DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

Fair do's Teapot :) Let me know how you get on as I'm interested too.

I'm just mulling it all over in my mind Lucy to be honest. I totally agree with IFD in that being either on or off a wagon is a really destructive approach and my last round of bad eating patterns has I think been set off by yet another round of "ooh let me go out and buy the latest book and stick to it for amazing results only to stop a few weeks later and flail around helplessly not knowing what to do".

I've started to realise that no matter what I'm doing, I cannot eat certain foods in a normal fashion. These are mostly sugar and grain items but also include things like peanut butter. If I'm eating them, it requires huge amounts of willpower to eat them moderately. Ring any bells? So perhaps the path to redemption is to decide that any food which causes this reaction in me simply has to be cut out. I don't think this means therefore all carbs, but any carb which has me wanting more and more.

As I say, I'm just pondering it all at the moment.......

Hello friends. Bam, Teapot and others - wise words. Teapot* I am with you on realizing that sugar is absolutely an addictive substance. It behaves just the same way as alcohol - cravings kick in at stress points, more breeds more, regret afterwards and so on. But since I am still in the alcohol free 100 days I am not going to sweat it TOO much. I will need to address it gently soon though.

I am on day 77 (11 full weeks since Aug 28). It has gone from feeling pretty awful to feeling shiny and new and wonderful to feeling just normal (in a good way). I really am not thinking about drinking much at all now. We've had pretty much no alcohol in the house since then and luckily my DH is a very take it or leave it light drinker, so that's been fine, though he did confess this week that the odd beer would have been nice. I think I'm at the point where this will be fine with me. Wondering about upcoming Xmas and other celebrations though, and how those will feel sober. I'll be staying close to this group in December.

Thank you everyone for saying well done to me - I keep posting what day I'm on as it helps me to keep on track.

Armada 12 days is awesome Seems like we're all in quite a good place at the moment

I knew I would have issues with bingeing on crap food when I stopped drinking (replacing one addiction with another) so a couple of weeks ago I set myself a challenge...to only spend £15 a week on food. Started off with quite a full freezer/store cupboard so not as difficult as it sounds, but it will get harder as stocks run low. It's also a great distraction because when I start craving a drink, I tkink about my shopping list instead. This week I have 80p left to spend

Hope everyone is coping and will stay strong over the weekend!

Sirenetta Huge congrats on 11 weeks! [Star]

Yay Sirenetta - 11 weeks is amazing. Totally agree that in those early days it's not remotely worth trying to look at your food intake. Concentrate on sobriety, it's going so well..!

Jam you're doing so well too. I really loved counting the days off (still do look back at my app to see how I'm doing sometimes) and each day felt like a real win.

I need to download an app! What ones are good on an android phone?

I use "I'm Done Drinking" but it's an iPhone one. Had a quick Google and some came up here. One app listed on there is the Andrew Johnson hypnosis app which reminded me that I downloaded that and listened to it every night as I went to sleep in the first few weeks. It was really excellent, he has an incredible voice, and I still stick it on occasionally now.

Thanks Teapot :)

Morning all.

Much better sleep last night...despite some idiot deciding to let off their leftover fireworks down the road at 2 am. Cue DS melt-down and dogs barking. I wonder if that was the kind of 'good idea' they had after a night out in the pub...

So many successes!!!
Day 10 Jam!
Day 12 Armarda!
Day 77 Sirinetta !

I'll check out Bright Lines Teapot thanks.

Bam pls check in Lovely. How are you?

Just finished reading Sacha Scoblic's book 'Unwasted'.

www.amazon.co.uk/Unwasted-Lush-Sobriety-Sacha-Scoblic/dp/080653429X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1447480232&sr=8-1&keywords=unwasted

I really enjoyed it. The final chapter I found poignant in a very good way. In fact, it left me feeling empowered by choosing not to drink, rather than a bit grumpy and anxious about it which I have been the past few days. Can highly recommend.

