DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Thanks Dona - sorry to hear about the laptop, phones etc. It is very upsetting when that happens. My late sister had some SN and similar "meltdowns" were a characteristic.

*Hurricane" - I know that feeling so well! I got very, very drunk on NYE. After that, I joined this thread and it has really helped me.

Like you, I drank over the weekend. The weekend is a difficult time for problem drinkers. It is certainly a big trigger for me.

Hello all especially all the lovely new people :) (sorry but too hard to do name checks on my tiny phone!)

If any of you had a slip get back on the sober wagon and in here asap - I am the queen of slips :( (NOT said in a proud way :( ) but seem to have got a handle on it this time around ? Maybe adding AA and self hypnosis and exercise to my sober toolkit has helped me this time? Anyway something seems to be working better this time around - Day 32 today :)

Dona I sympathise re the child meltdowns and the tech wrecking stuff - I have that here as well, also wall and door kicking in :( Along with lots of other quite violent stuff. It is particularly bad at the moment and extended family is also giving me all sorts of extra difficulties BUT I HAVE NOT HAD A DRINK! ( sorry about the shouting but I am silly pleased with myself so wanted to shout it out :) )

Off to eat and watch Only Connect final :)

Glad - this thread has been an enormous help to me. I beat the wine witch tonight, thank god.

Looking forward to waking up tomorrow with a clear head and clean conscience. No more waking in the small hours feeling dehydrated, remorseful and frightened that nothing will ever get better.

Lots of extra shifts with work so not about much but wanted to say
Cheesy that's awesome news re your friends joining you!
Glad bloody well done
Orange & Hurricane you didn't let a lapse become a collapse so onwards! :)

Thank you to all of you for your kind words, I'm so grateful to have found this thread. Orange weekends are the danger time for me. I don't drink midweek at all so I haven't achieved anything by not drinking Monday to Thursday unlike lots of amazing people on here, as I never have drunk then. I suppose that means that I can control it if I really want to enough???
I drank at the weekend just gone as it was almost as if I felt I should do because we were hosting a house party on Saturday....and not because I really wanted to. Why on earth I also drank Friday and Sunday, I really don't know. I wouldn't mind but the two weekends prior I did not drink and it didn't bother me one bit. It's as if I'm convinced I must be missing out on something....and we all know that is total bollocks.

Glad, please will you post a link to the self hypnosis??? I fancy having a go at that. Ta xx
Well done to everyone just for being on here in the first place.

Hurricane - to be honest, I think it's not just how much you drink but why you drink. It creeps up on you. I went from having a couple of glasses two or three times a week to a bottle of wine on a nightly basis. I honestly can't remember when the problem got so bad - probably in the last few years.

Up until now, I hadn't had a single night without wine for months and months. Even then, it was only the odd night when I wouldn't drink. Apart from this weekend, this is the longest I have been sober in years.

If you are worried about your drinking, then you are in a good place to change your habits before they get worse.

Thanks Orange, I know I am in the right place for sure. I think I drink because I'm frightened of missing out.....don't quite know what I think I'll be missing??? Because all its made me do is miss out on so many things I'd rather be doing, but end up not being able to because of raging hangovers....

For everyone, this is the really helpful self hypnosis link

itunes itunes.apple.com/us/app/stop-drinking-andrew-johnson/id365566955?mt=8

Android play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.hivebrain.andrewjohnson.drinking&hl=en

Hurricane - you're definitely in the right place. I think everyone who thinks about stopping drinking has FOMO; we're so conditioned to think that we can't have fun without drinking that frankly we'd be unusual if we didn't think that.

I had it for so long that I couldn't even begin to think about stopping, I mean wouldn't even attempt dry january because that would have been too hard and then I would have failed and then that would mean something I didn't want to face.

It's really hard to convince people of this when you have a bit of time under your belt, but I really really really don't think I'm missing out by not drinking. I do sometimes wish I was a "normie", but I know I'm not, and I know I'll never be able to nonchalantly sit with a glass of wine by my side and genuinely take it or leave it.

I also enjoyed this article on Hip Sobriety about fears we all have about sobriety.

A friend who I confided in at the weekend also confided back that she feels out of control around alcohol and is going to join me at AA this week. I had no idea she felt so out of control; :( But am so glad she is joining me as she really sounds at a low point :( :)

Loved that link teapot ! X

The sense of remorse is just horrendous. I got so pissed at New Year that I can't remember getting home. Hell, I can't even remember the two hours before that.

The next day, I just felt so ill

Brilliant link Teapot.

Thanks so much for that link, teapot. I love her philosophy!

