Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

to you too Corn. Be kind to yourself.

It was me that went to the Allen Carr seminar. I would recommend it, in that it worked for me. It does sound as though you know you want to stop drinking and in fact are very successful at it (almost all of the time ) but it would be good for you to feel very positive about the decision. I can understand what you are saying about your DH, but surely it would be better to have a more realistic idea of who the other is. Nobody is perfect and you shouldn't think that if he knows you are not perfect then somehow you are not as 'worthy'. (Mind you, don't listen to me, I'm in the throes of divorce )

If you do decide to go, I was given a couple of £60 off vouchers and would be more than happy to pop one in the post for you.

Teapot ...

Corn, my father-in-law went to a Allen Carr seminar regarding weight loss. Worked for him!

... weightloss is next on the agenda.... [licks pencil. tucks behind ears]

Just want to echo what everyone has said. I reckon your dh will be really supportive - it is hard to get that first step of telling people put of the way, but you will feel so much better when you do .

I'm ill at the moment. Shivery, headache, all that stuff . Milling it by phoning downstairs for everything

Nothing much to add Corn, many wise words above but glad you have got straight back on the horse so to speak

Was thinking this morning how much easier it is to apply liquid eyeliner without the hungover shaky hands. Yes it's the small things in life that make me happy

Hope you feel better soon Deirdre

hugs Corn

I think I read somewhere that falling off the wagon is good because it makes you realise all the negatives again and makes you stronger in the journey forward - thought this was an interesting / positive way of looking at a blip??

onwards and upwards

Thanks everyone. :) That is a good way to look at it. Yesterday I had so much self-shame and disappointment that my stomach hurt. Feeling better today. A good night's sleep and a project deadline helps.

That is the other thing...... I have been working my socks off lately. Not-drinking might see my career reinvigorate a bit.

How is everyone else doing? Sorry it's been all about me.

Oh...... Ds has a favourite toy and there is a 'girl' version (for want of a better word) Yesterday he asked me to get my computer onto Amazon. When I asked him why he said he wanted to buy me the girl toy so I can cuddle it when I am feeling bad.

That strengthened my resolve too. My poor son who is only 4 noticed how awful I was feeling.

(I bought the toy).

You're a big softie eh corn?

A week in now and my sleeping's finally getting better. Waking up ok now without a massivly cloudy head! Apart from that I'm not really feeling the effects of giving up, which I take to be a good thing! And, much to my suprise, my wife is still off the booze too.

Oh that is the cutest thing Corn bless him.
Today I got told 'I only love you a little mummy, not very much' as I refused to buy dd something in the shop. Bear in mind this is just turned 2yo and not a stroppy teenager. I burst out laughing but much prefer what your ds said

Corn it's supposed to be about you . we all need to let it out and talk about it. I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for this bunch of threads! isn't it amazing how children take so much onboard and we don't even realise it?

Back to me Still feeling I'll and grumpy and tearful. It must be a little bug thing, but it feels so much like when I was two days into 'not drinking' - that horrible weepy exhausted state. Took the day off work and just flopped about feeling pitiful. Ridiculous really.

Ah well, at least I know it's a 'proper' illness - all those times I was 'just really tired' or 'picked something up I reckon '

Glad to hear the sleeping's kicking in. It really makes a difference!

have a good evening all (anyone else old enough to remember 'Dixon of Dock Green'?)

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I've been slack with posting, got visitors and it's all a bit hectic. I've also got some throat bug now, what happened to the perfect state of health I was supposed to exist in après booze eh....? Still, very very happy to have got through first Christmas and New Year booze free.

Welcome newbies great to see you! Keep posting.

But wait, Deidreken are you Biggles ?

And poor Corn you were scratched by the very sneaky evil Champagne Fairy. Excuse my Australian but I really do think champagne is the Fucking Snarky Bitch of the alcohol world. Dressed up all fancy and fine, supposedly sophisticated but still rank poison underneath. Tricks you and trips you up. Think of Heathers or Mean Girls, meant to sneakily seduce you into really losing an important part of who you are. When I lived in Sydney that was what I drank, in fact I thought nothing of taking a bottle or 2 to the park with a friend for the afternoon. Funny how we never seemed to notice we were doing exactly the same bloody thing as the derros on the corner with their bottles of rum! [shakes head in disbelief at own stupidity]

Don't let it get to you and I agree with the others, tell your DH you're giving alcohol the flick. He may surprise you and join in too, that's what mine did!

You'll find the hold alcohol has gets weaker as more people know you're not drinking. You don't have to give any reason you're not comfortable with but you do need to say it out loud.

Can't believe I'm coming up to 9 months sober. Never thought I'd be able to do that without also actually producing a small person at the end of it. Noticed another mini bonus today - walked past the eye drops in Boots and thought 'oh! Not had to use those in a while!'

Hi everyone. Oh Chips your post just about broke my heart. Only because I know how much you want this - and how amazingly well you are doing. But bloody hell I would find it beyond tough if I hadn't told my DH and those closest to me that I really wasn't drinking and really really needed not to. And I'm saying that as someone who didn't tell her DH the whole story - and still probably haven't. Willpower alone just isn't enough pet. Teapot's advice was fab and as for Sydneysideup's description of champagne. So spot on!!!! Christ but I was the biggest pain in the arse when tanked up on that stuff. Awful awful awful.

