DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

Brilliant post teapot .
bam did you know you can go to AA and say nothing. You could go every day and not utter a word. Just putting that out there!
Another thing I have also realised is that its only for 2-3 hours out of every day that I have to worry about the wine witch. Those hours from 5 - 8 are a trigger. If I get to 8/9 its ok to go to bed. Like someone said earlier I have also rediscovered the joy of books
I've been doing a dance class three evenings a week which takes me out of the house until 8 and the high I am getting from that is more than I could get from a merlot. Tbh if I didn't have that and other things to do at trigger time I know I would be struggling more than I am at the moment.

You're absolutely sure of that Bam because.... you suspect that your children are at risk? I think I'm going to bow out of this now because from what you have posted your children are at risk and yet you are refusing to countenance that you need extra help.

Totally agree dona that AA is hardly for "extroverts". If it was I'm sure the rooms would be far emptier.

Also bam when I was in the midst of domestic abuse and being helped by womens aid the drug & alcohol team I was under the support of attended a MAREC meeting (a multi agency meeting) and there was no SS involvement. It was also a concern of mine.

Okay, I will bow out of the thread now if I am causing frustration. I didn't mean to worry anybody, but I am absolutely not seeking outside help. I need to do this my way. And I will.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Best of luck Bam. I really hope you find a way, because it hasn't worked for you so far. I know that sounds really harsh, but it is true.

Bam I wish you the best In my professional experience social care have always worked with families to help them through these difficult times. Please seek help if doing it your way doesn't work out.

Im afraid I agree with what the others have written Bam
You have struggled for a long while on here to just get to a few days AF and you and your DH are putting your children at risk of serious harm and neglect.
PLEASE ask for help,your way is not working.

Evening all. Wishing you the best too Bam and I'm sorry if my post precipitated your decision to leave.

Urghhkk... I am in bed and know that I'm coming down with a cold. It's been a tough few weeks here chez Teapot, we all had bad flu about 3 weeks ago and then I had two weeks of court shenanigans. Monday, Weds and today I had a child off school and just as it looks as though they'll be going back, I get the bloody lurgey again. Bah.

I'm not surprised though because I have been stupidly stressed and eating utter crap. It has to change...

Hope everyone else is doing okay. [cuppa] healthy and copious gold

Good luck Bam. Hope things get better for you

Just wanted to add that I tried writing more of an explanation as to why I'd reacted in the way I did in my recent post, but deleted it because I thought enough had been said. I really do hope you find a way Bam because like Pink says I am worried for your children.

bam if you're stll reading and can afford it, try a private counsellor, one that specialises in addictions.

teapot hope you're feeling better soon

I do hope you're ok Bam. Totally understand the want to keep things between your family but alcoholism does thrive in secrecy. I really think you would relief in reaching out to someone

Feel better soon Teapot. I hate the winter merry-go-round of germs.

What sort of dancing is it you're doing dona? That sounds really fun.

I've been hitting the gym hard this week myself on a mission to try and stave off the usual seasonal blues. I get quite depressed during the winter time, always have done but exercise seems to be helping. Unfortunately I think I've done something to my hamstring. Typical.

brighit I don't know if you are familiar with reggaeton/latin pop? Its kind of like zumba but more choreographed and very high energy which is what I need with all the extra crap I've been eating.
I came home tonight and my OH had left a glassful of wine in the bottle from last night. It did cross my mind that it would be nice to have in the bath. However there are two full bottles of wine here and I knew that if I had the one I would have drunk a bottle on top.
Its what we used to say in AA one drink is too many and one drink is never enough
Id love to know how normal drinkers can enjoy just the one
Anyway I'm in bed now so the danger has passed. So thats 4 days AF free for me!
Hope you are all keeping strong!

AF not AF free! I'll get used to the acronym!

Hi all, hope you feel better soon Teapot.

Lots of great advice on her Bam, I hope you see it and take it on board.

I can't sleep. I have a business idea and my brain is in overdrive.

Morning all.

Coming down with something here too. Awake all night, headachey. Meant to be getting things ready for DHs return from abroad.

Hope everyone is fine.

Just to mention, I went to a private addictions counsellor for about a year because I was worried about SS involvement too. Once I stopped fudging how much I drank - I mean really! - it was great.

Might go back actually as my binge eating is getting totally out of control.

to everyone.