Also..... I went back to one of the youtube videos I watched several times a day in the early days. First linked to on Lucy's blog last year. It was a good 'tune up' for me.

I have been struggling a bit... thinking 'just one' 'i can handle it' etc so went back to tools that worked in the early days. Feeling strong and proud of myself as in the past when I have started feeling like this I have always, but always slipped. :)

Feeling good this morning. No bingeing yesterday AT ALL. And I had a mint tea at Costa rather than a gingerbread latte. Go me!

Plans this weekend? I have a project to finish for work. I am not sure this working 'almost full time' from home is really working for me.... I am certainly working more than full time. I might need to re-think this fairly major part of my life. I was previously so damned grateful for the flexibility that I take on more and more even though it is ending up to be unpaid work.

Hmmm..... starting to value myself and my time....... interesting development.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

God. Have just turned on the news and seen what happened in Paris.

RIP all.

Hi everyone, haven't managed to check since Wed - I went away with my mother for a few days and couldn't remember my MN password to log in on my phone with hence couldn't post.

Home now. Day 6. Feeling very about the tragedy in Paris. I lived there for a year in my early twenties. Thankfully all my friends seem to be safe. I drank and drank and drank when I was there, I can't stop imagining sitting in a bar merrily get wasted and a gunman suddenly bursting in. Too awful.

Interesting reading all the posts about food - I've been shovelling food into my gob in disgusting amounts for the past 3 days.... I know sugar and white flour are things that can derail me. I haven't been able to avoid them while I've been away which is worrying me. I keep telling myself to concentrate on not drinking.

The successes on this thread are such an inspiration. I hope you're all having a good weekend.

3phase - you're right to focus on the not drinking bit. I waited until I was about 3-4 months in before looking at my food issues and am not much further forward with it, clearly

Cheesy - yes, hideous news to wake up to this morning. Except I was woken in the night and stupidly looked at my phone so then struggled to get back to sleep. Horrific. I can't bear to see all the smart phone footage emerging, unedited clips without voiceover on the main news with just the sound of random explosions and gunfire. No BBC Online, I do not wish to watch 'in real time' footage of people being gunned down.

I'm really struggling. I lost my cousin in the Bali bombing - she was 32 and on holiday. What's happened in Paris has made me so sad but also really angry. Desperately want to down a bottle of wine or two to get rid of these feelings

Oh lovely. I'm so sorry about your cousin.

You're totally justified in having those feelings; what happened yesterday is horrific. But wine will not make it better or change anything. Allow yourself to feel angry and sad, you are entitled to feel those feelings. Big hug to you X

Was shocking Cheesy. I watched it unfold last night from the start and then couldn't sleep until the early hours of the morning after. Gut wrenching stuff

Goodness, so sorry about your cousin Jam Part of the difficult thing about getting sober is having to 'feel your feelings' for the first time in a long time. Facing up to them and acknowledging them without hiding behind a bottle. I live in NI and growing up a lot of us had been touched in some way by terrorism and loss. My uncle was killed by an IRA bomb, my parents lost friends. You are perfectly justified to feel the way you do but you are strong enough to do it without wine. I hope you're ok tonight.

Well done on 6 days phase3. I really wouldn't worry about the food yet, it's only been quite recently I've been able to keep a handle on the sugar issue. One thing at a time I believe.

Ok weekend here. The dc have somehow wore me down talked me into putting the tree up already. I'm going to be sick of the sight of it come December Went on my date today too. Not an entire success Back to the drawing board or maybe I'll just adopt a cat.

Hi all hope you are all having a good weekend. Im still dry 6 days! If anything the awful events in Paris have made it a little easier. Something to concentrate on other than my own feelings.
jam I completely understand and hope that you got through last night. Don't beat yourself up if you didn't.
brighit was it awful or just 'meh' ?

Hi everyone,

Jam hope you are okay.

Thanks all, I'm ok and still dry.

