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Original poster

Unwanted advance made by a dad on the school run

216 replies

urbanIsland · 24/02/2015 11:40

I talk to my son's(5 years old) best friend's parents often on the walk to school. Today the father asked if I would like to meet them for coffee after dropping them off. i said yes but when I got to Costa with my baby in the pram there was only him there. I asked where his wife was he said that she was not coming and he had a present for me but I could not tell his wife about it. I was now in catatonic shock as he handed the present to me. I managed to say I am going and just left. I didn't throw the present at him, I realised to my horror when I got home that I had it in my hand.

I do not know what to do now, I wanted my son and theirs to go to each others houses and play together etc and enjoyed talking to both parents on the school walk. The mother will surely think that I did something to prompt this advance if I tell her and I need to clearly get it through to him that he is completely wrong and never to do anything like that again.

Any ideas how best to fix this without losing my son's best friend?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 24/02/2015 11:49

Are you sure he had bad intentions? Maybe his wife just couldn't make it.

And what was the present?

pictish · 24/02/2015 11:51

Well what was the present?

CaptainAnkles · 24/02/2015 11:53

If it was a huge sparkly dildo, I'm not surprised you were horrified.
If he had brought you a cake or something, then you may have overreacted.

Floggingmolly · 24/02/2015 11:55

Was his wife with him when he / they invited you? If he was alone; did he really say "my wife and I"??? Even if it was just him by himself, though, you could hardly have expected that...

What was the present?

freelanceconundrum · 24/02/2015 11:57

What's the present and can i have it, if you don't want it?

Jackie0 · 24/02/2015 11:57

Does that qualify as " an unwanted advance" ?
Its a bit odd but I wouldn't rule out the possibility that he was just being friendly.
What was the present?

Lj8893 · 24/02/2015 11:58

Well from what your have said i cant see any type of advance on you??

what was the present?

PlumpingUpPartridge · 24/02/2015 12:00

Ok, calm down.

If it was a misunderstanding, he will be as embarrassed as you. If it wasn't a misunderstanding, you've hardly responded positively and so he will have some indication that you're not interested.

You need to tell us what the present was!

CatsCantTwerk · 24/02/2015 12:00

Don't keep us hanging op. What is it?

MorrisZapp · 24/02/2015 12:03

Blimey.

ashtrayheart · 24/02/2015 12:03

Also needing to know what the present was!

nomoneyhoney1 · 24/02/2015 12:05

Must be amazing to induce catatonic shock.

TaurielTest · 24/02/2015 12:06

Oh come on all you "what advance?" people, a gift that comes with a "don't tell my wife" and is handed over at an unexpectedly one-to-one meeting sounds iffy (though there are possible other explanations).

I think you've sent him a clear enough message by leaving. Hope you can both file it under embarrassing thing never to be spoken of again.

PeaceOfWildThings · 24/02/2015 12:07

What a strange way to behave. Both of you. Are you sure this isn't an episode of chick lit you're trying out? Hmm

Why did you run away?
What was the gift?

Try to meet up with the wife for a coffee. Sounds like she could do with some friends.

fattymcfatfat · 24/02/2015 12:10

I want to know what the present was

CaTsMaMmA · 24/02/2015 12:11

what is the present.....please come back and tell us

and it is most def odd behaviour, how many of you would be happy with your dh handing over secret presents?? "...don't tell my wife" being that most obvious comment on a happy marriage!

Original poster
urbanIsland · 24/02/2015 12:12

It feels like a jumper, I haven't opened it. He said he thought I was very beautiful and also the don't tell my wife bit. Why I have I suddenly been put in a position where I can't tell a person who was becoming my friend something??

OP posts:
Dilbertdoes · 24/02/2015 12:14

If you mention this to the wife, surely your son's friendship is over, and the 3 of you will be ignoring each other on the school run to the end of primary? The next time you see the husband, could you quickly tell him that his behaviour was totally inappropriate and that the 2 of you should just forget about it. Then make sure that you're not alone with him again.

Zucker · 24/02/2015 12:15

Hand it to his wife next time you see her. You don't have to do what he tells you!

CaTsMaMmA · 24/02/2015 12:16

A jumper? or a woolly corset??

I think you need to make it abundantly clear you have no interest in him or his inappropriate secrets.

And don't accept invites for coffee from "them" again.

...any hints from the other school gate mothers that he has done this sort of thing before?

Agrestic · 24/02/2015 12:16

Open it!!

MonstrousRatbag · 24/02/2015 12:17

You have to get the present back to him, I think, with a clear indication that you aren't up for any kind of behind-the-wife's-back relationship. Then keep your distance. I wouldn't tell her, in your shoes.

Kewcumber · 24/02/2015 12:17

Knitted gimp mask?

SomethingOnce · 24/02/2015 12:18

I bet it's a knitted basque. Sexy.

differentnameforthis · 24/02/2015 12:21

Are you sure he had bad intentions? Maybe his wife just couldn't make it.

Erm, he told the op not to tell his wife about the present...I don't think that screams good intentions!

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