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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dear VNXH

502 replies

WellWhoKnew · 11/02/2015 15:55

Dear VNXH,

I am pondering about pondersome things. What are you doing, I ponder?

The SHL is contemplating the latest bit of fuckwittery from a legaltastic viewpoint.

I merely remain navel gaze in a reflective sort of manner. My mind continually mulls over and over, in a ruminatory sort of manner.

I am pleased to report that fuck all has happened to day except I got on with some shit.

Woman, thoughtful.

OP posts:
thiskiwicanfly · 11/02/2015 23:16

Oooh goodie - a new thread with lots of space for more posts from the war front correspondent... KOKO WWK - it can't go on forever.

Rowanhart · 11/02/2015 23:25

Have read your posts in one sitting during slow labour over last 3 days (section in morning).

Just wanted to say not only are you a beautiful and clever writer, but have also handled yourself with great dignity and gusto. I've a bit of a girl crush on you and SHL (it does stand for Shit Hot Lawyer?)

I can't wait for final ruling!

Andro · 11/02/2015 23:48

SHL does indeed stand for shit hot lawyer Rowan, best of luck for your section tomorrow!

KiaOraOAotearoa · 11/02/2015 23:51
Smile Go girl!
mistlethrush · 12/02/2015 00:48

I do hope you get VGJ for any of the court appearances that VNXH requires you to attend because you have the temerity to comply with the court order.

JsOtherHalf · 12/02/2015 06:53

You are an absolute legend. I know this has been horrible for you, but you are almost there.

auntpetunia · 12/02/2015 07:07

I near fainted when I saw the words giving up on your last thread!!!
KOKO you are truly amazing.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 12/02/2015 08:19

At least I was in good company having a panic attack when I read the last words on the other thread. . . . then I kept reading and realised that everything is as it was. Keep on, as you were.

Hoping that February and March are better months for you and not so good for your VNXH

Meerka · 12/02/2015 08:55

good luck tomorrow rowanhart!

WWK ... you're amazing. Final haul now to the top of the mountain.

Go girl!

diggerdigsdogs · 12/02/2015 09:04

Yay!!

latersbabes · 12/02/2015 09:48

KOKO x

AShiningTiger · 12/02/2015 13:45

Still following, still supporting.

AcrossthePond55 · 12/02/2015 14:36

Ssnnniiiifffff!! Ahhh, nothing beats that 'new thread smell'. Grin

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 12/02/2015 22:13

Delurking to highfive.

I too should like to pay VNXH a visit. I know a trick involving lobsters and a pound of streaky bacon...

ChrisMooseAlbanians · 12/02/2015 23:50

I have spent the best part of two days reading your threads. The legal jargon is slowing me down Grin
you are frankly, an absolute DIAMOND.
what a wanker Mr Sw is!
Waving pom poms. You are awesome Grin

P,s, please write a book. I'll buy it!

Bogeyface · 12/02/2015 23:57

Hoping that part of the legaltastic pondering is "do we send him to prison or do we continue to let himself take himself to the cleaners on WWK's behalf"

CruCru · 13/02/2015 10:17

Ah, here you are.

Original poster
WellWhoKnew · 13/02/2015 13:44

Dear VNXH

I have some news. Welcome news. Marvellous news.

Apparently, you are not 'Master of the Universe' and you can just fuck off. It's been confirmed by my solicitor. So take me to court, babes, g'won...it would be so lovely to see you again, looking like a twat.

Woman, whose day has just got a bit brighter. Specially as the sun has just come out and it's stopped raining.

OP posts:
FuckitAndStartAgain · 13/02/2015 14:04

Excellent. Another relatively silent watcher!

Jux · 13/02/2015 15:16

Wahey!!!! Grin

Do you think he will?

Original poster
WellWhoKnew · 13/02/2015 15:47

No idea Jux whenever I make predictions, things immediately become unpredictable! Given up 'crystal-ball gazing' as my new years resolution and decided 'navel gazing' is more productive!

Still working on giving up the husband though...1 month, 4 days.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 13/02/2015 17:28

Lovely!! It's just so satisfying to picture him all red-faced and frustrated. 'Master of the Universe', indeed. Ha. He's probably not even 'Master of his own Domain' (a la Seinfeld). Pfffftt!!

Anniegetyourgun · 13/02/2015 18:38

The most important thing is, will he remain master of his own wallet? Hopefully not.

Original poster
WellWhoKnew · 13/02/2015 23:13

Dear VNXH,

It's Friday and I can't switch my little head off. Would you mind helping?

Yes, I know you do. You've always moaned when I ask for anything.

Why is it you think you're the 'smartest guy in the room?'. Is it because you see the judge as a muppet? And why do you think the four legally-trained people are simpletons?

Is it just me that isn't fathoming this?

Still pondering.

'Cos I'm struggling with it all.

After all, I know how you got your only degree.

I know how I got mine. And the one after that. Oh, and that other one as well.

Woman. Just pondering.

OP posts:
YvyB · 14/02/2015 11:00

Dear WWK's VNXH

May I refer you to my letter of 13/08/14? I feared for you then. I fear for you now. More.

The day of reckoning I warned you about is drawing close now. But my, how much fuckwittery has passed since August. And all of it yours. You must be feeling ever-so-slightly-teensy-bit-squirming-in-your-seat apprehensive.

So, I thought it might help if we took time to count your blessings.

  1. You are still alive. Worrying as it must have been, your heart condition has not done for you. Yet.
  2. WWK did not take up your kind offer of a static caravan so you do not have to have an 'akward' conversation with GG about why your wife has spent the winter in a damp, cold, unhealthy hovel whilst you retained your home comforts. Phew.
  3. You appear to have received some 'assistance' with your form E so that it is now somewhat closer to the truth than your original attempt. Whilst I'm sure GG would have had some sympathy for a man whose administrative skills require his ex-wife to sort out his car tax, bare faced lies do tend to trip one up when one is dealing with legaltastics, don't you find?
  4. Ummm. Nope, can't think of number 4. Still, the first 3 are still worth being grateful for.

Anyhoo, what with it being Valentine's and all that, I thought I'd just drop you a line in case no-one else sent you a card.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
WWK's amazing
I still fear for you.

Yours
no-longer-wedded-to-a-failed-master-of-the-universe-with-a-dick-on-his-head.