Good to hear it jam, hope you're feeling alright

Just 'meh' dona nothing disastrous. One of those ones that I learnt absolutely everything about them and could barely get a word in edgeways. Maybe it was nerves but my God it was incessant . No chemistry anyway so doesn't really matter.

Hope you are okay jam.

Sorry about your date Brighit.

Hi everyone. Hope you are all fine.

I had a pretty awful experience last night. I was working late and went down to get a cup of coffee. DH had a box of chocolates out that he had been eating earlier and I mindlessly took one and ate it. It was a truffle with real alcohol in it. The thing is, I was first of all surprised and then hit with the most massive almost overwhelming craving. It nearly floored me. It just hit me between the eyes. I feel a bit shaky about it all.... I was then climbing the walls. He had been drinking sherry so i actually went to the bottle and licked the rim. Seriously. How fucking weird is that.

All this time I have been thinking I am just a problem drinker and can handle stopping and maybe at the back of my mind there has been a thought that eventually I can go back and be 'normal' then something like this flattens me.

I'm scared.

Morning!

I get that Cheesy - I've done similar. Well done for stopping with the rim though! That dangerous thought 'maybe one day I'll be able to drink again' pops into my head several times a day. Mostly in relation to Christmas atm!

I had a really awful day yesterday. It was Day 7 so an achievement of sorts but not something I was going to get excited about because I've managed quite a few 'weeks' before. I felt bloody awful all day though. Really, really negative. I'd picked DH up from a party on Sat night where lots of our good friends were completely hammered and having a whale of a time. They all nagged me to stay and have a drink, I didn't have a drink but I did end up staying until 1am as I couldn't physically get DH or the other couple I was a giving a lift to into the car. I'd been up since 4am so I was knackered and not really seeing the funny side. My DD4 likes to get up around 5am so I knew I wasn't going to get a lot of sleep.

Anyway I woke up yesterday and instantly felt overwhelmed and like I wanted to run. Not to drink so much but just away, from everyone and everything. The feeling lingered all day and wasn't helped by the fact I had a friend and her two children staying and then we ended up with EIGHT under 10's for the most of the afternoon! Plus we moved in the summer and are renovating the house so there's builders stuff everywhere, not one room is finished....DH seems to be able to let this all wash over him but I can't stand the chaos or the mess.

I did have a fairly frank conversation with DH about me not drinking. He asked quietly if I was planning on drinking at a fondue and schnapps party we've been invited to next weekend and when I said no, he asked about Christmas so I just said "I hope not". He asked me why and I tried to explain but he just looked exasperated. He said he'd support me no matter what though which was what I really wanted to hear, bless him.

I went to bed at 9pm and slept for 7 hours straight so hoping for a better day today. Hope everyone else is OK. Especially you Jam

Morning, not been here for ages!

Cheesy was there still sherry in the bottle because if there was you did amazingly well to stop at licking the rim (fnarr) I'm not sure I'd have had the ability to stop there so maybe you could see it as an achievement?

3phase - I was at a party on Saturday night with lots of drunken people too, didn't get home til 1am which is highly unusual for sober me, I'm normally in bed by 10. Felt horrible all day yesterday too, kept fighting tears about the Paris thing, horrible. I thought my banging headache and sick feeling was incredibly unfair seeing as how not a drop had passed my lips but it turns out that I've got a bug of some sort. Will have to dose up on paracetamol and see if I can manage work today.

I danced at this party. The host asked me before the vent what got me on the dance floor so I had to tell her 'a bottle and a half of wine gets me on the dance floor but I don't do that any more so I'm afraid you're asking the wrong person'. Anyway, dancing is hard sober, not sure I'm going to race to do it again!

I've been several months off the Antabuse now and doing well, I never thought I'd ever be able to not drink without the tablets so I'm feeling very proud of myself

Morning not been on a while so very good to hear all the positive updates. Had some not great news about Ds health so that floored me a bit over the weekend and had to work very hard not to use it as a big old give me some wine excuse . Managed it but it made me very grumpy with poor dp who is so pleased with my progress. Best to all x