I started a thread some time ago as a support for people who suffered sexual abuse as children. It went on for quite some time and I think people found it helpful. It fizzled out for various reasons but I'm thinking now is a time to get it going again.
I was abused as a child, by two family friends. My family entirely ignored it, and when I tried to talk to my mother about it she basically told me to shut up. It affected my life massively as a teenager and led to some self-destructive behaviour in my twenties. But with the help of my massively supportive DH (without whom I don't know where I'd have ended up), MN, and some really great friends, I feel like I've dealt with it to a large extent and it no longer has such a hold on my life.
This thread is intended for people who want to talk about their experiences with abuse - either themselves, or those they love. You can share as much or as little as you like. You can just come on and say you're here, you don't have to contribute anything. This will be a safe space to chat to people who understand what you're dealing with. Hopefully it will help.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
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Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse
cailindana · 10/03/2015 14:17
Hi Everyone..
I am so glad I found this thread. It never occurred to me to search for something like this.
cailindana Thank you 
I'd love to type out what happened in my life and have all of your opinions and maybe advice if that isn't too much to ask of you all?
Thanks bisleyboy I'm sorry to read you are having a tough time lately.
I have reached the end of my brave face and actually lying to myself about how I am. I'm on ad's too but my gp has suggested Zanaz. Although I know it can be addictive. I really don't need to add that to my list 
Hi all Im a survivor.
I was abused by my step brother when I was 7-8 for about a year and only just starting to 'deal' with it. I have a psychiatric session coming up (when I finally get the appointment) but it looks as if they are not that great
Hope your all well
I was abused by an older sister and her friend (we are all girls), quite extreme stuff went on. I know my mother knew it was going on and when I brought it up a few years ago when I was 40, she blamed it on 'the 16 year old babysitter' and told me to get over it. She has since cut me off (as have siblings due to her being the 'gatekeeper') but that was also due to me confronting her about her physically and emotionally abusing me.
I had EMDR last year and it brought up a strong sense that I would lie there and shut up so they could get on with it and my mum wouldn't hear. I was protecting my mother in a way so she didn't have to deal with it. I always blamed myself especially as my mother constantly told me I was filthy, disgusting and evil. Sister was the golden girl who used to beat me up for sneaking out in her clothes because I was never bought any and had to wait for her cast offs. My sister is only 4 years older than me so I have tried to excuse it as childish experimentation but it was far from that. I have a photo of her and me at the time it was going on. I only came up to her chest, was stick thin and looked so sad.
It has blown my mind how fucked up my family is tbh. I totally normalised them and the dysfunction until I started therapy. I sometimes feel like I am damaged beyond repair but I am trying to repair myself gradually by learning to actually like myself which is bloody hard.
I am married with 4DC and suffer from severe anxiety and have a label of PTSD but that is because I have had other traumatic stuff happen to me as an adult.
I get flashes of extreme rage that my mother has made me out to be the bad guy after I brought this up and has made herself out to be the victim. That has hurt me much more than the abuse.
to all who have had to experience this.
OK so here goes!
I was sexually abused by my older brother from the time I was 9 till around 12 years of age.
I didn't know it was wrong at the time and I've never said this out loud but I enjoyed it 
obviously not in a sexual way but I suppose in a messed up comfort way. I sometimes went looking for my brother in the house so I could have the attention. I feel sick about that part of it
I came from a big family and it seemed to go unnoticed and I never told anyone.
I had a great relationship with my Mam but couldn't tell her. My father was an alcoholic.
I can remember my brother teasing me one day,taking my bike away from me while I was out with my friends. He was 17 at the time so hanging around the street with his friends. I whispered to him if he didn't give my bike back I was "Gona tell Mammy you touch me and make me touch you"
He laughed in my face and said "I'll just tell her the truth, that you climbed into my bed and touched my privates first"
I was devastated thinking it was true and hated myself.
Eventually he stopped abusing me when he had his first girlfriend.
My life spiralled out of control. Skipping school, drinking, taking drugs and lying about everything. The only thing I couldn't do was sleep around.
I couldn't bare to have anyone touch me and I'd feel sick if I was with a boy and I saw his penis.
The saddest part is no one noticed not even my Mam.
I never looked for help. I thought I'd got off lightly, I just had a few issues with sex big deal. People had it worse than me.
I've had a lot of bereavement the last few years I lost my parents within four months of each other and I had pnd. I coped pretty well but recently I discovered my three sisters knew about the abuse.
They didn't know the full extent, they were shocked to hear how bad it was.
It was a weight lifted that someone knew and believed me!
I told my brother i wanted nothing to do with him again and that I had the support of my sisters.
I haven't heard from him at all.
My sisters now just want it to go away, swept under the carpet again.
I think this is why I feel low. I'm kind of back to square one.
I want help but I'm so afraid. Its going to mean I'll have to report my brother and I just don't think I'm strong enough to cope with the fall out.
I just want to feel happy and content in my own skin.
I have a dp and two dc, they are everything to me. I want and have to get help for their sake too.
I'm sorry my post is so long.
Its good to type it out though, so thanks if you made it to the end 
Omg lucy that mirrors me 
That has just blown my mind. I can only put it down to that I was hungry for attention as both my parents were busy leading other lives with there new families. How sad. How terribly sad. My DP has drummed it in to me that I was NOT accountable as I was so young. It's what has finally made me go for help as I was disgusted in myself. Looking back I started having sex dreams at that time and wetting the bed and no one batted an eye lid (both are classic abuse signs)
I'm so angry for me as a little girl - who was protecting me or any of us? If I could go back in time I would rescue me and look after me. I'm NC with my mum and very little contact with my dad. Neither of them
Know. There was also a later incident when I was about ten with my step uncle, my dad was oblivious to that too, I could actually see him from where i was.
Tbh I don't know if this thread will be good for me, I'm sat here fuming now
Sorry
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