Blunt question: were you sexually active at 14?

[Mintyy]

As you know I'm not a pervy hairy-handed trucker.

Hopefully you will feel able to answer.

If you were sexually active at 14, can you say anything about why?

myfurby - I know what teens are like these days, believe me (I'm a teacher) but we live out in the sticks and my two don't go anywhere! DD17 was supposed to be going to a party tonight, but "couldn't be bothered"!!! What 17 year-old couldn't be bothered, not me!!! I can't even ground the buggers, they don't go anywhere!!

I went from absolutely no interest (sindy dolls and ponies) to fully sexually active between the age of 14 to 15. No long term boyfriends. All 1 night stands in dodgy places some with men who should have known better. I remember only 1 lad who actually worried/cared about me.

continued this behaviour until I met my now DH at 18.

reasons why? Other people. I had a normal happy affluent upbringing with good role models but I met a girl at exactly the time my hormones hit who was "wrong side of tracks" started hanging about her rough estate dtinking 2020 and was way too naive. After that it became normalised behavior.

Looking back I found out she had been abused throughout childhood by a family member so she was just leading me on a path she knew. Not her fault.

I'm not bothered by it, some things horrify me in hindsight but I still think sex doesn't have to be linked to love.

Not sure how you could prevent it. Maybe monitor friendships and give her the knowledge and confidence to make good choices. Don't make sex taboo.

no I waited until I was 16!

Yes. Because I knew I would still be with my bf at the time years later. Now at 30 he is my Dh

Same as babiecakes was 12 and seriously pressured into it by my 'friend' and a 15 year old, so we would be seen as grown up.
I didnt have a great upbringing and continued with risky sexual behaviour until ...... !?

Not at 14 but at 15 I was sexually active with my female best friend. I did stuff with a male partner when I was 16 and had intercourse for the first time with a man just before I turned 18.

No. Nothing was further from my mind, it would have freaked me out. I waited until I'd met the man I went on to marry. I was 17 and he was 19.

First snog and a bit of touching age 14. First proper boyfriend age 15, he was a year older and we lost our virginity to each other after going out for 6 months (was just 16 by then). It was a positive experience for me - we stayed together for another 2 years and I still look back on him fondly.

No, but wanted to at 15 and dtd the instant I turned 16 - had been with my boyfriend for 3 years.

No but everyone else was and I only wanted the chance...which was when I was 15. Sad but true.

Yes. I had been with my then boyfriend for 6 months. I felt ready, I suggested it and I procured condoms (free). At age 15 went to the doctors (with my mother) and got the pill. I can't talk for anybody else and I can't say it was right, but I'm not unhappy with the decision I made then.

No

Uh no. Though there were a handful of girls at school who claimed to be sexually active.

However, I remember a friend of my sister, who was a year younger than me, asking me and sis to come with her to meet a guy aged about 28 who had been pestering her so she could tell him to fuck off.

I wonder if the age of consent should be lowered then?

Yeah. I didn't have a clue what I was doing but I too was a goody two shoes and wanted to shrug that image.
Wish I hadn't tho, had a few wild years after that and didn't 'settle down' properly until I was 21

I dunno! But it seems so much the norm to be under 16.

Sorry for killing the thread

Yes. Most ofy friends too. Exploration seemed to start in year 9/10 and the 'thing' was if you'd been with your bf 3 months it was ok to do it. I was v up for it and lost my virginity to a bf I only sort of liked. Clocked up another 3 by my 15th birth day. Then had my first true love who was a virgin and wish id waited. I always liked being in with the in crowd but I was also genuinely ready.....I had been masturbating since 10/11.

LEM, lovey, I don't think it was you that was out of order. And I certainly don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.

No - I couldn't get a boyfriend for love nor money until I was 17 (minger :( )

I was 14, bf was 15, we planned it! Totally consensual and he was a virgin too

Mintyy, I don't think it is the norm. I think the average is still around 17 (in the UK). IMO, if the age of consent were to be lowered, legislation would have to be put into place to protect younger teens.

I don't think it should be lowered just because a lot of teens don't wait. I don't think that a 14 year old sleeping with a 14 year is necessarily that bad. I think a 30 year old sleeping with a 14 year old is awful though, and in my mind that's the point of the age of consent- to criminalise adults sleeping with children.