I'm pregnant by abusive ex.

[Itsacoldnightday]

Hey everyone,

I've just joined on Mumsnet.

I was in an intense relationship with DD's dad for 7 years, he was very abusive and wasn't really there for DD. She has special needs.

An incident happend which made me leave DD's dad for good. It has now been two months and I'm now staying with a family friend.

But recently l have been feeling sick. I have now just found out that I'm pregnant .

I was on the pill and took it correctly, I can't understand how this can happen.

But I don't know what to do I feel numb. I've always been the person that couldn't go through with an abortion. But I'm so lost. I don't want to have this baby for selfish reasons ( e.g. DD will have a new brother or sister, we can be just the three of us and do want to have this baby). But apart of me knows what will happen if I go through the pregnancy (eg. Social services being involved again, I wil get depressed, Not giving much attention to DD's special needs).

I know I would feel guilty if I go through an abortion, what happens if I can't ever have kids. I'm now looking at other couples with young kids and I'm envious of them.

My head is all over the place, I'm
Not even making sense.

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. For what it's worth, I do think it's objectively the best thing for you to terminate the pregnancy - but only if you don't then beat yourself up about it every day. Remember who the villain is in this scenario - it's not you. You have every right to improve the quality of life of you and your dd. Whatever you do, take good care of yourself, and try to find every positive. Make a list and stick it to the fridge if it helps.