Just popping in to say well done everyone. I've had more dry days this year than drunk - I wouldn't have made it without your support.

I've shaken up my evening routine and listen to the Andrrw Johnson podcast every night. I can't remember the last time I felt this good.
I'm not posting much as I used to drink and look at my phone. So, I put my phone away and drink tea most nights.

Gosh isn't everyone doing so well?? Whay hay keep going everyone

I have a tough one coming up. I originally decided to do Dry January but there was a part of me that wanted to try for 100 days and I still want to do that but have not fully committed that to my brain as of yet. I didn't start until 4th Jan so I am going to go until the 4th Feb at least to get to the end of my first challenge. I am not too daunted by that but also doing it with a friend who is definitely going to drink from Feb 4th and is making no bones about that.

My tough one - a week in the US on business which is happening a few days after the 4th Feb. The evening's aren't too bad but its the flights, I like nothing more than a glass or three of fizz in the business lounge, followed by complimentary fizz and wine on the flight watching a few movies etc. More importantly I also have some on the night flight home to ensure I have a good nights sleep. It is 3 weeks away but already I am uhhmming and ahhing about what to do....

I guess I shouldn't even worry about it now, it is weeks ago but just goes to show the stronghold this has on us....

Weeks AWAY....

Glad thankyou for the hypnosis link

Teapot, you have just described exactly how I have felt in the past and been feeling about the FOMO!! I'm glad that I did almost 3 weeks off the wine up until this weekend just gone, as I felt absolutely fantastic. My general mood was amazing, I was fizzing with excitement even though I didn't know what I was excited about.....but I was still excited anyway. What a high.....and I want to feel like that more than I want to feel shit off the wine...I felt shit all weekend and yesterday..
Thanks for your link too

It's a brilliant feeling Hurricane - and it won't be long before you're feeling it again. Stopping drinking is the best thing I've ever done. I feel as though my life has changed direction and I'm on course for somewhere much better than I was before.

Immerse yourself as much as possible in all the literature that backs up the Hip Sobriety message - she's so right in that it doesn't take willpower, it's about reframing what you think about alcohol and then choosing to remove it from your life. The resounding message over and over from those who have cut it out is that life becomes immeasurably better. As the old saying goes "I really regret getting sober. Said nobody, ever."...

Teapot it's interesting what you say about giving up not needing willpower. I listened to the Radio 4 clip that Lucy posted last week and David Yelland and AA Gill who are both recovering alcoholics said exactly the same. In actual fact they said it does take enormous will power to carry on drinking....food for thought...

hurricane I'm starting to think I'm at the stage where it would take a herculean effort to drink. I think I was broken.
I posted a few pages about the awful awful hangovers. A clear warning in my book.
Even my controlled sipping (aka lapse) left me feeling like shit.
I've got a few events coming up this year including a hen do that will likely involve booze. I don't even worry about my resolve being tested. At this stage I would rather not go at all unfortunately I have paid quite a bit out already.

Great conversation ladies :)
Glad sorry to hear your friend is struggling but isn't it great that you can help her and then moving forward you can support each other
Teapot Holly is just so cool isn't she?
I agree it doesn't take will power but I still have tussle's with my inner addict when I'm around lots of people drinking who has a harrumph and pouts alot but soon pipes down these days

X-post dona maybe by the time the hen do comes round you'll feel okay about going and not drinking?

Donaj that's encouraging, thank-you. Re the Hen night, I bet you'd enjoy it sober but I totally get what you mean by not wanting to go xx

Ugh I've just massively shouted at my children after about the 459th excuse to come out of their bedroom and ask me for something (I'm still hungry, I'm thirsty, can I borrow your waste bin, I've got an important question to ask you , etc etc). I didn't realise my lodger was at home but he must have heard me scream like a harridan... no sober serenity here tonight!

Lucy yes I love a bit of Holly although find the podcasts really annoying. I really like the way she repackages all the different ideas about sobriety into her perspective with a Californian yoga slant thrown in But there are some great blog articles on her site. Re. the FOMO thing, she wrote recently about a trip she'd had in Rome, and of an evening she had with a guy she really liked at the end of an amazing week together where they'd stomped around Rome looking at all the art, eaten incredible food, had loads of adventures and romance, and on this last night he broached her sobriety and asked her "so what do you do to have fun?". She was like "er, we've been having fun all week..." and he said "no, but you know... if you don't drink, how do you have fun..." In this mad world we live in, you could be metaphorically sky-diving your way through life seven days a week and people would still be perplexed as to how you let your hair down without the dreaded booze. Shock horror - you get to have real proper fun without it!