The female 'best friend'

[DubbyDubby]

Can I get your opinions on this please. I've started seeing a bloke recently. It's pretty casual but I like him. He seems to like me. I'm 35 and he's 36.

So he told me about his best friend, a female, and how they used to shag. He even got her pregnant at one point, but she lost the baby. They see each other all time, cosy pics on FB etc. She's a model (FFS!). She has a key to his apartment etc.

He also told me some story about how stupid her (fairly recent) ex was as he never realised the two of them were shagging even though it was obvious.

The whole thing has really thrown me. I don't know what to make of the 'best friend you used to shag' scenario. He said he hasn't shagged her for a while but he would say that wouldn't he? Don't know what to do now. Should I just knock it on the head? I feel like I'm going to get hurt by this..

Am I overreacting being bothered by this?

Oh God, I used to have a "friend" like this. Right down to the long fingernails! (yuk) He swooped in when I was in an extremely vulnerable place. He tried to talk me into sex by asking if I wanted my cervix massaged, and that "it's only painful to start with, followed by intense pleasure"! OUCH Apparently all women went wild for this, and he had hoards of married women asking him to be their fuck buddy. Whom of course, he turned down.

Transpired the only women who'd been shagging him and complementing him on his sexual techniques were prostitutes.

When I ended my friendship with him, I told him that women really don't like having their cervixes scratched with talons, and that he should stop doing it.

You're well off out of it love. These types of people are a whole different type of vile, in that they actually believe they're one of the "good guys".

Fucking Hell Vernon, my choc chip cookie nearly made a reappearance then !

Ah that's vile vernon that guy needs a fucking brand on his head for women to steer clear!

I know, gross eh? Hopefully I've done our country's sex workers a favour, by informing him that one shouldn't poke at things that should never be poked at. Would be a sort of amateur colposcopy.

Just for the record, I didn't take him up on his "thoughtful" offer. Just something about OP's post reminded me of this particular brand of wanker.

He sounds a talon-ted guy, Vernon.

God imagine if its the same guy. urgggggh

Hi everyone, just to say I've ended it. He sent me a couple of texts over the past few days which I ignored and then I sent him one today saying I thought we shouldn't see each other anymore. so that's done

Thanks for giving me a much needed reality check and kick up the bum!

Go you -you deserve better

Good move

Well done. Seriously, that's the best thing you could have done.

Dubby don't feel bad for wanting affection and attention, we all want that.

He sounds like a bit of a moron tbh.

Good on you love!

I suspect you'd have grown tired of his pointless bragging and binned him off anyway.

Have you considered some counselling, to look at why you'd entertain such a shit-sandwich of a bloke? I found it invaluable.

Yes I'm going to find some counselling to look at my self worth. I think I do often overlook factors which deep down are unacceptable to me, and sometimes I end up with a bloke I don't even fancy physically that much - as was the case with this one - never mind even all the other stuff he said!!

I need to do something to challenge this. I really wish my head and my heart could be on the same page sometimes, I'm so tired of following my heart into situations that just make me unhappy and I end up all conflicted and knotted up.

I didn't see him for long enough to work out his sexuality. He comes across as very aggressively 'male' but I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

aggressively heterosexual I mean. That didn't make much sense.

In my experience, I have found that "aggressively heterosexual" men are often conflicted about their sexuality.

It always gets me into trouble when I say this... but in my opinion men who brag about previous highly unlikely conquests, groupwank in places like strip clubs, need to utilise the services of prostitutes to prop up their flagging cocks, find themselves in MMF threesomes etc are indulging in what is actually closet homosexuality.

Just a thought.