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Original poster

The female 'best friend'

192 replies

DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 16:58

Can I get your opinions on this please. I've started seeing a bloke recently. It's pretty casual but I like him. He seems to like me. I'm 35 and he's 36.

So he told me about his best friend, a female, and how they used to shag. He even got her pregnant at one point, but she lost the baby. They see each other all time, cosy pics on FB etc. She's a model (FFS!). She has a key to his apartment etc.

He also told me some story about how stupid her (fairly recent) ex was as he never realised the two of them were shagging even though it was obvious.

The whole thing has really thrown me. I don't know what to make of the 'best friend you used to shag' scenario. He said he hasn't shagged her for a while but he would say that wouldn't he? Don't know what to do now. Should I just knock it on the head? I feel like I'm going to get hurt by this..

Am I overreacting being bothered by this?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/06/2015 22:22

honestly ? you thought this was an ok conversation piece 3 dates in ? Or, in fact, at all ?

You must have met some almighty shit men

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 08/06/2015 22:22

Is he rich, because he must be successful in his dealings with first rate bullshit.

Shagged so much he broke the bed, more like stained it with his aggressive wanking.

Original poster
DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 22:23

no I thought it was bravado bollocks.

OP posts:
Original poster
DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 22:24

and don't forget I was trying to tell myself I didn't want anything serious, so i tried not to care what he said.

OP posts:
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 08/06/2015 22:26

Look
If you are going to spend time with a man, hang out and have sex with him, even casually, you should still try to make sure he's not a complete dick head.

AnyFucker · 08/06/2015 22:28

yep, even the FuckBuddies have to have something about them that you can respect

AnyFucker · 08/06/2015 22:28

actually, he didn't even have potential to be a good fuck either

thank God you came to your senses !

Original poster
DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 22:31

yeh the lack of good shag potential did create a stumbling block for me.

I need to work out why I need affection so much that I don't give a shit who I get it from.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/06/2015 22:32

Freedom Programme

velouria · 08/06/2015 22:38

He sounds a lot like a bloke I was with, female best friend he had dealings with. Mine spent 2 days a week with her religiously, he set out his relationship boundaries on his profile (should have run a mile). He was lovely to me, but quite clear on his boundaries. He added me to fb and it was all pics of him and friend together, alongside flirty comments etc, obviously I was Hmm, and he was immediately defensive.

Said I won't give up my friends (errs wouldn't ask him too), but he had obviously had this issue before. Fuck that, I did ahem eventually go back for a few tries, but lost all desire for him because he was boring, other issues too.

Ohwowserrino · 08/06/2015 22:43

men who have low self-esteem for whatever reason often tend to be obsessed with having and bragging about "cool attractive female friends" to boost them up. It's not sexual, it's more wanting to show the world that they're not losers (they are).

Cancookdontcook · 08/06/2015 22:44

Oh I had one like this. Set himself up as some sort of sex God. On date 1 he told me all women wanted from him was meals and sex. The last woman he had met up with said he was the best she'd ever had. They had done everything but full sex. Yes because he couldn't get it up!!!

TheHoundsBitch · 08/06/2015 22:53

Sounds an awful lot like my ex, run like fuck!

Original poster
DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 22:54

yeah he showed me some pics on FB of him and a stripper he was dating.

you know what's fucked up - I'm sitting here wholeheartedly agreeing with everything you are all saying and I know it as well, but inside I'm secretly wishing he would text and make it all go away and I will feel better.. Confused how will I stay strong when (if) I hear from him? I have no faith in myself at all.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/06/2015 22:56

oh, give over

nobody is that daft

Original poster
DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 22:57

give me a break here! I'm being painfully honest!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/06/2015 23:04

I am giving you a slap break !

OsloGin · 08/06/2015 23:04

Just text him 'think we should call it a day as I'm bored'. Perfect way to undo his bluster.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 08/06/2015 23:07

What Oslo said. A pin to that big bubble ego.

Original poster
DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 23:13

I'm cackling away at the thought of telling him I'm bored after 3 dates Grin

I actually am a bit though - all he seems to want to do is watch TV in bed and cuddle

OP posts:
velouria · 08/06/2015 23:17

All mine wanted to do was cuddle and watch TV and smoke legal highs he was a totes loser

velouria · 08/06/2015 23:18

Boring as buggery and no ambition whatsoever, plus he did have the odd occasion of ed, what was I thinking lol

Charley50 · 08/06/2015 23:19

Cuz he's so spent from shagging senseless all those models and strippers - not!

Original poster
DubbyDubby · 08/06/2015 23:21

oh I've just remembered the last time I saw him he'd trimmed all his pubes off and shaved his balls etc. which I thought was odd considering he then wasn't remotely interested in sex with me. I asked him about it and he said he normally kept himself this way but hadn't got laid for a while so had let it go. I didn't know what to say! :/

it's quite cathartic writing all this - I hadn't told anyone in RL as I know they'd be WTF about it all.

OP posts:
Charley50 · 08/06/2015 23:24

I think he might be a virgin and scared to tell you. And no I don't think you should be the one to deflower him!

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