Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

[SoleSource]

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

[careeristbitchnigel]

I've been married to the last man i slept with on the first date for 7 years this year.

Do what you like OP, it might lead somewhere and if not, hey, at least you got some ;D

[ReallyFuckingFedUp]

(I guess I should have qualified 'didn't have sex before marriage' with unless they wanted a shot gun at their nuptials )

Thinking about it, women who get married young and only have one partner are surely going to have the most sex compared to women who are single for years and have to go out and seek a new partner for each encounter?


So really my fanny should be absolute tatters by now?

[LoisPuddingLane]

This is a good point, Really. I've never been married and have gone years between sex/relationships sometimes. Currently just over a year since my last encounter. I rarely get the opportunity for sex which is why I tend to run at it like opening day of the Harrods' sale.

[ReallyFuckingFedUp]

opening day of the Harrods' sale

[neiljames77]

Just wondering, I may be way off the mark here but if a woman has only ever had one sexual partner, would she not be wondering what it feels like off someone else? Especially if he made an effort and put in a good performance initially, then tailed off and got lazy as time went on.

[ReallyFuckingFedUp]

I haven't actually had one partner, but only been in one relationship since I was quite young. I can actually see the appeal of two people figuring it out together, and if you don't know what you are missing you can't miss it right?

Also someone who has been with quite a few partners would have the opposite of maybe finding the man with the mythical cock of gold and then if that doesn't work out always comparing everyone else to golden cock

[PollyIndia]

I have slept with all my boyfriends more or less the night I met them o ther than my uni boyfriend who i propositioned for sex having already known him a month or so. Took a few more months (as I didn't want a relationship - he did) but then we went out for 4 years.

It is SUCH nonsense to generalise as some posters have - that men won't want a relationship with a woman who gives it away too easily.
Obviously I am boom ting in bed, but still (that's a joke).

I slept with my current DP the night I met him - we were at a wedding, sitting together during the meal, hung out all night then he just came home with me. It felt totally natural and we definitely had a connection - however for various reasons, I am not sure I would have been that bothered to go on a date with him had things not progressed that night. But because we did go home together, we had a great time, chatted loads and so there was no question I wouldn't see him again when he asked.

Actually, where I have dated people and not slept with them quickly, the sex thing has been a bit of an elephant in the room and I have tended to go off them before we have ended up in bed.

However if I was OLD, I probably wouldn't sleep with someone the first date because the spontaneity for me isn't there as it is when you meet someone IRL and have a connection and a brilliant random night out together. You have already communicated over email with online which seems to change things a bit, and I think there are a higher percentage of men online who do want to just have sex with lots of with lots of women. I appreciate that is probably illogical!

[pilates]

Polly, I think you have hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph for me. It was spontaneous attraction for both of you and that seems right. It just seems a bit clinical to be discussing on MN.

[pilates]

Meant to add on the end "whether you should or shouldn't".

[ReallyFuckingFedUp]

Pilates, the OP said she would only do it if it felt right, but that she wanted to know how it would be perceived if she did decide to have sex the first date.

[SoleSource]

I was browsing Youtube and watched a video response about Elliot Rodger

This video was also uploaded of her

Naked Woman alert, she talks about sex


DO NOT WATCH IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY NAKED BODIES.

i WAS SHOCKED TBH.

[SoleSource]

There it is on full view, sorry!

[GarlicJuneBlooms]

I'm not sure whether that's the oddest YT video I've seen. It's close.

When's the big date, Sole? Are you still going for it?

[SoleSource]

Yeah, I'm going for it :) He wants to come here to Birmingham but I prefer to go to the coast. So I am waiting for DS to get some respite dates.

The other two guys I talk to - One is working overseas and is ten years younger than I and that is defo just going to be sex but the other guy I talk to the most lives in N. Ireland and he is in contact with me a lot but the distance puts me off

I shall keep looking

[Scarletohello]

Jeez what a weird video!

[SoleSource]

I'm not OD, just come across guy as I go..

[SoleSource]

I use a chatroom and I talk to guys I find interesting. I haven't had sex since 2008, I used the room since 2011. I haven't even met a guy for a date for years. Just looking for a bit of male company, I'll take my time.

[ReallyFuckingFedUp]

Oh My God she was annoying. What the hell was that about anyway?

[ReallyFuckingFedUp]

Have you thought about just signing up for Tinder or something and actually just looking for sex with someone local? It might be a bit disappointing if you go all the way over there and don't even fancy the guy

[GarlicJuneBlooms]

As long as you look after your safety - good for you, getting out there

[SoleSource]

No idea Really, no to OD, just guys I find in the chatroom I use. He isn't usually my type, in the looks dept. but I like him, but not that much as we haven't met. I think if anything it'll be a confidence boost for me. Hopefully will be relaxed and fun.

[ReallyFuckingFedUp]

It sounds good anyway sole, just hate for you to get your hopes up!

[SoleSource]

Nah, no hopes, just want a bit of sex.