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Original poster

Blunt question: were you sexually active at 14?

288 replies

Mintyy · 11/10/2014 21:20

As you know I'm not a pervy hairy-handed trucker.

Hopefully you will feel able to answer.

If you were sexually active at 14, can you say anything about why?

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 11/10/2014 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Darquesse · 11/10/2014 22:24

Not full sex but heavy petting at 14 and did the deed two days after I turned 15. Don't regret it at all but chalked up a fair bit of experience between then and 17. Usual tough childhood and sexual abuse as a teen made me seek 'love' through sex.

Original poster
Mintyy · 11/10/2014 22:25

I haven't totted up but lots on this thread have said it was totally the norm amongst their peers. Are they all criminals then Confused.

OP posts:
WhiffOfBath · 11/10/2014 22:25

Mintyy, I really don't think you can take (some of) the experiences of 101 messages on Mumsnet as a reason to lower the age of consent. If you started a thread canvassing the views of people who waited until they were, say, over 18, you'd probably find just as many of them. Would that mean the age of consent should be raised?

Hmmmwhatnow · 11/10/2014 22:26

Yeah the age of consent rule only really rears its head when abuses have occurred so for that reason I wouldn't want to see it lowered.

Hassled · 11/10/2014 22:27

Not at 14, I was sexually active at 15. And this was a long while back - I am well old. As to why - I loved him, and he was a nice guy.

Notso · 11/10/2014 22:28

Yes, regretfully I lost my virginity at 12.
I really don't think the age of consent should be lowered.

Original poster
Mintyy · 11/10/2014 22:28

I'm only musing Whiff, no need to get worked up about it. Its a rhetorical question.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mintyy · 11/10/2014 22:29

We have quite a high age of consent vs the rest of Europe don't we? I seem to recall.

OP posts:
PillForgettingIdiot · 11/10/2014 22:29

No, but I was by 15. I would have done it sooner if thats when boyfriend and I had met. After DH, he was the greatest love of my life. I look back on that time very fondly.

Wadingthroughsoup · 11/10/2014 22:29

I'm not sure, to be honest. I didn't have PIV sex until I was 17, but I did engage in a bit of heavy petting from an earlier age- probably 15 though, I think. By heavy petting, I am referring to mutual masturbation, I guess.

Comito · 11/10/2014 22:30

Plus no-one wanted to go out with me at 14.

WhiffOfBath · 11/10/2014 22:31

Sorry - not worked up (apols if it came across that way). Just seemed a strange idea. I'm more bothered by the idea of 14 yr olds having sex at all, regardless of the age of consent!

Brittapieandchips · 11/10/2014 22:31

No, but I was too busy having huge dramas and conflicts with myself about everything, including who and what I found appealing, so didn't even kiss anyone 'properly' till I was 16, when I went by myself to London to meet someone off the Internet. Of course, within literally five minutes we were doing everything short of sex, and within six months I lost my virginity with an older man off the Internet, which was a really bad idea.

So, yeah, would have probably been a good idea to have learned to meet people IRL first.

Original poster
Mintyy · 11/10/2014 22:34

I'm really aghast at the idea of 14 year olds having sex too but it obviously happens! My best friend (who I hadn't met at the time, I met her when we were much older) was on the pill at 14.

I look at my dd and I can't get my head round it!

OP posts:
Pooka · 11/10/2014 22:36

Looking at Europe, the age of consent range from 14 to 18 more or less. Norway and Netherlands 16. Ireland 17. Malta 18, France 15 and so on. In general I'd say 14 less common than 16 in Europe (though haven't totted up).

I would not be happy with the age of consent being lowered.

Muskey · 11/10/2014 22:36

Lost my virginity when I was 19. 31 years later I am still with the same bloke

NewEraNewMindset · 11/10/2014 22:36

No. Lots of snogging but didn't lose my virginity until I was 16 and then I only had sex every now and then, didn't have a regular boyfriend until I was 28!!

Pooka · 11/10/2014 22:42

Looking at a table, 14 not the norm/average for consent globally.

Quite a lot of South American countries and ex Eastern European (Romania, Bulgaria for example) have age at 14.

Pretty common for there to be differing age if consent for boys/girls.

I'm happy with 16. Though dd is 11 and frankly right now I'd be happy with 21!

While a number (though I'm not convinced it's anywhere near a majority) of adolescents may have sex before they are legal allowed, I don't think that's a peruasive reason for lowering the age of consent.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 11/10/2014 22:42

No I was still playing with my dolls and still believed in Father Christmas at 13 honest. I was very young for my age
I got to 16 and just changed over night. I lost my v card at 16.5.

LEMmingaround · 11/10/2014 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

momb · 11/10/2014 22:48

My ED is 14 (nearly 15) and nowhere near ready....except two of her friends broke up because he'd been unfaithful. 'Snoggng someone else?' I said. 'No, oral and fingering' she replied. Scared the whatsit out of me. Cue long talk. She know the mechanics, but doesn't feel the urge and absolutely hasn't met anyone she feels that strongly about. 'But then A and B weren't that passionate, just good friends really. I was shocked that B went so far with some girl at a party' she told me.
Still not good enough reason to lower the age of consent IMO.

Cricrichan · 11/10/2014 22:52

No. I was absolutely in love with my boyfriend but all we did was hold hands. I loved the romance of it all but had no interest in it getting sexual. At 16 I remember a boy at the school disco putting my hand on his willy and I was grossed out.

Lost my virginity to my ex fiancé at 21. We'd been together for 6 months and it was lovely.

girliefriend · 11/10/2014 22:53

No - I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20! Lacked confidence around boys and was quite immature in that respect.

I think 14 is very young to be dtd, it makes me sad that so many girls in such a rush to grow up Sad

I really hope my dd waits at least until she is 16yo.

MrsEames · 11/10/2014 22:57

No, 16.