Cheesy, make sure you take it easy. You don't want to overdo it and end up feeling worse for longer.

You should go, especially if it is out of control and makint you unhappy.

Morning everyone

Never thought I'd be writing this, but I've made it to day 10!

Day off work today and as it's a Friday I need to keep really busy. First on the agenda is the sewing shop to buy an unpicker - only 164 patchwork squares sewn wrong!

I've been seeing my counsellor for about six weeks, she has shown me the importance of staying "in the moment". Really works for me, not just with the drinking but in all areas of my life.

For everyone who struggles with Fridays - may the force be with you!

Business idea Sea? Brilliant (although not the insomnia bit...)

Cheesy - my eating is also a bit out of control at the moment. I was reading about Bright Lines eating last night, which is apparently based on 12-step recovery programmes for eating. I've realised that my eating spirals badly if I eat certain foods, but I have been struggling with not wanting to go on a restrictive diet because I'm good at sticking to them for a while, but then go haywire. BL I think centres on giving yourself strict rules that you NEVER cheat on, based on what foods are triggery of that addictive behaviour. The main culprits being grains and sugar. I really do think I need to just cut them out completely because at the moment I'm 20% woman, 80% bread product

Jam - Day 10 is fantastic, well bloody done. Don't take your eye off the ball this weekend, what do you have planned to help get you through it?

Good morning all. Well done on your 10 days jam
I've overslept this morning. I couldn't sleep last night but I have been sleeping so much better. The joy of waking without the dry mouth and shaking is so worth those 'empty' few hours in the evening.
I've got plans tonight that don't involve alcohol so thats this evening taken care of
Happy Friday everyone :)

Oh its so lovely not to be hungover!

Dona enjoy the pink cloud
Jam 10 days? Woohoo!!
Teapot have you checked out Isabel Foxen Duke's Stop Fighting Food? Worth a look as many of us swap emotional drinking for emotional eating

No I've never heard of it dona, Zumba's about as exotic as it gets here . Looks very energetic and enjoyable from a quick youtube. Enjoy your pink cloud, it's a great feeling.

Fabulous jam, double figures, well done you

Carbs and sugar would be my downfall too. I have stopped buying sweets and chocolate for the house and I do find that it really helps my diet. Once I start eating sugar, I crave it more so yep the downward spiral thing. I don't stress about carbs too much as I exercise a fair bit but trying to up my protein a little bit. I'm not a huge protein eater and I find it stops me being constantly hungry all the time if I remind myself to eat some.

Stinking form today, dd didn't sleep well last night hence neither did I. She's now throwing endless tantrums because I won't give her juice/sweets/insert sugary stuff this time of the morning. Only 5 hours to go before dad takes over for the weekend!

Lucy I had a brief look at that and although I like the concept of what she is saying, I think it doesn't account for the fact that some of us have a very very addictive response to eating those foods. If I say to myself "I have no restrictions on food" (which to be honest because of the past few months of stress I have been saying... I have told myself that I'm not going to think about what I eat until the stress lessens) I just eat mountains of rubbish. And if I eat one slice of bread, I am very likely to eat 10).

I like the idea of this Bright Line eating because it acknowledges that some of us experience something of an 'allergic reaction' to eating those foods, in the same way we might say we have an allergic reaction to alcohol. Whilst some people can eat one biscuit and think nothing of it, for some of us it triggers obsessive thinking and a tendency towards bingeing. A bit like realising that moderation is not the answer in our alcohol intake, she says that the answer for those of us susceptible to this kind of response to refined foods is complete abstention.

As I say I've only just started looking into it, and I'm loathe at the moment to feel like I need to sign up to a 'programme', or be on any sort of 'wagon'. But drawing firm lines in the sand regarding grains and sugar feels almost like a relief to me in the same way that it does with alcohol.

Well done on your 10 days Jam

I'm now on 12 days, woohoo!! Feeling very pleased with myself, and like dona I'm loving the not being hungover feeling. Still not sleeping great, though.

I thought I'd be reaching for sugary, carby things as a substitute for the wine, but to my surprise I'm not. I think my emotional eating is linked to my emotional drinking, and if I cut out the drinking I don't feel the need to stuff my face. It does help enormously that DH has taken over the grocery shopping so there's no temptation in the house.

Well, it's Friday, the end of the week & a big trigger day for me. I'll check in later, but I fully intend to stay strong.