DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

[bubblebathandcandles]

oh, almost forgot, how are you feeling today sea?

[Seabiscotti]

Bless you Bubbles. Still not great, just moved from bed to sofa. I also had my first drinking dream last night. What are you planning on doing with your me time?

Hello to everyone, good to see such positivity.
Have a great day.

[CheesyNachos]

Morning everyone. To begin with a soppy note..... thanks everyone for being on this thread and sharing. I get so much out of it, and really value each and every one of you. [sniffle]

bam how are you?

Sea hope you are very better very soon.

Teapot your evening sounded like hell on wheels!

bubble - a day to yourself. Well deserved. :)

Hey Hadron and Fartemis [waves]

All okay here. Have a work deadline for tomorrow so am aiming to work my butt off today and get to the gym tonight if poss. That's another thing I like about being sober....not dragging myself through each and every day. It's all good.

[BamBam21]

Hi everyone. I am still here and still dry! So this is day 2 for me (and DP).

Teapot well done for staying strong during such a stressful evening. Your post really resonated with me. Last night was relatively easy, because DS1 was at my mum's again, so it was a straightforward case of getting DS2 organised and off to bed, and then having dinner with DP. When DS1 is here, it's a different story. He is nearly 12, and the teen hormones seem to be kicking in, so he has huge strops about nothing, and is a real drama queen at times. DS2 is only 3, and they adore each other, but then they start fighting, and the sheer noise is awful. I'm a real introvert and, whilst I love my family, I need quiet time to myself. I must watch that as a trigger, especially during these school holidays.

Hope you are on the mend sea.

to everyone else.

[Lucy2610]

Found you
:)
BamBam keep on keeping on missus
sea hope you're feeling better
teapot kudos missus for surviving that
So I had a bit of a hiccup last night. I drank booze - accidentally mind you ...... Freaked myself right out!! Was at jewellery and crystal party at my sisters. She had me acting as waitress so was busy pouring and handing everyone else pink fizz (which was completely unbothered by btw). I had an elderflower fizz but somehow glasses got mixed up and I ended up taking a swig of fizz. Knew the minute I swallowed but was too late by then. Tasted vile but for a split second my brain said 'oh well may as well finish it .......'. Didn't obvs, drank elderflower and munched on crisps to try and get rid of taste in mouth. Then swapped to herbal tea. Was really acidic in my mouth and then in my guts and could feel it go to my head. Jeepers - wasn't expecting that!! Fine today in fact seems a bit surreal now.

[gladistopped]

Eeek lucy! Well done for not giving in to the Wolfie voice in your head though! Not sure I could do that tbh and a gold star for you.

[CheesyNachos]

Hi all...

Bam loved your happy post yesterday! How are you doing?

Lucy that would properly freak me out!!!!!

Hope everyone is well and fine today. Had parent teacher interviews yesterday. (For those who don't know, DS has been recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum.). I expected to leave feeling weepy and sad, but his new teacher (a lovely, warm, very competent and experienced teacher) said although he is way behind on everything he is doing just fine. :) So am very happy.

Have a work deadline today then hope to get to the gym tonight. DH is being very supportive of my gym work and is doing the school run and so on when he is not travelling. He said to me 'Careful you don't become addicted to the gym'. I gestured to my rather large backside and commented 'Do I look as if I am addicted to the gym?!'

It's all good.

Hope everyone has a happy day.

[essexgirl999]

I just wanted to share something with everyone to show that living without alcohol is very possible and better than living with it. I haven't had a drink for coming up to 8 years. When I stop and think about that I find it utterly amazing. Before I stopped drinking I was a mess. My body was starting to rebel against the booze - I had diarrhoea every day (with yellow poo!!) and was getting gastric pain too. I looked crap, was always tired and always wanting a drink.
I was 40. At that point I couldn't ever imagine a day (let alone any longer) without drinking. How would I cope with bad days? what if I'm angry about something, what then? what about when I'm sad? Or happy and need to celebrate? Any excuse. Not drinking was UNTHINKABLE.
Well 8 years on from drinking I can confirm that YES, It is more than possible to exist without alcohol. I am in control of my life. I no longer get the shits every day. I sleep properly (with the odd sleepless night which we all have), I eat properly and I never have to worry about being breathalysed in my car.
In the last 8 years I have been through a long term relationship breakdown/breakup, filing a constructive dismissal case against a former employer with the industrial tribunal, a job change, selling one house and buying another, my father having a brain aneurysm and he and my mum becoming more dependant on me for support, my daughter going to university and loads of other big things.....and none of these things have made me pick up a drink and I have been sober through the lot and have had to feel every feeling I have had.
I don't have a magic wand. I don't have all the answers but I just wanted to let everyone know that it IS possible to live a happy, contented and full life without alcohol. I very rarely even think about drinking now. It's just not part of my life any more.
For all of you who are struggling with this horrible illness I hope this has given you some hope. Good luck and I'm happy to help in any way I can.
xxx

