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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 9!!!!!

999 replies

CheesyNachos · 11/10/2015 20:39

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

OP posts:
BitterLemons1 · 04/12/2015 18:44

So I've just popped the cork on my AF wine. I actually felt quite excited as I poured it into a wine glass and added some ice. It's really nice as well, and feels more Friday-ish and special than just having a normal soft drink, I'll deffo be buying it again. And I just realised as I was drinking it that I don't have to try and limit how much of it I have - I had a bit of a guilty feeling at the thought of going to the fridge for a 2nd glass before I realised it's ok, I can drink the whole bottle if I want Grin

Seabiscotti · 04/12/2015 19:58

I think if I am totally honest, I am not sure if I really like the taste of wine. Strange, considering how much I could put away. Enjoy your bottle Bitter

donajimena · 04/12/2015 20:03

bitter I'm on sainsbos bitter lemon tonight. 50 whole pence per bottle!
I had an amazing shift in my thinking today when I thought about having a drink tonight (my reward for working hard today) I thought ooh I could have some wine and Immediately I discounted it because I want to be fresh for my class in the morning.
This is massive because I didn't have to agonise or weigh up the decision. It was discounted as soon as the thought popped into my headGrin
What AF wine is it? I'd like some for Christmas day

BitterLemons1 · 04/12/2015 20:35

It doesn't actually taste totally like wine - it's a fizzy grape juice, quite sweet. It's an Asda 'Extra Special' Alcohol Free Muscat that I bought months and months ago when I was planning on embarking on a stint of drinking less which didn't amount to much.

That's fab Dona, rather than that internal debate, you just discounted it completely. As I said earlier my DH is out tonight but instead of using it as an excuse to booze on my own later on, me and DS settled down with some crisps to share and watched Frozen before tucking him up in bed, much more enjoyable.

I'm feeling more comfortable with not drinking at home now, but since starting out on this 2 weeks ago something I've been worried about is the fact that we're going away on an All Inclusive foreign holiday for a week before Christmas. This is going to be a big challenge and I'll need an action plan. So far this consists of:

Loading lots of inspirational books onto my Kindle

Planning on having nice non-alcoholic drinks which I enjoy

At the start of the evening reminding myself how great I'll feel the following morning if I don't drink

Eating a big evening meal and dessert each night - my danger time will be before dinner, once I'm full I'm hoping the desire to drink will be gone

Hopefully having internet access so I can check in here

Tackling it one day at a time instead of worrying about the whole week right at the start

Any further suggestions/advice gratefully received, I'm worried that I'll need all the help I can get!

Seabiscotti · 04/12/2015 21:16

There is an online store called, the alcohol free shop, that sells allsorts.

donajimena · 04/12/2015 21:20

I've no idea what to suggest for a holiday! I think I will pinch some of your ideas. I'm going away next summer and I am already dreading it.
I think I will probably do it hour by hour as in I'll have a drink in an hour if I want one?
It sounds potty but I remember meeting an old man who gave up smoking by telling himself he would have one in 15 minutes.
I did read a bit of Allen Carr last night where he mentioned going abroad.
I'll have to refer back to that .

3phase · 05/12/2015 05:52

Bitter If it's all inclusive they might have some early evening exercise classes? I find that if I do one in the evening I always feel so good about myself smug I don't want to drink at all. Your ideas all sound great too.

I'm worried about Christmas itself. We're going to my parents and I've already told them I'm not planning on drinking. DH is annoyed with me about it because my parents barely drink so he won't have anyone to get drunk with.

Anyone else find their relationship with their DH / DP changes when they stop drinking. Mine really is. Sometimes I think for the better, sometimes for the worse.

Morning all Smile

Marryoneorbecomeone · 05/12/2015 08:55

Good morning! It's Saturday and the first time I've slept in properly for YEARS! Usually I'd wake at 4:30 with a racing mind, upset and paranoid. But not today!

After some reflection last night I noted that a particular relationship as it stands, just isn't helping. On an ordinary day if have had a drink after they wound me up. Instead I had 4 chocolates (cos I have to replace one thing with anotherHmm I noted) and then felt icky.

We too are having a booze free house at Christmas and how that will go down with my parents and siblings, all HEAVY drinkers, I don't know. I suspect they'll scoff and run.

3phase · 05/12/2015 11:52

Well done Marry - sleeping well is quite simply the BEST. Waking up properly rested.....wonderful! Xmas Smile

Marryoneorbecomeone · 05/12/2015 20:19

Saturday night!

