Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So I have made myself look like a tit

243 replies

Esmeismyhero · 26/09/2015 21:56

Dh and I are away for a weekend, he has been to a convention and I've been relaxing, all fab.

Tonight we went to a "party". We were meant to be meeting his friends from this convention etc and sounded fab. We booked tickets and I spent ages getting ready (I very very rarely go out so I was really excited)

The party ended up being a gathering in a pub (all fine so far) except dh doesn't introduce me to anyone and just goes and watches the rugby.

I'm not very good socially and I don't know anyone there, he goes to the downstairs of the pub and for 45 mins I'm sat on the sofas alone because I'm a fucking dick :(

I finally found dh and called a taxi to come back to the hotel and have a blub.

Dh said I knew he was going to watch the rugby (I didn't, when he said it I thought he was joking) now I'm back at the hotel and feel like a tit.

I brought a nice top and did my hair and makeup I was very excited to go with dh, talk to new people etc. now I've ruined it by coming back to the hotel like an idiot, he didn't even ask me to stay when I asked for a cab.

He came back to the hotel a min ago and said sorry etc but I feel awful, I've ruined the evening.

Nothing to say really apart from I need Wine

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 27/09/2015 00:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:36

OP never said anything about him kicking the shit out of her, he just behaved like an arse from what I can see, crossed wires, she should be more clear about her expectations, men are not mind readers. Where's all the aggression come from..?

DixieNormas · 27/09/2015 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:38

AF - I've ordered a sense of proportion for you on Amazon - expect delivery soon.

Original poster
Esmeismyhero · 27/09/2015 00:38

Me: are u ok

Him: Yeah just worried about you.
I'm leaving soon
I miss you xxx

Me: I'm fine ok see u soon

Him: xxx

Me:I can't even bring myself to send you a sarcastic yet witty meme, bad times

Me: I don't know why ur worried Dh (whoops I gave his name away) I'm fine

Him: Because you are the love of my life and I always worry about you xxx

OP posts:
Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:39

AnyFucker you are peddling your own damaged agenda which has nothing to do with the OP's original question and I claim my £5 Grin

runlulurun · 27/09/2015 00:40

OP I still don't see anything particularly wrong with what he has said there, there is clearly a lot of backstory to this.

I also think you should take every posters opinions with a pinch of salt. It is so easy to make declarations about other people's relationship based on one side of an argument.

If someone offers a point of view and you clearly recognise what they are saying as true, good. But I'm not sure it's a good thing to be persuaded into a viewpoint that you may not otherwise have had.

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:40

It's in your head, Notgrumpy. Try reading the posts on the thread in the right order and then you won't get confused.

DixieNormas · 27/09/2015 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:41

Esme, why are you telling him you are fine when you are not ?

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:43

SilverBadger Is it just the two of us..?

Original poster
Esmeismyhero · 27/09/2015 00:43

i started typing out total bullshit just then, I don't know why I said I'm fine.

OP posts:
Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:44

I don't think it's in MY head AnyFucker. Far from it..!

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:45

Dixie, trying to reason with wilfully stupid is a thankless task

Not you, Esme. The silly people joining your husband in shutting you down.

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:46

I hope not - God knows I'm not qualified o advise anyone on relationships!

Chippednailvarnish · 27/09/2015 00:47

Do you have any relationships with male relatives that you aren't totally passive in OP?

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:48

Also, Esme, you know your H is OK. It's you that is not OK. You have had a shit evening because of him. It was set up to go this way by him. You won't be tagging along on any more of these trips of his, will you ?

runlulurun · 27/09/2015 00:48

I don't think anyone is trying to shut Esme down AF

I do agree there is no point in saying you are fine when you are not. There is nothing wrong with explaining why you are not fine and whether he's a complete arsehole or not it would be better for both of you to be honest.

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:48

Can we just agree that this evening could have been better managed and that OP and her DH have some serious talking to do? Or is that being naive?

SilverBadger · 27/09/2015 00:50

What do you think Notgrumpyjustquiet ?

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:51
runlulurun · 27/09/2015 00:52

That is how I would interpret it SB.

Serious talking, and listening, from both sides.

If you want someone to respect what you say, you do have to be honest about it.

AnyFucker · 27/09/2015 00:53

I think blaming this whole sorry situation on men liking rugby too much or a simple mismatch in communication is "shutting her down"

But anyway, all is well now because he said she is the love of his life so we can all go to bed with a light heart. Right ?

Cabrinha · 27/09/2015 00:54

Turn your phone off whilst you're sending silly messages, OP!
Why on earth are you telling him you're fine?
Even at the first messages, why are you saying "night" then "r u Ok?"
Turn your phone off, go to bed.
Or talk here but FFS don't send any more messages saying you're fine when you're not, or trying to make a point with no kisses - BECAUSE HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR POINT.

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 27/09/2015 00:55

SilverBadger you are obviously being utterly naive. And woe betide anyone who dares to assert anything to the contrary.