Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

We can do it Broken! Kick all our vices one by one....

Teapot, I think it takes longer than six months to get used to such a big change. Alcohol becomes such a part of our lives it takes so long to go through all lifes experiences (for lack of a better description!) without it so you'll get those little thoughts of...'oh, that'll be different now!' for ages. And if that is too much for your 'frind' to handle, well then it shows you how much of a mate he really is.

Evening all :)
Sunny it does pass and I second what Teapot said. There are fleeting moments but not whole chunks of time and actually now drinking would spoil things for me so it's flipped on its head!
Also Teapot all I can say is d*ckhead!

Hi Sunny! I agree with what Lucy says. I really don't feel like I'm denying myself anymore. I feel like I've gained freedom.

I do get the odd pang - I'm just back from my FiL's funeral. He was sadly a very toxic person - also an alcoholic who has left a horrible toxic legacy regarding inheritance etc that could cause serious damage to his kids etc. My DH has been very angry and I did have a thought today that it would have been good if we could have gone to the pub with him today whilst he is off work. But in actual fact seeing what his dad was like & how he died alone and essentially unloved strengthens my resolve to continue keeping alcohol out of my life.
I have also managed to calm him down when he was about to send a very hurtful email that I think he would have seriously regretted.

Hello everyone! Good to hear such positivity. I am still fighting against the ruddy fags. Never have more than four a day but somehow can't quite stop completely! it's mad cos I can go without any at weekends! I think it is that little rebel not quite ready to stop

I have stopped for years before and will again though. Probably on holiday when I won't be able to be alone.....

Had a bit of a moment with a few mothers at school this week. They are planning a get together at the local Wine Bar. Fair enough but I asked if there was anything non alcoholic - er probably orange juice I was told. I didn't think this was totally acceptable - they all get a million choices of wine and I get britvic! anyway, it is still going ahead there, so I'm in a quandary. I think they think I'm some radical anti booze campaigner - I just want the choice they have!!! we'll see.

Dd had some results back today, her cervical swab is borderline,, and she is having her full examination tomorrow. I'm hoping all will be, if not OK, treatable . My vertigo is loads better now -phew.

Still catching up with Love in recovery. Loving it!

have a good evening everyone.

Thx all, maybe in will stay away from the blogs for a while, I am daft to think it is all going to be plain sailing right? And why is it that I am always so much more upbeat in the morning and more doubtful of long term goals come evening....plus neighbours just invited us over for a party, drinks and a few nibbles on Saturday night?? My reaction before January - whoop whoop an excuse to get pissed - my reaction now - oh god not sure I want to go.....:(

It is hard at the beginning to be social - and easy to feel a bit resentful. Just always remember that you will be one feeling fabulous the next day . keep going x

molly - fingers crossed for the rest of the results.

Sunny - do what feels right, and as the saying goes, take it one day at a time. You might feel like devouring blogs tomorrow, but today it doesn't feel right. I got a lot in the early weeks out of reading blogs on Soberistas. It's not so much that I want to read that everyone's having a great old sober time of it; more that in reading other people's stories I identify with them, with who they are, what kind of drinkers they were. And when you read about people having blips/relapses or whatever, nobody ever says "Well that was great, what was I thinking giving up the booze?" I read this thread on MN for months before deciding to stop, and I think I was slowly filtering the thought into my brain that I'm not different after all to other people who've chosen to stop drinking. A year ago, I'd never even contemplated stopping. I wouldn't have believed anyone who would have told me that a year from now, this would be me, posting on this thread. It has really helped for me to see that there are so many other women out there who were drinking a bit too much, a bit too often, a bit too unable to stop once they started. And that those women were stopping and were finding it a revelation.

I know it's important for me to keep reaching out/reading blogs/posting and reading this thread, I have found that there is no judgement placed on people and a complete understanding of the high/lows whatever stage were at...I have known for a few years now that I didn't want to drink but couldn't fully admit it to myself and really didn't want to say goodbye to my wine. I didn't realise then that I would be able to find such support in the way I have and that has been such a positive revelation

OOOOOooooooohhhhhhhh. My book 'Sober is the New Black' was shortlisted for the final in its category, for the Bookbzz Prize Writer Competition and VOTING IS NOW OPEN.

Please vote for me!

After clicking the link below to the voting page, scroll down to find me. I'm 7th on the list.

Click this link to vote
opst.co/1zywLHG

Support from you and your social circle very much appreciated. Thanks in anticipation. Rachel x

Well done haggis for getting through a testing time. Sobering seeing a life that has ended that way and the repercussions left for the ones behind. I hope your dh is ok too.

I think you're doing fantastic sunny, you'll find what works for you. Daytime really is full of the joys of no hangovers, wayhey positive 'I can do this thoughts'. Maybe night time you have more time to think and when most of us usually imbibed. Such a cliché but it really is one day at a time. Try not to think too much about long term goals, you'll cross that bridge when you come to it all you have to worry about is today. Says me thinking about the summer tonight

Fingers crossed for your dd tomorrow molly

molly I'll have my fingers crossed for tomorrow too
sunny this thread is representative of all of my experiences online where getting sober is concerned - supportive and non-judgemental. As for the drinks on Saturday my rule of thumb is if the main activity of the event is drinking - then I swerved them in the early days. Why make it harder on yourself than it need be? If you feel you have to go - arrive late, leave early and take a favourite AF alternative with you.
haggis that sounds really tough for your family and I hope you're ok?
broken I quite enjoyed Last Orders - but I read in the very early days of stopping! If I can help you out with any terrifying medical facts then just shout

I'll bear that in mind Lucy . I did totally love the idea of a place where grown ups could play children's games like hide and seek. Sounds so much fun!