I had a tough day. There was a point at which I thought "wow, big glass of wine for me tonight after this!" And then had to pull myself up short and come up with another plan.
I said out loud "I will not drink, just for today." And I won't.

My husband told me how proud he was of me. Smile

Marryoneorbecomeone · 05/12/2015 20:19

How is everyone else coping with Saturday?

donajimena · 05/12/2015 20:43

Aww marry it means a lot when they say they are proud of you doesn't it? My OH says he is proud of me too which makes me Hmm at how he really thought of me!
I'm good today. I had my 9am dance class which I often did with a hangover.
When I finished it I felt elated yet disappointed that I can't do another one until next week. I guess I have been chasing highs for a long time yet finding it in destructive places.
I'm loving sobriety. I'm glad you feel good too x

gladistopped · 05/12/2015 23:15

Trip to a German Market in a big city by train
Lunch with friends.
Shopping.
Home after doing german market and shops

AF now 11 pm
Go me!

Sorry but feel silly pleased as stayed AF

CheesyNachos · 06/12/2015 10:10

glad your day sounds wonderful! Did you have any Kinder (alcohol-free) rum punsch? I read your post and thought I might make some today..... mmmm...... I think it is orange juice, tea and spices, not sure.

I woke up just itching for a drink and am still like that. Blush Have plans to take DS out for the day and hope it will pass. Have not felt like this for quite some time. Not sure what the triggers are.

OP posts:
Seabiscotti · 06/12/2015 11:26

Day 1 again Sad. I had two small glasses of wine yesterday, while cooking and eating a three course meal. It took me two hours to drink each one. I didn't really like it or want it. The third glass, I threw away after one sip and had a glass of pop instead.

So while disappointed to be back at day one, I do think that my mental attitude to alcohol may be changing. I hope this makes sense.

Seabiscotti · 06/12/2015 11:27

Have fun with Ds today Cheesy

Seabiscotti · 06/12/2015 11:28

Well done Marry and glad

gladistopped · 06/12/2015 11:43

Previous years I got smashed and fell asleep on train home. then felt terrible next morning.

I did try an AF mulled wine and it was yum.

Marryoneorbecomeone · 06/12/2015 14:20

Makes sense to me Seabiscotti. X

Marryoneorbecomeone · 06/12/2015 14:23

Slept deeply again last night, which is delicious. And so nice not to wake up feeling down and anxious! My anxiety attacks have been TERRIBLE. Nearly knocking me off my feet sometimes. But not today!

Happy Sunday everyone.

Seabiscotti · 06/12/2015 15:06

Happy Sunday to you too Marry

BitterLemons1 · 06/12/2015 17:29

Seabiscotti it sounds like you drank slowly and sensibly and it didn't lead to a binge, so quite a positive outcome really.

Sirenetta · 06/12/2015 17:49

Looks like lots of positivity round here in this tricky season. I'm on day 100 today! So grateful including for this place. Signing up for another stint till march (my birthday) and then another renewal decision. I feel real, permanent change going on deep down and it's really exciting but also too slow to observe day to day. I hope you can keep trudging, if struggling. It gets much easier.

3phase · 07/12/2015 05:57

Morning everyone. Day 28...I made 4 weeks Smile It's been years since I managed that. I'm very thankful for this thread.

I'm starting to struggle a bit more than I was, the voice inside my head keeps telling me I deserve a drink. Our two oldest had a carol concert with school yesterday and we took them out for dinner afterwards. Everything in the restaurant was so 'Christmassy' and loads of people were popping bottles of fizz...I white knuckled it for about an hour but the craving passed and I'm so glad I didn't drink this morning.

Sirenetta I like your 'renewal decision' goals - I'm stealing that! I need to make it through to Friday first.

Then I've got a big weekend coming up - friends from overseas I usually get drunk with staying for the weekend, I'm doing lunch for 30 on Sunday and then 3 nights in a hotel with my girlfriends and the kids which we've all been looking forward to for months and talking about how much wine we're going to drink! Eeek. I think I'll be making hourly 'renewal decisions' from Friday onwards.

I'm going to try and do lots of things to make me feel good about myself over the next few days in the hope that will build me up a bit for the coming temptations. I'm determined to get Christmas 'all wrapped up' and be rid of the builders by the end of this week. [santa]

Seabiscotti · 07/12/2015 09:36

Bitter it was sensible and slow, but only because I didn't want it. I also thought it tasted yuk. I think mentally I turned a huge corner earlier in the week, when I went out, didn't drink and still had a fab time.

Congrats Sirenetta 100 days is brilliant Star

3 sounds like you have a tough week or so coming up. You definitely need a plan of action.

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