Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

Welcome from me too Sometimes I agree with the other ladies wise words - stick with your month goal and see how you go. Coming up 17 months here and I can happily say it does get easier. There is no gilding the lily it is tough in the beginning and as with any change the discomfort and growing pains are worth it. I honestly would not go back now even if you paid me! (well okay it would depend how much!)

Molly another from me for all you put it with from your mother. Jeez! Lucy gives good advice - that's a lot to process.

Sydney - yay for 300 days!!!! So cool. And to everyone else - be it one week or a year.

Hi Sometimesslummy! I second what others say about borrowing trouble from the future. At the beginning - and sometimes now - I just ask myself, can I get through the next hour without a drink. I do that and the hours mount up ... into days... Into weeks. And your default becomes NOT drinking. And it's so freeing, I can't tell you!
Aiming for getting into your bed sober works quite well. Even though it meant for me that bedtime had to be 8pm quite often!

Another advocate of yoga here. I've only done 3 classes and I'm rubbish at it due to lack of flexibility, injured hip and general lack of coordination. But I'm determined to keep going because I know it will be worth it.

Good weekend to everyone.

Oh my molly, you are a very patient, forgiving person. I would struggle to handle someone with that level of self absorption without exploding Hope you're ok and can come to terms with all that she's thrown at you lately.

That's fantastic, 300 days Sydney, well done!!

Welcome from me too Sometimes. A month seems like a good plan.

Good job on telling your parents rb and glad they were supportive, how's the non smoking going too?

Struggling a teensy bit with the non drinking and smoking. Dc haven't been well and ds taken it badly because of his asthma. Up countless times the past few nights with him coughing and hacking and crying. Badly craving a large bottle of fuck it with a side order twenty pack of why nots? Tiredness is a huge trigger of mine I know. Mentally had to give myself a just for tonight I'll stay off it talk last night, feeling antsy again tonight.

brokensleep can you go to bed as soon as the dc's are in bed? Sleep is my last resort sanctuary space :)

Ah sorry to hear your DCs are poorly, broken, I find tiredness makes me crave a drink too, agree that bed can be a good alternative, with a hot choc and something good to read or watch! I hope they are better soon.
Finding it hard not to have a glass tonight myself but I knew I would, Friday is hard. Having a diet tonic with ice and lime and watching Kirsty and Phil! DM is coming on Sunday and dreading the no drink conversation with her.

Morning all,

Welcome sometimes....I too am in the early days and started off doing a month, I didn't think too much about what would happen after that as that was too much to process...I went to bed very early most nights with large mugs of tea and biccies or chocolate, my bed became a bit of a sanctuary for me and it was somewhere that I didn't associate with a vat of wine...you have to do whatever makes you feel better....I know everyone is different but knew that carrying on was, is the only option for me, moderating wasn't possible and had failed too many times making me feel very sad and low.

I managed a night out last night af at friends for dinner, had a few comments come my way and managed to swat them away like annoying little bugs, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting and conversation soon went onto something else...

Wishing everyone a great weekend and sending out positive vibes for people experiencing those fuck it moments, I still puff away on my e-cig, can't give up everything!!

I always go to bed with the dc, nowt unusual there. Dd cosleeps and wont settle unless I'm beside her so I watch Netflix or read while snuggled up :) Slightly better night last night, hopefully a sign he's on the up.

Well done for getting through last night SometimesSlummy. First weekend is one of the hardest as you have these unconscious habits that you automatically think of reaching for a drink. Does get easier as your thought process begins to change and you replace those habits with something else. Most of the time now I think to click the kettle rather than pour a glass of wine.

Good for you Sunny, I take it was the first time you'd been af around them?

Meant to be going out tonight and I can't be bothered. Bloody knackered but I may force myself as I don't want to let people down at the last minute. Can see me leaving early though.

Broken glad to hear your DS had a better night :)
Nothing wrong with leaving early from going out tonight. We will be too!
Hope you are all treating yourselves well today

Sunny congrats on last night too. It's never seems to be as bad as we think it will - thankfully :)

Yes, well done! the first few times are always hard, but as people get used to it, no one will bat an eyelid. You don't owe anyone any explanations.

Hello, Lucy very kindly suggested I come here and say hello. I have popped over here from the Damp Feb thread. I did all of Dry Jan 2015 and it was great, but since then I have been damp with some AF days. And some very damp days. I am finding the "internal chatter" when I have had a drink is bothering me so am thinking I might try to go dry again. It seems much easier to just stay dry tbh

Yay glad welcome :) Congrats on you DJ and welcome to being dry where it is much easier tbh. No internal chatter once the habit is replaced and that is a joy for me I'm sure some of the other ladies and gents will be along later to welcome you also

Hello Lucy yes I think I may well try to do another month. And then another? We will see. But for now, one day at a time I think. I found Jan so ...restful? No worries about what I had done etc. Even moderation and more dry than damp days (as I have done for the last 14 days) seems a bit ...tempting fate? I sort of feel like I may want more.

