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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 7!!!

999 replies

mollyonthemove · 03/04/2015 20:10

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free Grin. come and join us Brew

OP posts:
Lucy2610 · 20/07/2015 08:17

Well done glad :)

sobermary · 20/07/2015 11:44

Long time lurker here, on Day 6 after a few attempts to be AF over the past year or so. Lucy, thanks for posting that audio link. I listened to it yesterday and haven't been able to stop thinking about Rachel and all the people who phoned in with their stories and support. So so sad. But it has definitely strengthened my resolve, and I will definitely be listening to it again when I start to think it's okay for me to have a drink.

Lucy2610 · 20/07/2015 17:10

Welcome sobermary :) Congrats on day 6! I know how hard fought each day is in the beginning so keep going Star Like you, I have promised myself that if I ever think about having a drink again I will listen to her interviews first. For me this will be Rachel's legacy and I will forever remember her.

LovelyFriend · 20/07/2015 21:45

Hi all - I was hoping for a bit of advice from you all.

I have become friends with a local family - their DC are friends with mine, same school, lovely couple. But the Mum clearly has a big problem with alcohol. The more I see of her the more I realise she is in deep. I am limiting how much time I spend with them because of this. I have been surrounded my alcoholics most of my life and have had my own issues in the past. I do drink now but I really feel very uncomfortable being around drunk people and will remove myself from the situation.

Clearly it's none of my business and I can contiune to steer clear and leave them to it. But I do like them - and now they are inviting us to do stuff with them as a family. ATM I don't really want to put myself and DC in that situation.

But I am very concerned about her. I've noticed she was pissed one day last week at school pick up. I think she is getting worse (but it could be that I am noticing this more as I get to know them more).

So my question for you is - I sometimes see the H without the Mum. I'm thinking maybe I should say something to him - tell him I am worried about her and is he worried about her?

ANd then I think I should just butt out and keep my distance.

Just asking for your opinion - I think she is in trouble and I can't stop thinking about her especially after a particular incident on Sunday where we were having a drink coincidentally - I didn't arrange to drink with them - and she got very very drunk in the afternoon. But I also know unwanted intrusion is an invasive PITA.

I should just leave it shouldn't I?

I really hope it's not too invasive to ask this here.

gladistopped · 21/07/2015 00:10

Tricky. Do you think the children are in any danger? As with my CP hat on, that is my only concern tbh. Sorry but it is. Children are always the first priority for me .

Lucy2610 · 21/07/2015 08:19

Why not speak to her directly? If you are sufficiently concerned that would be my choice and if you have experience from your own life you can use that as your reason for speaking up. It is really tricky and like glad with my professional hat on I am concerned too as there is a potential CP risk.

LovelyFriend · 21/07/2015 09:48

I think the H is pretty on the case with the children and I've never seen him drunk.

The thing about talking to her directly is she always seems to be pissed when I see her, apart from at school drop off which isn't a good time as I'm always dashing off. And I wouldn't undertake that conversation with someone when they are drunk - she gets very very LOUD and incoherant etc, so it would be pointless. If I ever saw her sober and we had some time then yes I could find a way to raise it.

The reason I thought about talking to her H is I see him and we have normal, sober conversations. A couple times he's indicated that she needs a friend.

Lucy2610 · 21/07/2015 16:31

Ahh okay. Then if you feel that is the best approach option give it a whirl :)

gladistopped · 22/07/2015 01:02

yes agree with lucy if you can make a contact with OH then do so :) And well done for being concerned, and worried enough to act on it :)

CheesyNachos · 22/07/2015 17:02

Lovely it sounds really hard. Have you spoken with the DH yet? It sounds like they want some help, especially if he has tried to encourage a friendship between you and his DW. I cannot even imagine how to raise it with the DW, maybe a gentle; 'Is everything okay, you seem a bit sad...'. for me anyway, alcohol is/was a way of trying to cope and 'hide' my utter misery. I hope it goes well anyway. Thanks

How is everyone doing? All pretty much okay here. We have a friend of DH's staying this week. He is someone I like, but who I generally find frustrating. Previous years when he has stayed, he has been very observant of what people drink and comments about every little thing that passes their lips, and I always felt angry and irritated by this. However this week i have finally realised what the issue is....... every single morning he starts the day over breakfast talking about what he did or did not drink the night before.... 'I had one sip of the red, then had half a glass of the white then...' he goes on and on with a list. Last night he had nothing and THAT was the major topic of conversation this morning. So, rather belatedly I figured it out... he is struggling with a drink problem. (duh). He also suffers from depression so I yesterday I talked a little bit about my depression and he opened up a bit about what he is going through. I mentioned that I had 'cut down' on drinking as it was exacerbating my depression and we talked a very little bit about that too. I am not pushing any discussion, just touching on it and letting him lead the pace of conversation.

