Work Stress? Err don't think so mate!

[thenamehaschanged]

I can't copy and paste a link rather annoyingly - but this is my follow on thread from my original How far can he take the stressed from work excuse?

It burst at the seams with all the fantastic MN support I received and so I have started a new one as I carry on my journey of divorcing my very abusive husband.

Also popping in to say good luck for Tuesday (waves pom poms as well).

And Jesus, the gaslighting - he really, really knows how to rewrite history, doesn't he?

Thanks so much everyone

I'll say it again because I know I go on about it a bit, but without MN's support I'm really not sure I would be this far down the line.

To be on the freedom programme now as suggested here, and I have just been accepted for a course of CBT also suggested here, my first appt is next month

The gaslighting is very, very creepy to watch being played out now that I know what he's up to. Very creepy and very pathetic.

I can't believe I married this twat and gave him a family. I have been brainwashed for years

But..now you can watch it unfold. And him doing this now reminds you that you are doing the right thing. He's obviously feeling like he's got you almost under control so he's back to bastard mode. Keeping everything crossed for Tuesday.

It's difficult because you're still in the thick of it, it's all around you. You might not believe it any more (good!), but since it's in the air you're breathing you can't wholesale laugh & point.

Yet.

Ewwwwwwwwwwww he is so nasty.

Roll on Tuesday

Let's just forget for a moment that a 2:1 is effectively a 'B'...

because if he'd done a Degree in Fuckwittery (hons), he'd have been the Valedictorian.

Hahaha!!

You know he told me only last week that 'you know I'm only joking when I bring up the 2:1' but then last night reminded me of it twice in all seriousness.

Hateful prick - it's not just me he thinks he's better than, it's absolutely everyone. He's got some serious ishoos.

Thankfully I'm going out tonight with his best mates ex!

Thanks ladies

Pom poms!!

What a bloody narcissist he is Pom poms !!!!!!!!

Pom pom city here too! He really is beyond a 24 carat knobber - hells bloody teeth! KOKO we are all behind you!

Pom poems from me, too, for theName and all of you who're dealing with, or have dealt with domestic abuse.

I was scanning the old thread, yesterday, and one line struck me as one of the most chilling things I've ever read: "Aw, was that a flinch?" TheName, I don't think you're the same person who wrote that - I think you've opened your eyes. But I hope you'll give some thought to how a normal, empathic person responds when their spouse shows fear or horror towards them. Talk to your lovely friend, or to your peers at the Freedom programme about it. And any time your resolve wavers, remind yourself that you're living with a man who enjoys, or at the very least accepts, your fear of him. It's one of the most basic human rights: to live without fear. Never doubt your right to divorce this man.

Poms. Not poems.

Be careful what you tell her tonight - don't get caught out at the last hurdle by burbling away, waving glass airily in one hand, fag in the other. Thats the sort of thing I'd do, anyway! This news is dynamite, and it could get around the houses like wildfire.

Loose lips sink ships! Have a great time, but be circumspect.

And I am still reeling over the 2:1 thing. OMG am embarressed for him. I've never heard anyone reference their degree results. Cringe.

one of the most chilling things I've ever read: "Aw, was that a flinch?" ... I hope you'll give some thought to how a normal, empathic person responds when their spouse shows fear or horror towards them. Talk to your lovely friend, or to your peers at the Freedom programme about it.

YYYYY

If his degree was in film studies then logic was probably not too important. So his idea that degree=more logical is flawed anyway. More info would be required before that could be shown to be true. He's a bit of a twat isn't he? No wonder he got a 2:1 (says she rudely, having only got a 2:1 herself ).

You have your own full team if cheerleaders Name, Pom poms a go!

Of not if! Why don't they bloody let you edit here?!

But gives me chance for another Gooooooo Name! (I'd do a jump splits for you, but at my age I'd probably never get back up! )

Hahaha
C see
U You
N Next
T Tuesday

Yes c u next Tuesday H you fucking arsehole!

Thank you everyone Had a good night last night catching up with old friends and was careful with what was said (although there was plenty of airily waving glass ariund in one hand and fag in the other!

But, fell out with H - he was at work yesterday and said he'd be back at 3 to take the kids off me so I could go out (I was meeting my friends at 4) he phoned at 3.05 to say could I bring the kids into town and he'd get them from me at Oxford Circus - so that was fun getting the kids up there - came out of the station into the heaving crowds and he wasn't there, called him 'oh, I'm in Holland Park and am unable to get away from work' I just lost it and told him not to fucking bother, hung up. He then texted 'I'll meet you at marble arch in 10' so I got the kids up there, stood around for a further 15 mins - he finally showed and I just said a quick goodbye to the kids and stormed off - I hate being late - I was an hour late in the end - I'm really not unreasonable but this has always been the story of my life with him, constantly waiting around for him and feeling let down.

Anyway I've been bollocked today for expressing annoyance at him yesterday about it. He has slammed a few things around, reminded me of his importance over me and fired a few 'fucks' at me in ear shot of DD2 who had a go at him for swearing at me :(

Further rubber stamping!

It's normal, absolutely normal to be able to express disappointment, even annoyance at something and not to then be stamped down back into your place for doing so.

I hate him.

What a massive arse. Hes confirming that you have made the right decision Name Absolute wanker

More pompoms from me OP.

Haha thanks Balls

Darkest

You'd think even if he enjoyed treating you like a puppet on a string he'd think twice about dragging his children from pillar to post.

Top arsehole.

Agreed outflew - it's just all part of his impulsive 'lthere's always a way to fix a problem' bollocks.

He's having a massive, spring cleaning, pull out every drawer and empty all cupboards session downstairs. And has just found my wedding rings on the shelf - I haven't had them on for a few weeks now and have loved it.

He thought I'd taken them off to go out as an unmarried looking for snogs last night. I really didn't. I took them off weeks ago because I hate him and what they symbolise.

I think the way is naturally being paved now to Tuesday, by his behaviour and my nonchalant reaction to not wearing my rings - it's ok he's whistling downstairs now