[essexgirl999]

I just wanted to share something with everyone to show that living without alcohol is very possible and better than living with it. I haven't had a drink for coming up to 8 years. When I stop and think about that I find it utterly amazing. Before I stopped drinking I was a mess. My body was starting to rebel against the booze - I had diarrhoea every day (with yellow poo!!) and was getting gastric pain too. I looked crap, was always tired and always wanting a drink.
I was 40. At that point I couldn't ever imagine a day (let alone any longer) without drinking. How would I cope with bad days? what if I'm angry about something, what then? what about when I'm sad? Or happy and need to celebrate? Any excuse. Not drinking was UNTHINKABLE.
Well 8 years on from drinking I can confirm that YES, It is more than possible to exist without alcohol. I am in control of my life. I no longer get the shits every day. I sleep properly (with the odd sleepless night which we all have), I eat properly and I never have to worry about being breathalysed in my car.
In the last 8 years I have been through a long term relationship breakdown/breakup, filing a constructive dismissal case against a former employer with the industrial tribunal, a job change, selling one house and buying another, my father having a brain aneurysm and he and my mum becoming more dependant on me for support, my daughter going to university and loads of other big things.....and none of these things have made me pick up a drink and I have been sober through the lot and have had to feel every feeling I have had.
I don't have a magic wand. I don't have all the answers but I just wanted to let everyone know that it IS possible to live a happy, contented and full life without alcohol. I very rarely even think about drinking now. It's just not part of my life any more.
For all of you who are struggling with this horrible illness I hope this has given you some hope. Good luck and I'm happy to help in any way I can.

[BamBam21]

Wow Essex, thank you for sharing that. I am right at the start of my sober journey, and that is very inspiring.

cheesy glad that parent's evening went well. I think it's a stressful thing even at the best of times! The gym will be helping you get rid of lots of stress too I suppose, and think how foxy you will look by Christmas!

Day 3 for me! Last night was very hard. DS1 has some emotional problems, due to his dad (my exH, who he no longer sees), and goes to a therapist periodically. He was there on Monday, and it's always hard for a few days after. On top of the usual pre-teen strops, he gets quite tearful and angry. Things were reaching boiling point, but instead of losing the plot I took him for a wee short walk and left DS2 with DP. It seemed to help him, and it helped me to cool down too. Normally I would have got blitzed.

Can I share a dream I had last night? I am a bit woo in general, but I feel this dream was telling me something. I was in one of the beautiful old cloisters at my old university, and there was a sort of Christmas fayre on. I was wandering round the stalls with DS1, when I found a beautiful amethyst owl. I love owls, and I know that amethyst is the "sobriety crystal", but I wonder if the dream was encouraging my sobriety, and to maybe consider further study?

I hope that wasn't too boring!

[FartemisOwl]

Hi all, just checking in waves back to Cheesy*
Thanks Essex it's good to know that it's not only do-able long term but to also live happily. That's how I'm visualizing life for myself a little further down the road.
Wow Bam, what an awesome dream! I think dreams show us things in symbolism that we understand, so I reckon listen to yourself (or subconscious.) I'm a bit woo too, hehe!
I hope everyone is having a happy day

[BamBam21]

Thank you Fartemis. I keep thinking about it. It was lovely, but then I woke with a real start.

Meant to say, well done Lucy for not just drinking that glass of wine.

[CheesyNachos]

Hello!

Thanks essex for sharing. You sound so happy. It is very inspiring- I also was having severe gastric problems - for months and months.

That is a lovely dream Bam. I am a bit woo also. Definitely listen to your subconscious!

Pretty good day here, thanks Fartemis. ....Finished my work early so zipped to the gym. Now am making a casserole for dinner and plan to read a book until school-run time.

[Seabiscotti]

Hello all.

Thanks Essex, your post was inspiring.

