Afternoon all.
Bam it's hard to explain exactly why my thinking has changed but I felt as though the scales fell from my eyes and I saw that "woohoo" feeling for what it was. Yes it's a momentary sense of sinking into a comfy armchair, of pressing the pause button on my life and all its stress and shitness. But in exchange for that fleeting feeling is hours and hours and hours of utter crap in return. Clearly a bubble bath or scented candle is not going to recreate that experience 
- but the thing about non-addictive 'highs' is that they don't steal from you after you've indulged in them.
Only after I stopped drinking was I also able to see my history of recreational drug taking for what it was too. Hours or even days of anticipation, slight worry about getting the drugs, preparing and planning for this "amazing night out". On the night, again more anticipation and worry, almost dread. Then a brief moment of nirvana. Followed by the rest of the evening trying to maintain it, not wanting the evening to end, never being able to sanely say "well that was a good night! Time for bed!", followed by a hideous time trying to get to sleep and possibly a come down for a few days afterwards.
It could amount to a week of crapness, all in exchange for a brief high. What a total joke.
Please don't "jack it all in". Jack it in for what? A life of being an alcoholic, in a relationship with an alcoholic, as the parents of two small children? It's got to be worth fighting the fight over and over and over so you can give your children a better childhood than the one you had as the child of an alcoholic. I think it's seriously worth considering whether you need outside help of some sort because maybe this is bigger than you can tackle alone. And if it comes down to, in your head, that if you can't tackle it alone then you are going to "jack it all in", then that sounds to me like no option at all.
If you don't want to involve family (which I completely understand) then please seek help anonymously or privately. Don't give up. 