Just found evidence

[ExitStrategyHelp]

Now what?

It's too late for a conversation - long day in the office for both of us.

Unfortunately his loved-up texts (and sex talk) went to DS2's iPad. He is confused. I am angry although not as hurt as you might expect as I am not surprised.

Sigh. I don't have the energy for this….

Bloody hell, poor you and your DC.

I have no words of wisdom, but you will get plenty of wise women here who have sadly walked this path before you.

OP you might not want to, and I understand if you don't, but it might be easier for people to offer relevant advice if they're a bit clearer on things. I'm thinking of what you've said to who and what they've replied and when.

I completely understand if you don't want to or can't face it. We can still offer your support and a listening ear.

You must feel like your worst nightmare is playing out. So very sorry to read about this awful situation. This guy sounds like a low life but he won't beat you. You and your children will be okay and you may even find that life is better once he's out of your way.

I was at primary school when my Dad did this and I live to tell the tale. There was a mess and I was exposed to some nasty stuff but I'm really fine because my Mum was an absolute legend. Sounds like you are too. I just want to encourage you that you're going to be better than fine and the immediate outlook is so not pleasant but there are good times ahead.

Much love.

Ok, sequence of events:
DS2 brings me his iPad last night @ 9ish and says that there are 'weird' messages popping up on it.
2 txt message threads - one between me and DH, about the train he missed and the mate he met in the pub after his conference. The other between him and OW about meeting up, how horny they are for each other, whether or not anal is on the cards, the gift he has for her for her birthday etc etc - all very lovely dovey stuff. Her happy about the 'couply' time they get to spend together.
H comes home about 30 min after this discovery.
I have taken screen shots and emailed them to myself and deleted everything.
This morning hectic school/work morning, so said nothing again.
Further texts between them "good moaning" - FFS, he's 46, she's 49!
This afternoon after I returned from work, I took screen shots again and texted back "stop now, all your messages are going to DS2's iPad, he's confused, I'm not". She's texted back "What?!". I've not replied. Nada from H, but he does not always have access to his phone at work.

It would appear they work together. Quelle surprise!

Yes, the message I sent went to both.

I'm sure he'll explain it to her.

change the imessage (and facetime) account on his ipad so they don't keep coming - it's not too difficult, let me know if you get stuck!

they will be shitting themselves now so at least that's something

God what a mess. He sounds like a charmless pathetic twat. Your poor Ds.
I'd suggest he has a chat to Ds and then goes for a while. For your Ds sake, if nothing else, he should be out the house for a while...

Hope your ok op

Oh that's horrendous. I would reply back to her to say "I am the wife of the man you are fucking, it's not difficult to figure out. Thanks for giving my son a lesson in anal sex", but I'm not sure it's the right thing for you to do (I'm quite hotheaded). He knows you know, he'll be shitting it. Good luck.

fox, thank you, your help would be welcome.
I'm in settings, in iCloud, Account is H's email address.
What do I do know?

I am so sorry OP

Oh no- so sorry to hear the situation you find your family in thanks to a mindless actions of your H...I wish you every strength

now.
It must be bad, grammar is doing out the window.

What an asshole- have you heard from him?

Never needed to do it myself - but doesn't look difficult. Just google "create new Apple ID" and follow instructions

I've don't deal much with apple accounts but I think you would need to create new apple account to get appleID (that owuld be email you use for creating it).

Then log off your IPad and log in again using new AppleID.
I suppose for now you could just log off the IPad so it isn't connected to the cloud/applestore.

What an utter dick. And the fact his son can see these messages. 11 is old enough to know something's not right.
Sorry you're going through this op.

I've just logged out the Cloud.
Seems to have done the trick.
Kids will be home any minute now.

Nope, not heard from him.

What an idiot !

I really hope your son didn't see the messages about anal..
"d"H is a prize dumbs.
Hope he is freaking out

Well if they work together- she will have told him by now and they'll be planning what happens next ...

Awful situation, you sound like a star!
Foxinsocks makes a very point regarding your children.
I also think you need to stay in the house at this present time!