I think dreams have meaning too Bam. What would you like to study?

Well done Lucy and Cheesy.

Hi Fartemis and Teapot.

I can't sleep as rotten cold and heavy chest

[FartemisOwl]

Poor you Sea! I know what it's like, I had the lurgy a couple of weeks ago and couldn't sleep for coughing. Hoping it clears up for you soon.
Well, I'm one week and one day sober. Unfortunately, I'm feeling a bit 'meh' about everything today and a bit sorry for myself. My FB feed is full of people saying whoopee, it's Friday, bring on the wine! And there's me sat here thinking great...another freaking boring night sat in front of the moron box not doing anything, same as every other sodding night.
I've managed to keep positive so far, but I'm just having a total grump-on today for some reason

[Seabiscotti]

Thank you Faretmis. I am feeling not too bad, considering only three hours sleep.

I know exactly what you mean. Every weekend my fb feed is full of the same sort of thing. Nobody is saying, whoopee it's diet coke time .

What sort of things do you like doing? Now could be the perfect time to start a hobby.

I like baking and sewing. I think I am going to spend more time on that. Ideally I would like to feel confident enough to maybe pursue one as a business.

[BamBam21]

Morning everyone. Day 4 here - yay! Still shattered after another terrible night's sleep though. No nice dreams this time, just weird, disturbing ones.

Sorry you are still feeling bad sea. My mum has had this bug too, and it seems to be hanging around her for ages.[tea]

I know what you mean too fartemis. I think it's very hard to change the mindset of getting wasted because it's Friday. It's so engrained in our culture.

I have thought a lot about studying again. My degree was in English Language, which I loved, but I think what I loved most about it was learning about the Middle Ages. I'm a real history geek, particularly the Medieval period. I'm torn between thinking I would love to study history, and thinking maybe I should train in accountancy or something, as we are skint!

[Seabiscotti]

Hey BamBam

I wish I had done an OU degree before they put the prices up . It costs so much to retrain, we can't afford it.

Do you live near anywhere that has a lot of medieval history? You could maybe be a tour guide? That may be a way of doing something that you love without the expense of formal study.

[ididntsignupforthis1]

Hello!
Just found you!
I'm off work today! And still sober after 24 days
I'm drinking a lot of soda water and flavoured sparkling water at work and home and my skin is looking good plus I've lost nearly half a stone! Also liking feeling awake in the morning although still needing early bedtime to resist

[FartemisOwl]

Crikey Bam, I'm starting to wonder if we were separated at birth...I did Lit first (through OU while working) and then decided that history is what I've been nuts about since childhood. I discovered that the grants and loans I could get to go to Uni either full or part time were enough to cover everything, so I went for it. It's definitely worth looking into! Sadly I never got to become the next David Starkey as I fell pregnant right after graduating, but I'll always be glad I did it!
Sea, I always envy people who are good at making things (in a good way!) I mostly write to chill out - in fact I have 33,000ish words of a first draft of a novel sat on my laptop that I've ignored for weeks. I should really focus on getting it done, though I need to stop disassociate it with having a glass of wine next to me

[FartemisOwl]

Disassociating, rather...sorry, distracted!

[Seabiscotti]

I didn't say I was good Fartemis , though I possibly could be if I spent more time on it.

I have a book I am writing very slowly too. I may finish it one day.

For years I had no idea who I was. I am now just trying to work out what I like and enjoy etc. If I can become minted in the process, even better

[Seabiscotti]

Is it possible to work on your book in bed Fartemis? Would that help to disassociate it from wine? I have seen quite a few writers mention that they like to have an alcoholic drink while writing.

[TeapotDictator]

Sea and Fartemis - don't be fooled by the FB feeds proudly announcing the start of the booze fest that is most people's weekends. There might be plenty of photos of sexy looking cocktails or chilled glasses of Sauv Blanc with people proclaiming how excited they are and how much they need a good night out, but you don't get to see the real story - the status update saying "yet another shite start to my weekend, can hardly move from my bed!", or "oh god can't believe I had that extra glass of wine, I've written twenty stupid and embarrassing things on FB!", or... etc etc - you get the gist.

Yes the initial sip or glass might relieve that itch momentarily, but let's not delude ourselves that that's what drinking is really about for most of us...

[Seabiscotti]

I know Teapot. We don't see the aftermath on our feed; the banging headaches, spending half the night hugging the toilet, the wasted next days etc.