DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

3phase that sounds wonderful it very intensive with loads of pressure to drink! But you've done a month! How do you feel physically? Do you go to AA?

I've got a weekend with my traditionally very boozy girlfriends, one of whom is having a very hard time of it. I plan to go to an AA meeting before I go so it's fresh in my mind.

It's only day 6 for me, but my skin is defo more even in tone, I don't feel bloated and these jeans I'm wearing were always a bit tight around the middle, now fit as they should.

I couldn't get to sleep last night till after 1am but I woke up fine this morning, calmer and clearer.

Happy Monday everyone.

Sirenetta 100 days is fantastic!

I feel good thanks Marry

I had a rough start with a poorly baby and then a poorly me but I feel good physically now. I'm definitely less bloated and I weigh a bit less. It could be a lot less if I did more exercise and stopped eating biscuits! We're super busy atm and I don't see myself making many changes on that front before the NY but I have big plans for January!

The best thing is how much less anxious and ashamed I feel. I used to wake up really hating myself and I feel increasingly OK in my own skin which is very exciting for me.

I haven't gone to AA - we live quite rurally and I have for no good reason visions of the meetings being a big group really old men. The anonymity aspect worries a bit too - living in a relatively small community. I'm a mother to four small children and I can do without people whispering about me being an alcoholic... I have thought about driving to our nearest city to try one out and again, it's something I might do in 2016.

Well done on Day 6. And Happy Monday!

Oooh Marry I just posted on your thread to see how you are. And now I see! Well done love, you're doing brilliantly.

I was invited here by donajimena - I'm an addict, in recovery for 45 days. I did start a drug addiction thread when I stopped, but it hasn't really taken off, so here I am. All the same crap really, isn't it...

I am going to read this thread from the beginning. Well done to everyone who is sober, for however long

NotTheSpice I've dabbled with drugs too - benzos to take the edge off my alcohol nerves, Zs to sleep and on a couple of bad days, opiates. It's hard! X X X

Yes, opiates is one of my delights too. Solpadeine Max to be precise. Along with weed, pills, coke, poppers, and for the last year, legal highs. Which has nearly killed me. Every day gets easier, I absolutely promise. Half the problems come from finding out about yourself when you're not pissed or stoned - that's what you've been covering up. The honesty is difficult, but worth it xx

3phase congratulations on 28 days! I'm right there with you. 28 days for me too.
sirnetta 100 days is a fantastic achievement.
seabiscotti it does sound like you have had a huge shift in your thinking. Did you think it was pointless drinking gingerly?
I'm sorry if I am projecting but the shift I have had is that unless I want to get blasted drunk then I won't bother with one or two.
Luckily (for now) I don't want to get blasted drunk. So I'm staying sober.

Welcome to spice I'm glad you popped in. It is all the same really. This is such a great place especially if you have a wobble.

spice I'm a coke fiend too. Generally I have to drink first. Drinking is the gateway drug. And actually, I hadn't given it much thought but when Marry mentioned benzos to take the edge off her alcohol nerves, it reminded me I'd been taking lorazepam almost daily until I stopped drinking. I was getting it from a private GP for 'anxiety' but I haven't needed it since I gave up downing a bottle of wine most evenings.

Dona congrats on your 28 days too! I'm the same - no real desire to drink sensibly, what I want to do is get shitfaced. It was the same when I was pregnant - I didn't miss drinking, I missed getting wasted.

:) Keep falling off thread!
Ex booze and drug hound here too Nothing to report here - out for cuzza tomorrow night and driving so no worries there. Hope you're all enjoying the sober advent calendar

morning all.

Day 1 for me. GOD. I am not sure why I do this to myself... i can go for weeks and weeks and be bright and positive and then I push the fuckit button. Pushed it Sunday.

I'm bloody counting days now though. I never do, and I want to see them add up.

You and me both cheesy.

I keep promising myself I will get back on the thread when I get up to a week. But after 3 or 4 days I have a 'day off', then the day off lasts 3 or 4 days.

I am going to try the 'one day at a time' strategy. I will not have a drink today. There, I've said it so I have to stick to it.

Well done to everyone who is still going strong. I'm off to have a peek at Lucy's sober calendar.

Morning!

Cheesy what happened? What was the trigger? Hope you're alright!

Oh bugger it, Cheesy and Bubblebath. You said on Sunday, Cheesy, that you woke up itching for a drink and that you hadn't felt like that for a long time.

I listened to a Bubble Hour episode recently that was about relapsing and one of the women (who relapsed after a long time sober) was saying that a relapse has quite a long lead-in; it's more than just the final fuckit moment when we pick up the glass. She described how she had failed to notice the signs, she had taken on too much, got overwhelmed and too busy, and was getting into the situation where she "needed" a drink.

I'll see if I can find a link to it in a mo.

At this time of year, with extra social events, family expectations, extra guests, hyped-up children with their concerts and parties to go to, shopping and wrapping (i.e. all that bloody wifework that ramps up at Christmas) we need to be really kind to ourselves. Say "No" more. Take time out to do things that make us happy. Leave some things out; i'm not doing any Christmas cards, for instance. Treat ourselves to and .

This Bubble Hour podcast is the one I was referring to.

