Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 7!!!

999 replies

mollyonthemove · 03/04/2015 20:10

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free Grin. come and join us Brew

OP posts:
Lucy2610 · 24/05/2015 21:19

You are equally welcome here stuckhere - just thought that might be more what you were looking for :)

LastGleaming · 24/05/2015 21:35

Oh that's ace bobbly, well done!!

You're right tsonlyme about the small things. I watch my 2yo and think how sad it is that we lose such wonder about everything as we get older. Take it for granted. I love those random 5 minutes conversations you have with strangers and learn so much about their life. Hope everything goes ok with your dd tonight.

nomorehangovers · 25/05/2015 09:50

Good morning! Hope everyone is well - I slept really well and am just going for a run- GULP. I dont know about others but i find Day 1 easy as I normally feel so awful, day 2 (today) I am full of resolve and day 3 I feel so much better I've forgotten how awful it is and it all starts again. Sorry for the Me me post but once I get a few days under my belt I hope to be more supportive.

Lucy2610 · 25/05/2015 10:22

Morning nomore Just back from my run! Yep remember the cycle of day 1-3 well but soon that will be far behind you Grin

TeapotDictator · 25/05/2015 10:37

Good morning all. :) Sun peeping out finally here in London.

Huge kudos to those at the start of their stopping journey. Having the realisation that stopping is the answer really is the key to unlocking the rest of the journey I think. I'm 10 months AF today, but if someone had told me a year ago today that I should stop drinking I would have laughed in their face (and been mortally offended...). It was only once the thought had entered my head voluntarily, that alcohol might prove to be the reason why my life felt so blocked, that I was able to contemplate everything that lay beyond it.

Flowers and Brew and Cake and Star all round.

Lucy2610 · 25/05/2015 10:57

Awesome Teapot Have a huge Brew and piece of Cake from me! 10 months - bloody marvellous news on a sober Bank Holiday Monday Grin

BadWool · 25/05/2015 11:03

Not exactly a sober one from me ... surprise, surprise! But still hanging in

LastGleaming · 25/05/2015 20:07

Fantastic Teapot, 10 months is some going!! Hope you had a great day and some Cake to celebrate.

How did you enjoy your run nomorehangovers? Yes to the three days, oh so familiar.

Don't usually watch any soaps as it's a time when I'm getting the dc bathed and put to bed but caught some Emmerdale last week. The actress who's Laurel seems to be playing a good part. Has anyone else been watching it?

Keep hanging on Badwool, baby steps :)

Lucy2610 · 25/05/2015 20:23

Last is that the alcoholic mum story line?
BadWool You're more sober than you would have been a week or so ago so that's an improvement right? :)

BadWool · 25/05/2015 20:32

Yes, that is an improvement and also that I'm aware of what I'm doing every moment of every day.

Lucy2610 · 25/05/2015 20:47

Turning on the spotlight of attention is the most important step. You're not drinking mindlessly anymore :)

CornChips · 26/05/2015 06:04

Morning everyone. :)

Hope everyone is well this morning.

nomorehangovers · 26/05/2015 08:18

Morning everyone. Well done Teapot on 10 months and Badwool for sheer determination. Day 2 done but yesterday afternoon I started with the headache from hell and there's no shifting it. Maybe sugar withdrawal. I did my run but to say I enjoyed it would be overstepping the mark! My danger day today and back to work. Normally about lunchtime I start thinking to hell with it, I'm fine, and stop off on the way home. I hope not today. I truly believe this will kill me if I don't stop and I get glimpses of how good life is when I do stop. So why don't I stop??!

TeapotDictator · 26/05/2015 08:45

nomore well done on reaching Day 3. And for going for a run! I remember the first few days so clearly; you're going to feel even better tomorrow. Don't beat yourself up on what's gone before, you're taking steps now to sort this issue out. You're not alone in struggling to stop - alcohol is addictive by its very nature. There are thousands of people out there who haven't had the realisation yet that stopping is the answer, so you're ahead of the game.

It's going to be key today that you plan ahead, particularly on your journey home as you know that it's a trigger point. If you think you're going to start thinking "fuck it", or "I deserve it" then I would advise getting yourself some treats in at lunchtime so you don't need to go into a shop on the way home and go home and INDULGE yourself in other ways. Treating yourself means NOT drinking. Do something nice for yourself today.

LastGleaming · 26/05/2015 09:28

Yes it is Lucy. Only caught one episode and the tail end of another which is why I was wondering if anyone had seen it.

I would echo Teapot in getting some treats lined up for tonight nomorehangovers. You're doing something great and deserve to pamper yourself a bit. Unfortunately headaches seem to be quite normal when stopping drinking.

Lucy2610 · 26/05/2015 09:45

nomore the headache is probably you detoxing and maybe your bodies way of saying this time it's different and you don't want that poisonous sh*t anymore? Wink

CornChips · 26/05/2015 10:14

Oh yes......I recall the detox headaches.... and paracetamol did not touch it. Thanks

Sober treat time nomore. :) Snuggle down tonight with your favourite takeaway and a dvd? Hit Amazon with a vengeance and buy something lovely? (I have just bought one of those adult meditation colouring in books and some Derwent pencils... DH said 'Oh, they were talking about those things on radio 4...' I replied' I don't just follow any old trend you know!'.