How are the school holidays going for evryone?

Hope everyone is fine.

CheesyNachos · 23/07/2015 07:06

Morning! [bounce bounce] :)

How is everyone? What plans for today? We have some time at the library followed by Pizza hut planned. All excitement Chez Cheesy!

Lucy2610 · 23/07/2015 09:28

Morning Cheesy! :)
More packing Trip to the tip, Aldi's and Zapper drop off for recycled books and CD's. Did I tell you I was moving? Wink Had a lovely lunch with close friend in London yesterday which will sustain me through the next 6 weeks! Grin She lost her ex-husband 4 months ago to booze and now her 25 year old son has recognised that he has an issue too. Delighted to be able to advise her but makes me so sad ......

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 23/07/2015 10:18

Goodness this thread moves along fast! Sorry I've been a bit slack of late, I had no idea the last week of preschool would be so busy (this is only going to get worse, isn't it?) Grin

So I am hoping to put my new-found energy into tackling the kitchen cupboards and spare room cupboard this weekend! (gulp)

LovelyFriend · 23/07/2015 10:22

Thanks for the kind advice all.
We are away for a couple of weeks now but I will do what I can when I can - gently does it.

Lucy2610 · 23/07/2015 10:50

You're welcome Lovely and hope it goes okay when you do :)
Degust gulp indeed!
Badwool where are you missus? I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are?

gladistopped · 23/07/2015 22:08

waves to all

Onwards and Downwards ( for me - as I am still reducing in weight :) )

Still here, still doing more stuff, still Dry. Despite first week of summer hols with DD ( a teen) I love her but wow! hard work or what :)

Doing SO MUCH STUFF now I am sober :) Amazeballs :)

CheesyNachos · 24/07/2015 11:36

Morning! I am very Envy at you losing weight glad!

Summer hols sober..... it's just fantastic. Not being hungover..... having enthusiasm about activities...... I'm loving it also. :)

How is everyone? Thanks

Ooohhhh....... we are nearly ready for a DRY 8 thread!

Fontella · 24/07/2015 11:45

Hi all,

Haven't posted for a while but pleased to report not a drop of vino has passed my lips since I climbed back on the wagon. I've completely lost track of when that was (will have to scroll back through thread) but it's got to be about a month/five weeks now? I've been so busy I just haven't been keeping track, but the urge or desire to buy wine to unwind most evenings .. has completely gone.

It is so strange how 'easily' this comes, this wine free life, but then I know not to get complacent having gone a whole 8 months without a drink last year, only to fall spectacularly off the wagon and to have ended up drinking possibly more than I did previously.

However, for the moment and for the foreseeable I hope, I won't be drinking and feel so much better for it. The tiredness I remember from the first few weeks I gave up last year, is back. It fascinates me how giving up booze turns me into Rip Van Winkle, but I assume it's the body healing itself after the abuse, or something? I don't know ... but it is a very real condition with me. Stop drinking and start sleeping, is how it seems to work for me.

But it did eventually pass last time, and will again I'm sure, and I'm quite enjoying my afternoon naps, early nights and lie ins. I am fortunate being self-employed and working from home, that I don't have to get up at a set hour to get to work, and can have an hour's kip of an afternoon, if I need it.

So aside from the tiredness, I'm doing fine and not missing the booze at all. Also saving myself £££.

Wishing you all the very best on your dry journeys and see you on the new thread.

gladistopped · 24/07/2015 12:09

where is the new thread?

CheesyNachos · 24/07/2015 12:20

Shall I start one? Back with a link in a mo...

CheesyNachos · 24/07/2015 12:23

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8

Twirl! Shiny New Thread. :)

gladistopped · 24/07/2015 17:26

Well done Cheesy!

Twinky2 · 07/08/2015 12:10

Hi Badwool,
I'm a bit the same hiding cans behind the sofa,my kids find,have no husband its us,hey but family type doesn't make anything different.Support wise.to us that are in an addictive state...I'm waiting for a community detox its been a year of going to hackney life line, diaries cutting down doesn't work for me .so waiting and frustrated that its taken so long.after being honest to ask for help.My GP can only wait so hopefully SepT as im now physically addicted not just psychologically. Oh Well best to wait ride the storm,but there is medical help, but it can be a frustrating long wait..

Petradreaming · 22/10/2015 12:11

Right, I have stopped. This time for good. But I am taking it one day at a time. I don't need it, I don't want it and I don't like it any more. Its made me fat. I hate being fat. I hate being fat much more that I like drinking beer. My stomach has acid in it all the time and I bloated. I hate what it has done to me and I am officially now telling it to do one.

I know I will struggle, I know it will be hard at times but I am going to do this. Miss it already.

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