DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Thanks Lucy; I hadn't caught it yesterday so watched it tonight. I thought it was good although slightly annoying to have some of the same characters I'd seen before on the 'recovery orchestra' programme a few months back. I also wished they'd stop showing extreme close ups of booze in between the pieces to camera..!

Alastrante I had the same realisation. And am slowly learning that the best way to unwind at the end of the day is not... by shoving a poison down our necks. Baths, chats to good friends on the phone, nice food, a bit of Netflix... all works really well and there's no big fat payback the next morning.

Am slowly getting organised and feeling good about stuff, in a bit of a lo-fi kind of way, no big January gestures or fitness plan, but the low level depression is lifting a bit. My big project for the first half of this year is to get more regular income coming in.

Teapot - thought the same about people from Addicts Orchestra appearing.

I wish it hadn't been just people talking...

Morning all! Seeing as their was a discussion yesterday about apps thought I would share today's blog post - which is about that very thing! You can read it here :)

Teapot you're welcome :)
Alastrante lo-fi - I like that!

Thanks Lucy x

How nice to do a school run in black ice without the anxiety of crashing and being breathalysed....
I never drank past 10pm when driving but boy did I pack it in before...
another very good reason to knock that shite on the head.

I also think it would be good to do a programme about the people who hadn't necessarily lost everything or were living in a hostel before deciding to stop. When you're featuring people who have almost always had a low rock bottom (as that programme did - having your kids taken away, being homeless, being hospitalised, losing jobs over alcohol) it can reinforce the already strong belief in society that it's only those "other" types of drinkers that need to stop, and that anything less than that is okay, let's keep trundling on with drinking shall we, we're not that bad...

Morning all!

I agree TeapotDictator. Problem drinking and alcoholism doesn't mean you're sitting in the park, swigging from a paper bag. Or in and out of rehab. It's a dangerous myth to perpetrate.

All good here, still in my happy pink bubble! I've been throwing out more stuff, goodness it's cathartic. And reading properly, taking it all in. My concentration was shot when I was drinking! I am however, no thinner!

We should do our own programme. I'm only half joking. There are thousands of us who either are (or used to) using wine or alcohol to numb the stresses of life or numb the tedium of parenthood. Apologies for saying I find motherhood tedious but I did (not so much now)
There is also more to getting dry than rehab too. It would be great if a programme could highlight what exactly is available out there in the way of support.
i can say one thing for certain is that if it wasn't for this thread I'd still be drinking.
Thank you all.
marry I've finally got off my arse and I'm blitzing my house. It feels fantastic!

I loved that documentary so much. Just loved it. :) Thing is..... I really could identify with every word. I have not seen the addicts orchestra though, so the faces (except for Lucy Rocca's) were all new to me. Loved it. I was so moved by it.

I agree though it does not talk so much about the options out there.

Hi everyone. Sorry for dipping in and out of the thread. I am trying to catch up when I can.

Hi Cheesy, hope life is getting simpler X X X

Donajmena I do wish there was a program about our/my kind of drinking. Now that I've stopped I can see there are at least half a dozen school mums who I suspect are drinking very very heavily, but because it's described as bookclub, or netball AGM etc it's ok...

I had a really horrid time last night with yet more serious family stuff and I realised I started drinking to excess and then uncontrollably to blot out the thought of bad stuff that happened to me in the past. I then progressed to drinking to blot out bad stuff in the present. Then more recently was blotting out bad stuff AND not actually dealing with it at all. The last few weeks I have actually been sorting out things (as best I can given they are not my issues) rather than just getting pissed.

Sorry you're having a hard time of it. I read somewhere, if you want to know why you're drinking, stop drinking. The stuff that's popped up in the 5 weeks of sobriety has been enough for me to stick with the ADs I didn't want to take, and book some counselling. Gladistopped, hope you can find a way through X X X X X

glad I'm sorry you are having a shit time of it.
marry there are a lot of mums/women I know who drink excessively frequently. Its all over Facebook #drunk #hungover etc etc. It made me feel better at the time because we were all at it. Except we weren't all at it. I found that I gravitated towards the drinkers or only noticed the hungover ones.
Wine is just too civilised. Its still a great laugh to be hungover. Its acceptable to get hammered on a night out.
Its just so wrong. Having found it relatively easy to be sober this time around I feel so much regret at all those wasted years, wasted money when we really needed it for other things. But I do feel that I DID try before. Maybe I didn't have the right support but probably I just didn't think I could possibly enjoy sobriety.
We are so so lucky and when someone posts #hungover I am just going to count my blessings.

