke up yesterday feeling shit! Completely wasted the day, made some tea and because I was working lates today, last night I got back on the wine. Did a full bottle of red plus one extra glass and I feel totally and utterly shit! I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself and I'm a bit sad and emotional right now to be honest and I feel like such a stupid bitch.... but I'm trying to be kind to myself. I also know that the only way now is not to live in the past but in the present and look towards a future alcohol free. So, back on the wagon I go.....

Cheesy - that's absolutely fantastic news about your friends and I do think we "egg each other on" amongst our friends or "normalize" some of these things as everyone else is doing it so it must be okay! This happened a bit when I gave up smoking last year, I was BY FAR the worst smoker in our group, I was smoking 30-40 cigarettes a day - far more than anyone else in the group. When I gave up it really shocked a lot of people and has really made them all have a rethink, I mean if Loubi can give them up then ANYONE can give them up.

Whilst I knew I had my own issues with drink and I have followed these threads for many years, I was finally pushed to have a rethink due to a friend of mine who also re-visited her relationship with Alcohol and had a dry December. It really made me think that if she thought she had an issue then I should look to myself....

Thanks so much Dona for the acknowledgement - I am very pleased but would be happier if I had got to your stage :)

Aww thanks but strictly speaking I am only day 18! A bit of Christmas drinking it sounds crap to say I didn't really enjoy it but I was mindful of the fact that I couldn't/shouldn't get 'drunk' so the drinking just sparked negative feelings.

Day 13 here.

Just posting and dashing - but wanted to say I'm still around.

Orange and Hurricane well done both on coming back here after your wobbles. It's not easy and we have all been there. I can't imagine getting to 18 days - last time I did that long a stint was when I was pregnant (8 years ago ).

I would attempt to post some word of wisdom but I think everyone else here is far more experienced than I am!!

One quick thing though - I found a post on a site called Sober Recovery - it's called "Normal drinkers don't..." and is a brilliant, sobering (literally) and thought-provoking read. Everyone on here might find it helpful.