It is really good. Talks about internal and external triggers. Loads of tips and empathy.

umpteen did you just give me permission not to do Christmas cards? I'm staring at a pile of 100 waiting to be written. I have two children off school sick and 3 separate TO DO lists with not very much checked off.

There's no sell by date on Christmas cards right? I can just stick them in the cupboard for next year....?

cheesy and Bubblebath

Hi everyone, day 10 for me and feeling ok - so much to do over the next week and a few things that I'm pretty anxious about, however feeling better for having a clear head to deal with the angst to be honest.

Am enjoying running without a fuzzy head though not sure I'm any faster - hoping that staying sober will mean my running will become easier, I might try and enter some races next year as a bit of motivation.

3phase 100 cards sounds a lot - you have my permission not to do them!

Have Allen Carr's book to read today - sounds interesting..

Yes, 3phase, you don't have to do Christmas cards! Keep them till next year or give them away right now. One year I ran out of time to do them all; i think i got to "M" in the address book and then stopped. Another year I posted them all on Christmas Eve . Last year I didn't do them at all and NOTHING HAPPENED! Though my elderly father did ask in a very worried voice what I would do about the people who had sent me a card and I said that they wouldn't notice.

Umpteen I'm going to listen to that podcast this afternoon. I never thought of relapse as anything other than a single moment. Thankyou.

Hi everyone.
Thanks for the understanding. :) I am not sure what the trigger was... on Sunday i felt like I could scratch my own skin off I was so tense, angry etc. Thanks umpteen for the Bubble hour link. :) I am stressed right now (always) just too much to do, and I am eating like mad, and I am just so bloody fat right now and I had a very little thought in my head 'well, you were skinny(ier) when you were drinking', and I felt like i was going a bit mad. Climbing the walls. God yes 'wifework'. Actually, I am refusing to do Christmas cards this year except for a few people..... mainly those who would be upset/hurt if it was forgotten.

And I am leaping out of my skin today too. My DS is also really struggling right now. He is just starting to twig I think that his ASD makes him a bit different from his classmates.... there is a little bit of excluding him going on right now etc. (He is only 5 and was just destroyed because he was not invited to a party. To be honest.... I was so surprised he even noticed because usually he is in his own bubble. ) I feel so ANGRY with myself because my son deserves for me to be present and engaged with him all the time, and I am self sabotaging like this. Part of it is that I have no time for me.... I am working, looking after the family, I have no downtime. Dh encourages me to do things for myself, no issues there, but I literally seem to have no time. Drinking is like an escape... separates me from the world enough for me to just do through the motions, without emotion, if you know what I mean. It's like a holiday. But of course it makes everything worse. Not least my self esteem.

[bangs head]

Hi everyone, after a few months lurking I would really like to join if you'll have me.

I'm a problem drinker, my off switch is faulty. I can go several weeks without drinking and then I'll typically binge. I am capable of just having one or two sometimes but most of the time I'll put away around 10-20 units a day for 2-3 days. The worst thing is the reason I initially joined Mumsnet was because DH and I are trying to conceive it's been over 2 years now and AF arriving is a HUGE trigger. I need to get used to seeing AF as alcohol free i.e. positive rather than aunt flo - negative. Every month I think this could be the last time I can have a drink for a long time so I should make the most of it. Nearly all of my friends are pretty boozy, their off switches seem to work much better than mine though. Several have conceived without cutting back. I cut back and it doesn't happen and then wine is my crutch.

This most recent binge came after having one glass of wine in 13 days. On Sunday I put 4 mini bottles of wine in the shopping trolley. DH queried it and I said I was only planning to have 2 so he hid the other 2. He's done this before and I've found them but I can't find them this time. I drank my 2 mini bottles over the course of Sunday evening and then yesterday had the day off to go Christmas shopping. I stopped for some lunch and saw some people drinking wine and decided I deserved a glass (large!) tbh I'd had the thought in my mind all morning. I then made a few questionable purchases while on the wine buzz and then found myself in the M & S booze aisle. DH was late home last night and I was actually pleased cos I could pop out to the shop to pick up more wine I've ended up calling in sick to work today and am rewatching a programme I watched last night but couldn't remember what happened.

Cheesy, what you said about the 'fuck it button' really resonates. I wish there was something else that would have the same/similar effect or I could just ignore it.

Aww cheesy you sound so stressed!
I feel a bit bad posting as I am full of joie de vive but even I recently as last week I had a massive craving.
Last night I had a late shower 1030 pm and as I was in there I realised for the first time in the 28 days that I hadn't thought about alcohol all evening. At all. I hadn't thought about drinking or not drinking. I just did whatever normal (I mean that tongue in cheek) do without obsessing.
I know I will have my struggles ahead.
Strength to all of you getting back on the horse!

warghhh it took about 14 days for me to feel more energy so you are nearly there. Ive read (I think) that your body misses the sugar so that's why you don't feel too hot in the early days.

dona enjoy your joie de vive without ANY guilt at all! :) I have had plenty of pink cloud days, and will again also.

I am okay really. I am doing that old overthinking thing. I need to get out of my own head.

Welcome dancing. You sound pretty stressed too. It is good to have you join us. :) What program? Actually, taking a day off sounds like a good plan.