Glad - sorry to hear that

I agree that a lot of excessive drinking amongst women is minimised as "wine o'clock" - a necessary and acceptable reward for being a mum and/or holding down a demanding job etc.

I read an interesting article about alcoholics. It said that a lot of alcoholics make their lives a stressful as possible or seem as stressful as possible in order to justify their drinking. That definitely strikes a chord with me.

Glad sorry to hear that lovely You are doing GREAT :)
I liked that Lucy was involved in that documentary as she hadn't lost it all and was the most like me daily bottle of+ wine o'clock imbiber .... My hashtag would have been permanently hungover/drunk

Yes wine o'clock hmmm. Thanks for the good wishes. Problems will not be helped by me getting pissed. So I won't :) .Watched doc now. Powerful stuff!

Hi Lucy thanks for posting that link, great dry Friday night viewing ; )

You're welcome misscookie :)

Glad hope things get better soon. .

I agree about 'wine o'clock' and mummy time. Apparently there is even a brand of wine in the US called 'Mummy Juice'.

Hope everyone is fine.

Okay here..... ILs continue to be unwell, but plans are slowly coming together. Hadron thanks for your advice on that. Will PM you as well.

Wonderful thing about being DRY..... while DH is devastated and drinking (not too much, but a few glasses) wine every night I am able to be sober for unexpected trips to hospital. I feel so happy in myself that I can be there in that way for him. Otherwise I would be smashed and we would have to taxi it. It is a big big thing. A good thing.

So true about the lower level of alcoholic, I know lots of them. One girl used to basically slag me off behind my back about my drinking to everyone who would listen. To my face she'd make snide, sarcastic remarks, which would happen every time she'd see me. It was all about 2 incidents where I got drunk 6 and 5 years ago - YES that long and she just couldn't let it go. Even at my brother in laws funeral she was making the remarks. Now I realise it is because not only is she an alcoholic herself, so is her mother and her in laws and her husband. They have a different tolerance to alcohol and don't go nuts like me, but they abuse alcohol. It's taken me to be completely sober to see the truth, that she is an alcoholic and is surrounded by alcoholism and uses me as a scape goat to take any attention away from her. Even though I have fallen out with this woman - I also feel sorry for her, she has 4 kids and must suffer quite a few hang overs.
It's dangerous being this kind of drunk as it often just goes completely un detected.

The C5 documentary was great, however there does need to be a programme on lower level alcoholics, who manage to maintain their jobs/family life etc but also live life suffering with alcoholism.
I am soo glad I've given up and so grateful my life has gone in the right direction.
I found I'm very habitual with my drinking and Friday nights are wobble nights. Have a great day everyone.

Your post resonates with me misscookie. I had a 'friend' who is very similar. The thing about my drinking- all done privately. To outsiders i seemed an enthusiastic social drinker, but never drunk.... But this 'friend' counts what everyone has when they drink then gossips about it afterwards. She never seemed to 'get' that when she was bitching about so and so having half a bottle of wine, it was when she was actually with them drinking the OTHER half. She has a problem, and was projecting, I finally realised. All her fb posts are about being drunk/hungover/missing work, 'isn't it funny I had to ring in sick again' etc. But that approach of alcohol is SO normalised in society...... being unable to function at work is just the sign of a good weekend. I am just starting to realise how 'normal' dysfunctional drinking is.

Hey CheesyNachos yes - with this 'friend' it just got to the point where enough was enough. It was a bit like a slow simmer coming to the boil and I'd just had enough of the remarks, where she was trying to be funny, but her comments were designed to make me feel bad - which they did and she ruined quite a few night outs for me. Anyway - it's in the past now - but 5/6 years of it did leave a scar. Forgive, forget and move on - live in the future!

I agree that a programme about people who are outwardly ok, but not on the inside and trying to cope by drinking, would be good. Mostly at home I guess due to family responsibilities. Seem ok at work and when out with people (mostly!) but at home, after all the jobs have been done and the children are in bed? Drinking. Sometimes to excess.