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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So I have made myself look like a tit

243 replies

Esmeismyhero · 26/09/2015 21:56

Dh and I are away for a weekend, he has been to a convention and I've been relaxing, all fab.

Tonight we went to a "party". We were meant to be meeting his friends from this convention etc and sounded fab. We booked tickets and I spent ages getting ready (I very very rarely go out so I was really excited)

The party ended up being a gathering in a pub (all fine so far) except dh doesn't introduce me to anyone and just goes and watches the rugby.

I'm not very good socially and I don't know anyone there, he goes to the downstairs of the pub and for 45 mins I'm sat on the sofas alone because I'm a fucking dick :(

I finally found dh and called a taxi to come back to the hotel and have a blub.

Dh said I knew he was going to watch the rugby (I didn't, when he said it I thought he was joking) now I'm back at the hotel and feel like a tit.

I brought a nice top and did my hair and makeup I was very excited to go with dh, talk to new people etc. now I've ruined it by coming back to the hotel like an idiot, he didn't even ask me to stay when I asked for a cab.

He came back to the hotel a min ago and said sorry etc but I feel awful, I've ruined the evening.

Nothing to say really apart from I need Wine

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/09/2015 23:56

His plan worked then. He didn't want you to go in the first place for mysterious reasons of his own but didn't manage to totally shut you down so you tagged along (against advice).

Now he has you blaming yourself and changing your behaviour when he is the one who needs to change his

he's good, I'll give him that

Original poster
Esmeismyhero · 26/09/2015 23:57

I wish you were here AF, you could tell him for me. Wine

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/09/2015 23:58

You seriously think it is as "simple" as that, SB ?

That is spectacularly naive.

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:00

He wouldn't listen to me, Esme, just like he doesn't listen to you. Thanks

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:00

OP - can I just say I feel really sorry for you - you have been badly let down by someone who should have been a lot more aware and caring. I feel for you. When you get the chance, let your DH be in no doubt about how you feel. And it's not about what he wanted, or what you "should have expected" - it's about basic respect. You are a hell of a lot more important than a bunch of men kicking a ball round a field!

DixieNormas · 27/09/2015 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:03

That is spectacularly naive.

Really? Why do you say that?

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:07

AnyFucker Are you always so aggressive..? Hmm

DixieNormas · 27/09/2015 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cloppysow · 27/09/2015 00:12

"Experienced posters..."

Hmm
AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:19

SB, did you realise that men who kick seven shades of shit out of their women after 10 pints still profess to "love" them ?

Putting this down to does he "simply" love her or not doesn't indicate any knowledge of the way that dysfunctional relationships work at all

And again, it's nothing at all to do with rugby

If you can't see that, your advice is actually not just meaningless, but dangerous

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:21

Not I am pretty consistent in my posting, so I'll let you make your own mind up about that

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:21

Spot on, Dixie

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:24

Hmmm - possibly dial it it down a notch, AF?

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:28

No

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:29

Kick 7 shades of shit out of ? Jesus AnyFucker WTF? Time for beddy byes perhaps? Anybody else fancy completely derailing this thread? Confused

Esmeismyhero · 27/09/2015 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Esmeismyhero · 27/09/2015 00:31

Think I should just go to bed and sleep now, I'm starting to be mean.

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 27/09/2015 00:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippednailvarnish · 27/09/2015 00:32

Why are you so passive OP?

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:33

I'm not surprised reading some of the nonsense being posted here...

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:33

Not derailing. Simply pointing out that someone telling you that they love you means absolutely nothing at all. Actions are the key. Spluttering dramatically about that simple observation makes you look pissed wrong, not me.

Original poster
Esmeismyhero · 27/09/2015 00:34

Believe it or not I'm only like this when it comes to dh and my ddad, he sent me this back:

Because you are the love of my life and I always worry about you xxx

Urghh

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:35

I can't see that message on my phone, Esme.

Chippednailvarnish · 27/09/2015 00:35

So you kowtow to men?

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