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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dear VNXH

502 replies

WellWhoKnew · 11/02/2015 15:55

Dear VNXH,

I am pondering about pondersome things. What are you doing, I ponder?

The SHL is contemplating the latest bit of fuckwittery from a legaltastic viewpoint.

I merely remain navel gaze in a reflective sort of manner. My mind continually mulls over and over, in a ruminatory sort of manner.

I am pleased to report that fuck all has happened to day except I got on with some shit.

Woman, thoughtful.

OP posts:
GoooRooo · 14/02/2015 15:21

Wow, just wow. Have read both previous threads in one sitting and was gutted for you that there was no final ruling in Jan. Everything crossed for March.

CookieDoughKid · 14/02/2015 17:11

Just checking in. VNXH or whatever your new label is. You must be bricking it. Really. Bricking your pants no?

bobs123 · 14/02/2015 17:51

I think it's Mr SW who will be bricking it!!!

PattyPenguin · 14/02/2015 18:39

Another lurker delurking. I've now read the two previous threads and firstly, want to agree with PPs about your writing, WWK, it is brilliant, and secondly, want to add to the chorus of ethereal support. Thirdly, having read yesterday's post, I wonder whether Mr SW suffers from an intellectual Napoleon complex. Since short people who pick physical fights with larger people tend to come off worst, one can perhaps hope that the same outcome is likely here.

acatcalledjohn · 16/02/2015 22:28

Delurking and shamelessly place marking. I found out about you in Mrs C's threads (hello FormidableMrsC! ) and finally found the time to start reading through your infamous threads. It has taken me a good week to get to this stage. A few things:

  1. You are awesome.
  2. I'm glad you and MrsC have become a team of utterlyformidable laydeez.
  3. Mr SW, you are a prize cunt. You really ought to befriend Mr WT, you sound just perfect for each other.

I have done a lot of Hmm and Shock reading it all. A rather disturbing yet hilarious tale. Another farce of the finest kind.

Is he an undertaker by any chance? Only, he seems so very adept at digging holes.

darkness · 17/02/2015 07:48

Was there something dubious about the way VNXH got his degree then? Not by his own hard work I take it ?

Jessicalovessunshine · 17/02/2015 08:43

Also delurking in support x

Original poster
WellWhoKnew · 17/02/2015 13:49

Dark He may have relied quite a lot on the intelligence, wit and wisdom of his 'useless' wife! This is the man who is asking a judge for me to repay the costs of my education as he considers it a 'special' contribution to the marriage Hmm that needs to be returned to him.

I think he's just planning to cut off my head if he fails to persuade a judge that this is reasonable...

He's not an undertaker! He's an expert on communications...something we all find hilariously funny. His latest communications are pretty shit it has to be said.

OP posts:
IthoughtATMwasacashpoint · 17/02/2015 13:55

He has totally lost whatever plot he might have once been possessed of.

Nevergrowingup · 17/02/2015 17:06

An expert ?? Just thinking that if he has a LinkedIn profile, just imagine what skills you could endorse him for. Now, to begin with, we'd have to extend the range of categories Grin

acatcalledjohn · 17/02/2015 17:46

Expert on comms? Hmm

He clearly missed his calling to become an undertaker.

darkness · 17/02/2015 17:56

Ah ! would this perhaps be something like the dissertation that demonstrated the huge size of his intellect (providing it was looked at through a magnifying glass) that he had to be helped with or assignments that got reassigned ?
Still must be difficult to concentrate when your wearing your underpants on the outside.

I think your education is making a marvellous contribution to your marriage - and it is quite obviously being returned to him...isn’t the basis of a curse that it will return eightfold...so keep on giving it back to him - after all he did ask...
Its quite nice to be able to say
"He really doesn’t deserve you" ..and "He really does deserve you"... both in the same sentence and mean both of them.

Hobbitwife001 · 18/02/2015 10:25

Ha! Loved that quote about the curse, Darkness, will try that on my very own"master" VooDoo here I come.
Love and strength to you WWK , my own little witch doctor, KOKO babe.

SistersOfPercy · 23/02/2015 12:22

I've quietly followed this for months, but wanted to say WWK, you are amazing and this thread should be published.
Flowers

AcrossthePond55 · 25/02/2015 20:16

Hope all is going well and you are taking a well-deserved rest until the next 'visit' with Grumpy Gudge.

ChameleonCircuit · 25/02/2015 20:23

WWK - surely you've heard of the definition of an expert? A has-been under pressure! Rather apt in VNXH's case, I think.

Hope all is turning out well.

Original poster
WellWhoKnew · 25/02/2015 22:49

Dear STBXH,

Here I still am: getting on with shit. As I just do. Whether that is the shit you put on my doorstep, or just shit happening. Or just me, coping, best I can to pass a turd, that is you, that refuses to be flushed out of my life.

And best I can, I'm learning about shit, and coping with flushing you out of my life.

As someone I can, not can't, remember who pointed out - sometimes the highlight of your day is having a very satisfying dump.

Sorry to be so crude.

But they do have a point.

I'm married to a turd. You stink. Everywhere I go, everything I do, is contaminated by you. It's like I'm constipated with my divorce.

I remain a sewerage worker.

Yet one who is welcomed by those who don't like prevailing smell.

Please, do fuck off now dear. You remain a unwelcome and unshiftable shit. One that just can't be flushed away.

In the interim, I deal with your shit.

And in the interim, I get on with shit.

And following a dump, I get on with my day.

Aside from my divorce, life is going okay. I mean, it's really going okay.

Still, sadly, unemployed.

But not useless. But rather valued.

Sorry 'bout that.

Woman, getting on with shit (but not you).

OP posts:
toastyarmadillo · 26/02/2015 04:21

Chin up WWK, when's the next court date set for. It's nearly over, I can't wait to hear the rest of the court results xxx

fannyfanakapan · 26/02/2015 08:35

you sound low WWK. Not long now.

Remember, shit is what is left over when we have taken all the good out of something. We have to eat to sustain ourselves, but our body takes what it needs and gets rid of the rest.

You need to do the same - take what you have to take, and then let it go.

Dont keep it in too long, dont let it out too early. Just nice regular habits.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 26/02/2015 14:32

Keep your pecker up wwk, it's been a long haul for you but the light is there at the end of the tunnel, soon you'll be having a full colonic and shifting the shit forever xx

AcrossthePond55 · 26/02/2015 17:28

Sounds as if you're going through a rough patch. Remember, that just like shit, 'this too will pass'.

Head high, strut your step.

Gibbsbasement · 26/02/2015 17:58

I think it's time for musical number...

I'm gonna wash that -shit- man right outta my hair

Keep strong, koko

Gibbsbasement · 26/02/2015 17:59

Damn strike through fail Hmm

Izzie595 · 26/02/2015 18:09

And here's another song Grin

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WZNyxo1fgQ

pootlebug · 26/02/2015 18:26

Delurking to say hold your head high - you've come so far. Every day you get through is one day closer to getting shot of him completely.