Read dying for a drink last night. Bit like yourself Corn and skimmed through the childhood issues. Really identified with how so much of your life and interests is pushed out with alcohol, when you stop you have to learn to fill that hole as there is that one thing (booze) that would fit perfectly again.

Also with the learned helpless thing. In my case it's not not beginning something as I'm scared of failure. More start something with the greatest of enthusiasm and fervour and lose interest before the final conclusion of it, maybe because I am scared of failure or not being good enough compared to the ideal in my head? I don't know, I've always laughed it off and said I get bored easily or am fickle but there is something else going on there. It's a pattern I've begun to recognise a lot lately that I've done throughout my life be it relationships, courses and even learning to drive. I get so far and then stop even when I'm doing well at it. Yes the medical facts are frightening. So glad I've read them now being off the booze for a while. If I'd read them while drinking or just stopped a day or two it would have been panic city about withdrawal and damage I've done.

Yay sobermum!!!!! I did not know it was you who wrote that... that is a favourite. I like the 'then and now' approach. I have finished Dying for a Drink so will re-read your book again. Have voted too. :)

I agree about scary medical facts broken. I agree also about filling the hole. I am still searching for something that fits. Actually......now I think about it..... I did not drink at all until I was 24. I was actually intensely involved with a hobby that I was very very good at, until an accident put paid to me being able to pursue it (It was very physical). I went through a year of rehabilitation and utter grief about the loss of my hobby- and that is about the time when I started drinking- and really drinking. (My DM would bring me my painkillers and a couple of gin and tonics as I was bed-ridden for several months) Hmmmm..... I am literally just making that connection now.

molly fingers crossed.

to everyone.

Quick question ladies. The job I went for before Xmas and didn't get - well it's been re-advertised haha the person they recruited must have left or not been right. Would you apply again? Just really interested in different perspectives :)

Give them a call and just have a chat! no harm in asking at all.

Thanks molly My fingers are still crossed - any news?

she's been referred for a womb scan . She does have BV, but the doctor wants to check for anything else. I'm now thinking pelvic inflammatory disease and apparently polycystic ovaries were mentioned. At least things are being done.

molly as you say things are being done - and PID and PCOS can be managed really well these days

Molly - really glad they are looking seriously at everything for your daughter. She's lucky to have you.

Lucy - I agree with Molly. Give them a call and see would they like you to apply again.

Morning all, just checking in, all good here, have downloaded and am now reading Jason vales book. Have had a few lightbulb moments so far and his view on alcohol being an additiction just like smoking rather than an incurable disease is IMO so true. Just hadn't thought of it like that before and this thought has really lifted my spirits, so for now feeling very positive...have a good day everyone :)

Lucy I would give them a call, what have you got to lose?

Glad they seem to be really focusing on finding out what's wrong with your dd molly, hope it's not too long to wait for the scan.

Did they give you any feedback at the last interview Lucy? I too would go for it and give them a bell if it's a position you really want.

Did you decide if you are going to the neighbours house tonight sunny?

Feeling a bit meh last night and today. Restless, bored and worried I'm becoming a bit of a hermit. Everyone is out to the pub to watch Ireland play in the six nations today but I'm not strong enough for that atm. Bought a quarter bottle of wine to go in my beef last night and when I opened it to put in, oh my god the smell was so evocative and not in a bad way. Can't even hit the gym to burn off some energy as I've hurt my leg. Woe is me :)

Brokensleep - well i have to excuse of no babysitter and youngest doesn't like to be in house for too long on his own, so will pop over for a hour and then leave them to it, would still rather not go at all as dreaded time of the month arrived so would happily crawl back into bed right now :(

Sorry having a bit of emotional day here today (thank you hormones!!) my Eldest DS is having an op on Monday which I am really not looking forward to, having GA etc and I'm rubbish with stuff like that. Anyway a good friend of my DS'S dad at church just offered to cook all our meals for a week to take the pressure off us. I was/am so overwhelmed with such kindness and my first thought was sadly that we (I) wasn't worthy of such a kind offer, don't deserve it etc, what does that about how I feel about myself, don't know what to say...and breath, sitting down with cup of tea now, sorry bit heavy :(

Hope you're feeling better now sunny. A lovely offer from him and obviously you are worth it. I could be talking rot but I think a lot of stopping drinking is learning to value yourself again. I've noticed that most people don't slip into heavier drinking without other emotional, faulty ways of thinking about ourselves or mental issues like depression or anxiety going on. It can be painful to face up to the reality of it without the emotional crutch of alcohol. Best of luck with your ds's op tomorrow

How is everyone doing? All quiet here.

Sunny - how did DS's operation go? Hope you're okay. Be kind to yourself, there are a lot of emotions floating around in the early weeks and you're still learning how to handle them without your familiar 'prop'. (I still find this sometimes.) Did you go to the party?