Do you think I can count the damp days as "blips"? I have only had a few drinks, on a few evenings, since the end of DJ. Or am I fooling myself?

You count it however you want! There are purists who would say you should reset the clock but I feel you should do what you are happy with and that is going to keep you motivated :) Some count the total days minus the blip days so let's say for argument's sake today is day 45 but you had 3 blips - then that would be 42. Others will come along with their views too.

Hi glad! Restful is the best way to describe sober really. No worrying about the next drink, planning the next night, deciding that you'll spread the drinking out/not drink before/eat first etc. The only thing to think about (for me) is when to run , what to read next and how great the nights sleep will be! after 15 months I still wake up gleefully happy with my awake-ness!

Just do it one day at a time for now and you'll be amazed how those days add up. Hey, you did a month already!

On another note....call from the mother last night. A friend of hers has died so she was quite upset understandably. The she started on about her will again and wants to change it so my sister now gets nothing instead of the quarter she had decided on last weekend [scream] I told her to put it away and forget about it. I then replaced the phone and forgot about her for a while. New defence will be to just chat nicely then get on with my life!

Happy valentines days everyone.

molly strategy that me and sister have about DM (she's still in touch I'm not) is that they don't talk about me or if she starts my sister just ignores her until she stops. Works for her and saves her getting trapped in the middle

Sounds like a good plan Lucy Wow. Not had that many days deliberately not drinking since I was either very ill for 6 weeks or pregnant . Which is actually worrying tbh and food for thought. it really IS embedded in everyday life, now, isn't it ?

Me neither before I started trying to moderate - which lasted a good few years before I finally waved the white flag of defeat. It is socially accepted and expected but I think the tide is beginning to turn :) We're the advance party

Welcome glad, I also moved over from damp feb thread after doing dj, one month wasn't enough and am carrying on. So much more peaceful in my head right now!

Happy valentines everyone, hope you're all having lots of lovely chocky!

Molly that sounds like a good plan for your Mum - hope it helps make things a little less fraught.
Well I am on Day 9 here and off to a wedding - am driving so perfect excuse.survived V day mainly doe to DH abstaining with me but must admit I felt quite deprived! Anything to remember the long goal when I feel like that (and all those embarrassing moments)!
Au have been really conscious of how much drink is advertised this Valentines though- glasses of fizz everywhere and supermarkets advertising it alongside all the choc - so pervasive
Hope everyone has agood weekend x

Morning all, welcome to Sometimes and to glad. :)

I had a Difficult Night Out last night; went into Soho (a trial in itself on a Saturday night) to the theatre, was with the friend who had cancelled before because "you're not drinking any more and I feel like getting wasted". (In case this makes me sound about 15, we are in our mid-40s!) Last night we went for something to eat and then to see the play, and then for ice cream afterwards. He was trying to be supportive but after the theatre he was really struggling to know what to suggest and clearly just didn't 'get' that I was perfectly able to go for a drink without actually drinking alcohol. And then after we said goodnight there were all sorts of odd texts I didn't really understand regarding his intentions towards me, and the whole thing just left me feeling odd and weird and uncomfortable. I got a cab home which I regretted as it took forever with us stuck in traffic, and I just felt odd and weird, sat in my car sober as we drove through the craziness that is late-night Soho. I felt like I was leaving my old life behind or something, and just felt sad about it all. Lots of stuff going through my mind at the moment, including thoughts such as I don't know how I'm going to face trying to date sober when I finally feel up to it. It's going to be a whoooole new kettle of fish and I just hope I'm strong enough to stay AF. It feels highly unlikely somehow... :(

Morning all Major success last night - and will hopefully provide inspiration for those who are newer to the journey :) Went to family party where the focus was booze and a bit of cake thrown in for good measure. First one in a good six months. At almost 17 months was more anxious about not smoking than drinking and when I got there I did not ONCE feel deprived. I wasn't interested in what others were drinking and completely unphased by being surrounded by people on the lash. In fact one lady who was, I'm guessing, slightly older than me was making a real tt of herself quite early on and I thought 'god that would have been me and thank god it's not anymore .....' Hurrah!! Hope that helps sometimesslummy* and enjoy the wedding.

x-post Teapot hang on in there lovely! Sounds like a tough night but doesn't mean they will always be like that. Try not to 'future trip' about dating just keep focused on today yes? Plus next time could you drive? Would that have helped the weird feelings in the cab - which would have made me wistful tbh. If you were driving you'd have maybe felt empowered? I've driven in to do's in Soho since I stopped and there is plenty of parking and it has helped to counter that 'Soho feeling' triggered my life is over thoughts that this part of London can prompt?