Whatever it is, do something lovely tonight. :)

Lucy2610 · 26/05/2015 10:24

Corn I have the Emma Farrarons Mindfulness Colouring Book and Staedtler pencils Wink Mother's Day present this year Grin

BadWool · 26/05/2015 10:30

I bought weight scales a few days ago, as an incentive. I've avoided weighing myself for ages and was horrified to see I'm 11 stone 10! Heavier than I was even at the end of my pregnancy. I'm 5,8" and usually weigh around 9.5 stone. This is all through alcohol as I've never been a big eater and don't crave food. Isn't it terrifying that you can gain 2 stone in weight just through booze alone?

Lucy2610 · 26/05/2015 11:01

It is BadWool. I was playing around on the Drinkaware alcohol calculator over the week-end and my daily consumption amounted to an extra 750 calories a day minimum!! Shock I'm 5,8" too and my post drinking weight is happily stable at 9.5 stone :)

CornChips · 26/05/2015 11:26

Lord, 9.5 stone seems a dream! I am 5ft on the button and currently am 11 stone 11. I was 11 stone 12 the day before I gave birth!!

But my WW is going well. (Amazing how much easier it is to stick to the plan when not drinking a bottle of wine plus a day) and my aim is 9 stone 7. :) I will get there too. I am feeling very good today. Walked for an hour this morning. Have a spinning class this afternoon. Dh is home this week though and is currently making a pear tea cake. Hmm He is a marvellous baker.

Lucy I have Johanna Basford Enchanted Forest. :)

CornChips · 26/05/2015 11:27

PS.... all my weight is on boobs and tum, with sticky legs. I look like a mushroom. Grin

BadWool · 26/05/2015 11:42

I think my alcohol calories are more like 1,200 a day - two bottles of cava must be at least 600 each, no? Food is probably no more than about 700 but enough to take me to the limit per day. On the horrible binges (that I am determined not to repeat) when I drank a litre of sherry a day I dread to think!

I'm going to bore you with my drinking story, in a nutshell!

My dad was an alcoholic which always put me off drinking but even before that, when I was 14, a friend and I decided to 'experiment' one evening with gin from her mum's cupboard. We ended up horribly ill, vomiting everywhere, my mum was called and got the emergency GP out as I was unconscious. I ended up in hospital for two days, felt lousy, could barely eat for a week and decided to NEVER drink again. And I didn't! I had a very occasional glass of lager, usually under social pressure, right up until my early 20s. My father had died rather a traumatic death and I'd been depressed for a while after. I discovered that if I bought a quarter bottle of whisky I could drink it down (neat, from the bottle) and fall into oblivion. I did this probably once every three weeks or so when the feelings of sadness were to difficult to cope with. Eventually I went to university where I barely drank, never got drunk EVER, just not interested and hated the feeling. This continued - I would think i never drank more than 2-3 units a week. Probably less. Then I met my daughter's father when I was in my 30s and I had an ectopic pregnancy which nearly killed me. I became very anxious all the time and was afraid to eat so lost a terrible amount of weight. In photos I am like a skeleton, it is horrible. I was in my early 30s then and sent to a psychologist as I couldn't eat - not anorexic at all, I knew I was so skinny, but when I tried to eat my stomach would clench and I would become in pain - no tests had shown any physical reason for it. He suggested that I drink a 'tot' of brandy before trying to eat, to relax me. And this is where my REAL drinking began. The tot of brandy did help me but turned within about 6 months to drinking almost a bottle a day. Then I got pregnant and stopped altogether. I didn't drink through pregnancy but the urge was by then always there and I longed for dd to be born so I could have a drink. For the first year or two I just had a couple of glasses of wine after she'd gone to bed but since then it has slowly crept up to where I am now - she's 13. The last 2 years have been particularly bad. I used to stick to lager, then turned to wine when my weight crept up. Then I just ended up drinking more wine than I ever had lager. It's only over the last year that spirits have entered the equation to devastating effect emotionally and physically.

And here I am now. Still unable to eat without a drink but unable to control how much I drink. It's not an easy conundrum ...

CornChips · 26/05/2015 12:21

Oh Bad. So much there that you have had to contend with. Thanks have you seen a counsellor? I saw an addictions counsellor about food and alcohol and started unravelling the reasons ... relationships..... my mother..... self esteem etc. It did help, and you sound in such pain.

I want to smack the psychologist who suggested drinking brandy though to relax you...... it's funny because I have had similar. After a very traumatic birth with DS, tearing and some over-enthusiastic stitching by my doctor after labour I have had real issues with intimacy and sex. When I went to the GP to talk about my options she suggested I drink 'a bottle of wine' before sex to 'relax'. Great advice. Hmm

BadWool · 26/05/2015 12:27

It's appalling advice, isn't it?

Hell yes, I saw a CBT counsellor for 2 years and then a psychoanalyst for 3 years (all on the NHS which goes to show what a state I was in!)

Mothers and low self-esteem I can completely relate to.

I haven't eaten a bit of food without first having alcohol since the year before dd was born. If I have no alcohol I don't eat. I've never unravelled that but I think there is probably a genuine stomach problem as I can only eat very tiny amounts at once. The only thing that ever showed up on tests was that my stomach spasms when I eat. The alcohol relaxes that. There are also some medications that help like Buscopan but not as much.

It's a tricky one!

Thanks for listening Corn, you're very kind x