So just received this email from stbxh's gf.

[SheerWill]

This just arrived in my inbox:

Just to let you know we arrived safely and Ds can't wait to go to the beach tomorrow.

We thought we'd continue the international experience week so we took him to a curry house this evening - he likes mango chutney, yoghurt sauce and popadoms.He thinks the Bombay potatoes were a bit spicy and the vegetable samosa a bit peppery but liked the naan and saag aloo.

There was a little wait for the bill to which Ds responded "OH FUCK!" We've talked it through and he knows not to ever say it again and that he mustn't say words that he doesn't know the meaning of. We also checked where he'd heard it and he said "mummy"! He's not been told off this time as we wanted to make sure he understood why he can't say it and that it's a bad word. He knows if he says it again in future he will be severely reprimanded because he's been told it's wrong now.

I don't know whether to cry, laugh or hit things.

This is hilarious! I assume the new gf doesn't have kids of her own

Laugh. Laugh a lot.

Then respond with "well fuck me sideways, that's fucking appalling !"

Isn't she just trying to keep you informed?
(What am I missing here?)

I would reply:

Please never email me again. The only person with whom I wish to converse about my DS is XXX, his father.

It's a nice email up to the pint when she rather labours the point over the language
I would return something light and not bother mention the swearing, it's her problem not yours, assuming you don't mind swearing.

I'm with Coconutty.

Or "really pleased to hear he's getting some actual parenting as well as a holiday. I'm not really sure why you're telling me about it. In future I trust xh will be able to parent without giving me a running commentary. Have fun!"

Laugh. How old is he? I hope he comes out with a fabulous name for her.

What's she done wrong? She is trying to usurp the parenting role.

What if he does know the meaning - is he allowed to say it then?

This woman has absolutely no right to be emailing you regarding your ds....

Unless, are you friendly?
Has she been in the picture for a decent period of time?

I am amazed people can't see what she's done wrong. She'd pissed me off with the 'international experience' comment let alone the lecture on swearing.

But hey, good job she's there to teach right from wrong

Bet she's 22

Oh dear.

My ex's wife is fond of this type of thing too.

She titles hers "Daily Report" and lists everything DS does that offends her superior parenting ways. Including how he rolled his eyes at her and the time he was naughty for removing a new toy from the shelf to have in his bed with him.

I always reply "glad you guys are having fun. I'm sure he'll start to learn the different rules between the houses" and repeat it a lot. I always try to pick something positive and only ever comment on that.

I would just say something along the lines of " So pleased he's trying new things. Sounds like a yummy visit "

Ahaha, being told off by your ex's bit on the side for exposing your lad to Bad Words (and failing to expose him to curry at a sufficiently early age).

Would love to write back "Oh fuck, did he really?" but what would probably annoy her most would be to respond with a polite thanks for the update, sounds like DS is having a great time etc, completely ignoring the very blatant digs.

However - "severely reprimanded"? By whom? How old is the child?

I agree with bobochic.

He will be severely reprimanded ?

Don't email anything. She'll never know if you got it. If you approved or disapproved. Keep her out of the loop

Although now I agree with Annie (easily swayed)

Yes agree with Mary - don't email back.

I wouldn't brush it off with humour. I would make proper boundaries clear from the start.

Oh dear. Hope you consider yourself told.

I would ignore and only communicate with your ex.