So just received this email from stbxh's gf.

[SheerWill]

This just arrived in my inbox:

Just to let you know we arrived safely and Ds can't wait to go to the beach tomorrow.

We thought we'd continue the international experience week so we took him to a curry house this evening - he likes mango chutney, yoghurt sauce and popadoms.He thinks the Bombay potatoes were a bit spicy and the vegetable samosa a bit peppery but liked the naan and saag aloo.

There was a little wait for the bill to which Ds responded "OH FUCK!" We've talked it through and he knows not to ever say it again and that he mustn't say words that he doesn't know the meaning of. We also checked where he'd heard it and he said "mummy"! He's not been told off this time as we wanted to make sure he understood why he can't say it and that it's a bad word. He knows if he says it again in future he will be severely reprimanded because he's been told it's wrong now.

I don't know whether to cry, laugh or hit things.

She's trying to be a parent to him. I've had similar chats with my DDs fathers' GF, she doesn't take these sort of issues so seriously but even if she did I'd rather her try to be a positive influence on my DD that lead her astray. I'm biased because I think the world if this woman, she's shown my daughter lots of love and guidance.

I would want to know more about their idea of severely reprimanded.

My 6 year old dd turned to me recently and said "mummy whats a cunt". She is a gorgeous "good" little girl and dh and I have never used this word!

Incredibly she was told it by an older boy at a national trust BBQ. National trust! Is nowhere safe?! Luckily dh and are together and there is no snooty new girlfriend to witness our shame!

How did she obtain your email address? did you give her it incase of any concerns away from home and she has misunderstood the reason and her boundaries? I would err on the side of dignity and thank her for the feedback on the holiday and in future any parenting concerns will be addressed face to face and with new partners of your ex never put anything negative in writing incase it come back to bite you

Christ what a patronising email! At first i thought oh this is nice - little update on your son's day but then it evolved and you could jsut picture this young lady.. no idea about raising kids but feeling self important and smug for being so much better at it!

I'd either ignore it or send a minimal reply, i know you said your stbxh is worse but surely it's his job to communicat with you about ds?!

Also agree with pp who think it's bizarre you have to send regular rundowns of ds's day.. yeah i can understand an occasionaly update letting stbxh know he's ok but it sounds like they want the upper hand.

I think you've got to grit your teeth and then talk directly to the father

'Thank you for letting me know. It sounds as if you dealt with the situation very well.'
Then laugh your socks off and have a cup of tea/glass of wine.
Your DS will be home soon.

I'm a stepmum. I'd never have emailed my DH's ex like that! But I guess that she was tryng to be a good stepmum, which is better, in the grand scheme of things, than one that doesn't like him or doesn't care..

Personally I'd have had a laughter and emailed back, "the little monkey, he told me that he'd heard it from daddy's new girlfriend!" Then I'd speak to my ex and ask him to curb her enthusiasm a bit (it might impress him but it doesn't you!) and find out what the severely reprimanded bit meant.