But you are right back on it, looking at how to play it differently and get some extra tools. You are amazing!

Well today I am Melbournesideup - waves to SydneySU and apologises for bringing blimmin rain from Blighty for THR weekend. Made it through 26 hours of travel and emotional reunion with my sis sans alcohol. She had a lovely tinnie of alcohol free Amber Nectar and some ginger beer awaiting me as per my rider and whilst she might have felt a bit sad about not boozing with me, she didn't say. In actual fact, she said she was glad I was off the booze as she's trying to lose Weight at the moment and she knows she will drink way less because I'm not. So far so good. I know not having boozed through the flight and first night will also help with the jetlag.

So - about to get up and have a wander round East Melbourne whilst she's at work. Big un-MN hugs to you all.

Sydneyside Had to chuckle at the eye drops - I thought I had eye problems before, tried everything and kept eye drop sales very high in Sydney guess what 4 months AF and eyes have magically got better!

Happy new year everyone!

Was doing really well (52 days) but then slipped!

I feel dreadful, I have let everyone down who I got support from, everything was working out

Why did I do that? some tatty art of my brain must have thought that was a good thing to do.

My plan so far is to go to a local meeting at 10

I am the first one up, but am sitting here waiting for the backlash reaction

Please advice

xxxxx

Oh no mortil, what were the circumstances surrounding it as in did anything trigger you to drink? That disappointment is gut wrenching but all you can do is own it, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Maybe write down how you're feeling today so you can look back at it next time you feel like drinking? Well done for going to a meeting this morning, excellent idea. Hope you're ok.

Your description of champagne made me giggle Sydney even though I've never got on with it myself having reflux problems. Heartburn in a glass.

Enjoy the holiday Haggis, your sis sounds lovely.

Hi mortil are you okay? I know that feeling well! Who will you get backlash from? What happened? What was the trigger and what were you thinking at the time? Good idea to go to a meeting. Please keep writing and let us know how you are. Go easy on yourself. Easier to say than do I know so well this week!

I like that description of champagne also sydney Champagne was always my weakness. I will add 'fucking snarky bitch' to my internal dialogue to go with 'Aisle of DEATH, dum dum duuuuummmmmm ' as I walk past the booze aisle.

Have a great holiday Haggis.:)

I am away this weekend at a damned work conference/workshop so I will not be online that often. I am taking a bunch of sober books and am planning to use the time 'alone' (without family anyway) to reflect and to think about my sober toolbox as has been suggested. The work will be intense (intense and dull, great combo) but I am planning a sober treat of lunch at my favorite Vietnamese restaurant. I will also be thinking about how to tell DH and friends etc about not drinking... as also you have all suggested.

Hope you all have a great and sober and happy weekend.

Evening! :)
Haggis have a fab time!!
Sydney I shall never look at a bottle of champagne in the same way again
Mortil we've all done it - onwards!
Corn mm - talk of Vietnamese makes me salivate .....
Well I've come to share a bit of good news! It would seem I wasn't supposed to get that job before Xmas for a reason. Have just snagged 1 day a week volunteering at a local drug and alcohol rehab unit and am hoping it will lead to bigger things so absolutely delighted Bloody made me want to drink though as happy stuff is a bigger trigger than sad stuff! Shall have and instead. Hope everyone has a great evening and Deirdre I remember Dixon of Dock Green

Can I join please ? On day 5 and struggling. Hard to fill my time during the evenings when I could have a drink in my hand and everything goes faster. My Ds is with his dad for the weekend and the nights are long.
I am off to a few exercise classes tomorrow and the same Sunday. It is just the bloody nights

Hey Lucy that's great news! You'll be brilliant!

Haggis you'll be spoilt for choice for coffee bars in Melbourne, they take it very seriously down there, so in fact a lot of socialising can be done booze free pretty easily. And spend your extra money on clothes and shoes instead, the shopping is great. Just remember the extremely annoying weight limits on your flight home. Last time I was in Aus I had to send one of my bags freight I'd got so much stuff to bring back

How did the meeting go Mortil?

Happy Friday everyone.

Hi Ivedunnit crossed posts!

Huge well done 5 days is great! First Friday evening was a bit tough for me too. Exercise classes are a great idea, as is sleep at first. I never used to drink in bed so in the early days I used to find it helpful to take a bath, brush teeth and get into bed early, even if I then watched a movie or something for an hour. It helped switch the triggers off.

Take it slow and remember what you're gaining - freedom from guilt, shame, hangovers and all the rest. And you're on your way to a calm, happy, healthy you.

hiya im back got through the weekend dispite ds having chicken pox and now dd has it
normally id be reaching ffor hte wine but my dh brought me a stove top whistling kettle and a teaa set so i can make my tea feel more special and im not missing the booze
am on day 9 and doing much better than expected
off now to catch up on the rest of the thread

mortil

draw a line under it, work out the triggers and keep brainwashing yourself with sobriety info

go easy on yourself too and think you could still be in a much worse alcohol fuelled place than you are now

hugs

Ivedunnit. Well done and welcome - the first 10 days were the hardest for me and it got MUCH easier after 21 days

I also tucked myself into bed super early like 7pm to get through the cravings - I kept well clear of the sofa and tv which were my big wind down with a drink triggers.

Good luck :)