Work Stress? Err don't think so mate!

[thenamehaschanged]

I can't copy and paste a link rather annoyingly - but this is my follow on thread from my original How far can he take the stressed from work excuse?

It burst at the seams with all the fantastic MN support I received and so I have started a new one as I carry on my journey of divorcing my very abusive husband.

More texts, more pleading - I have lied to and deceived him this past month which is very unfair. All he wants to do is persuade talk to me.

I just sent one back saying that he is harassing me, I have asked for no contact, please stop.

I think I will leave it there, I haven't been drawn in to anything.

And hes done nothing but treat you like shite and gaslight you for the past month and longer.

Arrogant entitled shithead tosser.

I know, thanks Darkest not that he would ever see it for what it is - he is truly exhausting to talk to - the mindfuckery that would start now if I were to answer the phone to him would be the worst yet I imagine.

And breathe....

Well bloody done

What a day! X

Well done Name!!

Well if you are skint, not paying SILs rent will free up some money!

I wonder if he will ever stop and think of how nasty he has been. Right now it is all poor me, my wife is so unfair, boo hoo, but he knows how terribly he has behaved over the years.

But your day has come!

He may not know how terribly he's behaved over the years...people like that live in an alternate universe of their own inventing. You'll probably never make him understand . Onwards and upwards!

Well done!

Well done name, I'm so pleased for you

So pleased for you. Keep strong and do call 999 at the first sign of any kick off.

De lurking to say you go girl!

My solicitor just called - she's going to ring me first thing as had been at court all day but wanted to let me know that H had called her office to speak to her!

She doesn't know the tone of the call and he didn't leave his number.

Anyway I just wanted to say thank you everybody so much - waaayyy too many names to mention personally now but I have read all your messages of support and they have kept me lifted

Me and the girls are safe in the house, door locked, pizza for tea - hoping he doesn't show up but if he does I will tell him through the locked door that I will call the police.

What a day!!!!

Well done Name!

Good for you Name

Well done

Enjoy your pizza. Hope all stays quiet x

Wishing you a peaceful night x

Well done Name :)

Well done and stay safe

Am high fiving you name. Stay strong, look after yourself, keep your strength up. Well done missus

Thank you

Well done you. And now keep on keeping on. Don't let any feelings of doubt creep in. You have taken the step that will set you free. Best wishes to you and the children.

Well done!! Have a lovely evening with your DC

Delurking to cheer you on! And offer a few handy tips that were given to me to help you feel more relaxed...

If you haven't already, it's cheap and easy (even for a DIY novice like me) to fit bolts and a safety chain on the doors so when you are home you can feel safe that he can't get in (at least not without warning and a hell of a lot of noise as he'd have to break it down) and aren't on edge listening out for a key in the door with one ear all the time.

The other suggestion that really helped me was to change the ring tone for his number on my phone (or block it so it goes straight to voicemail). That worked for me in two ways - I knew it was him and it also meant I didn't jump out of my skin every time someone else called me in case it was him. I have a friend who downloaded the psycho ring tone for her ex - which made her laugh every time he rang and made her feel slightly better (so I guess that makes a third way it can help). That was one technological step too far for my Luddite capabilities unfortunately, I had to stick with the iPhone siren ringtone. Black humour always works for me as a coping mechanism though... You might prefer the peace of silence. I preferred "knowing" rather than "not knowing" whether he was calling me.

The other thing I did was change his name in the address book to all capital letters so I could see in a glance if a text message or missed call was from him. Having that red flag made it somehow less daunting checking my phone.

KOKO - it's been said before but I'll say it again, you're an inspiration!

Excellent news that he is gone! I wonder when he'll actually get the message that it's really really over ...

You've done this very very well. It shows how well you knew him when it came to the crunch and it was time to re-assert yourself. I like that.