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Original poster

Blunt question: were you sexually active at 14?

288 replies

Mintyy · 11/10/2014 21:20

As you know I'm not a pervy hairy-handed trucker.

Hopefully you will feel able to answer.

If you were sexually active at 14, can you say anything about why?

OP posts:
cruikshank · 13/10/2014 20:01

BeyondTheLimits, I don't know if I fall into your category (I was doing (happy tinged with Catholic guilt) sexual stuff from age 12 but didn't have PIV sex until 16) but I was definitely not an early developer. I didn't even really have any tits to speak of until I was around 16. I was just horny!

cruikshank · 13/10/2014 20:02

Oh yes and I didn't get my first period till I was 16 either so actually was quite a 'late developer', physically.

VeryStressedMum · 13/10/2014 20:09

Lost my virginity at 14. I was ready, well, I was ok with it and still am but my eldest dd is 14 and she's a baby. 14 is way too young.

MumOfTheMoos · 13/10/2014 20:10

Yes, because I was curious and wanted to move on from being a kid.

Never regretted it.

hellymelly · 13/10/2014 20:15

No. I hadn't kissed anyone, never mind anything more. I first kissed a boy at 16/17 (nearly 17 I think) and was a virgin until I was 23. I would hate for my dds to be having sex at 14. 14 is a child, not a woman.

Original poster
Mintyy · 13/10/2014 20:23

I knew there were some girls at my school who were sexually active at 14 and I was a bit about it tbh.

I wonder if those of you who were, and who don't regret it, feel the same way about your own children losing their virginity at 14?

I'm having lunch tomorrow with my friend who was having regular sex with her boyfriend at 14. Am going to ask her about it. Her son is 14 and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be happy if he were having sex now. Will be interesting to see what she has to say.

OP posts:
FingersOnLips · 13/10/2014 20:27

Yes, at 14 lost my virginity to my first love, he was a year older, we were besotted with each other..no regrets about the sex itself but wish with all my heart I had had better advice about contraception...no sex ed whatsoever and no one to turn to when I fell pregnant, by this time he didn't want to know and dumped me when I told him. My parents forced me to have a termination and I think my heart will always be a tiny bit broken by it all..My DD is now 15 and I hope she knows I'm here for her whatever she needs.

thecatsmother72 · 13/10/2014 21:39

No. I was 15 and still not really ready TBH but we ended up staying together for 3 years. Then he left me forward girl who worked on the dodgems at the fair. True story.

thecatsmother72 · 13/10/2014 21:40

FOR THE girl. Not forward girl.

MadameLeBean · 13/10/2014 21:49

Yep lost my virginity to my first love at 14. He was 2yrs older. All safe and careful. Broke my heart though!
...
10 years later we met again and got back together that was nearly 5 years ago Smile

slithytove · 13/10/2014 21:57

Yes. Desperate for male attention. Didn't really understand what I was doing and regret it thoroughly.

slithytove · 13/10/2014 22:02

Would be devastated if either of my kids repeated my experience.

MissMole · 13/10/2014 22:28

No.
Enjoyed kissing but petrified of anything further and was unattractive to most boys.
Was rather coldly relieved of my virginity when I was 21.
My eldest is 15 and seems very young and hopefully uninterested in sex. I'm waiting to see what the next year brings though.

bigTillyMint · 14/10/2014 15:31

What did your friend say, Mintyy?

Original poster
Mintyy · 14/10/2014 17:37

Ah, the lunch didn't happen Tilly Sad.

Said 14 year old son of my friend was taken ill and school and she had to fetch him and take him home. Infact, I helped her out with that because he's at one of the posh schools round here and she lives miles away, so I gave her lifts to and from the station. But we only saw each other for about 20 minutes and we didn't get on to her 14 year old sex life! I'll ask her when we reschedule.

It's funny, she's one of my most prim and proper friends now.

OP posts:
yummypickledeggs · 14/10/2014 17:40

Mintyy- I'm not sure why you want to ask posters this though someone said you had a 14 yr old child?

It doesn't matter what anyone here did or didn't do. What's important is for you to develop the kind of communication with your child (DD or DS?) so you can talk about these things and - if you think it's what you want- say how you feel about sex at 14. If you feel it's too young then say so. Give the reasons and have an open dialogue about it.

Thumbwitch · 14/10/2014 17:41

No, but my sister might have been. We weren't really close then though so I'd have no real clue about why, except that she is a people pleaser and would do a lot to be accepted. I know she started having "boyfriends" around age 12, but she was at a mixed school, so "boyfriends" could mean anything.

Original poster
Mintyy · 14/10/2014 17:42

I wanted to get a handle on how common or usual it is. Have had some interesting replies over the last two days, no need for any further contributions thanks.

OP posts:
CheeseEqualsHappiness · 14/10/2014 17:42

Yes. I don't know why other than I felt like everyone else was and I would be left out. It was an awful mistake and left me with wounds which only now are healing. I couldn't tell anyone and got called a slag at school. Sad sad times and I would never want to be a teenager again.

I thought you did it to stay with boys. I did it for him even though I wasn't ready,

flowersinthewind · 15/08/2021 21:26

No way nobody ever fancied me at 14 and at the age of 47 l haven't had sex for the last three years l have actual cobwebs around my bits

MrsKeats · 15/08/2021 21:29

No

Halloaten · 15/08/2021 21:54

Yes. He was 18

Tripletipplev · 15/08/2021 21:58

Said child must be about 21 now! It’s an old thread

RantyAunty · 15/08/2021 22:10

Yes. I don't even know how I feel about it today. He was 4 years older.
There's no shortage of older guys looking to prey on young girls.
No, the age of consent doesn't need to be lowered.

Germolenequeen · 15/08/2021 22:13

Nope - hadn't even had my first proper kiss (that was at 15).

Lost virginity at same time as serious boyfriend at 18.

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