Sex on a first date? OK or not OK?

[SoleSource]

Yes, I'll follow my gut instinct if I meet this man I have been chatting to online for the last six months, but I feel that I might sleep with him, as I have been celibate for so long.

Is it outdated to feel that I shouldn't sleep with him as it isn't the tradiitional way to behave?

No idea really if we will want to sleep with each other after we meet in reality.

Just want you views on this please.

Im laughing so much here... Are you for real Wicked!

I wasn't talking about flings. Blimey is the wine out?

the OP asked if it was ok to have a one night stand, I personally said no and the reasons why I said no. Old values are sometimes good values and in this instance the bloke seems like he doesn't give a shite and the OP would have been hurt.

Screaming mad supposed feminists are not my bag.

Umm... You were talking about first date sex? Short affairs? Hence the slang "fling".

Your responses seem a bit scattergun tonight, less coherant before.
I assure you I am totally sober.

Tinks: if you are actually working as some sort of sex education professional, you should be sacked. You are giving young people misinformation that is not only dangerous but bordering on hate speech.

are you talking to me squizita? I was saying to the OP that no, I don't think its a good idea to have sex on the first date. Not sure why you keep having to say youre Catholic though?

Ok then, best sack me.

Tinks you're becoming quite unpleasant now. You're also clinging with blind aggression to a very odd, nasty set of views.
I do agree that some men - namely twats - might take the view of women shagging on the first date that you are espousing, but my god you seem hell-bent on backing them up.
I think you should address your own extremely obvious hangups about your sexuality as a woman before you council vulnerable young people.

That should read, women shagging on the first date are worthless.

You're right in one statement Tinks. Human nature doesn't change. Women do like sex. In fact, the only people who believe they shouldn't are the ones who advocate female circumcision and believe their role in society is to be a baby maker.(sorry if that sounds like brown nosing, again, it's just a fact)
I've now come to the conclusion that women who do have reservations about sex on a first date aren't so much worried about what men think about them but more about being judged by other women with outdated, prehistoric and dangerous attitudes.

Because you seem to assume anyone who shares your life choice about sex must do it for your "human nature" based reasons.
I am making it extremely clear that many people do NOT agree with you, in spite of having traditional religious values and reasons for not having immediate sex etc.
You use quasi-moral phrases and stuff about human nature that I fear could make people assume others, like me, share your judgemental ideas.

It was also to offset your default come-back which seems to be "radical feminist" type shouting down (I'm feminist but not radical) or suggesting the person disagrees because they are upset as that's their lifestyle. Or suggest they're drunk.

No. Your opinions are judgemental and harmful to young people. You can't get away with thinking "she would say that, slut" because I have explained my lifestyle: that is why.

ok I THAT IS HOW IT SEEMS TO YOU, THEN YOU'RE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION,HE OFFERED TO DRIVE TO ME BUT I NEED A BREAK AND HE LIVES BY THE SEA.

READ THE THREAD

If it was up to some of you Id be telling them sod it, go have an orgi, its the 60's again. I have to get off this thread due to knowing what some of you are like and not being bothered to argue... life's too short.

I hope it works out for you OP I really do.....

saves tissues just incase

It is a nice day out, meal, conversation with a man i might fancy shagging, not me hoping to get married. I need something nice to look forward to. He can't break my heart.

Tinks I manage a team that works with young people of all backgrounds. As I've mentioned before, your opinions and what you've admitted saying to kids IS in breach of many child protection and safeguarding guidelines.

You joke "sack me" but were you outed, your boss might end up having to have a difficult conversation.

Oh and if you think there's nothing between orgies and girls-are-emotional-boys-are-randy-so-true-love-waits ... You are undertrained or possibly just lack the insight for the job.

Honestly. You wonder why I mentioned my beliefs? You seem to lack all awareness of the complexity of human nature.

Here we go, another load of crap. Child protection? really because I tell the girls to value themselves and the boys to keep it in their pants... ok then

If you told my daughter that crap I'd report you.

telling a girl her value is in her vagina is sexist and you should not be in your job. Yes, we keep telling you that.

If you tell a girl her value is in her vagina what happens if she gets raped?

If she waits for a nice boy who turns out to be a not very nice boy at all? Should she stay with him as she has now lost her value?

If these ideas about sex were natural, you wouldn't have to keep perpetuating them you stupid woman.

Really? Im not particularly shocked to be honest you probably would. Go right ahead, my unit has the least teen pregnancies.

You can call me what you wish, water off a ducks back.

There are a million things that are truly priceless about my daughter. The scarcity of other human beings with whom she chooses to have fun with in whatever way she damn well chooses will never be one of them. Women have value as human beings, not prizes to be won. There is nothing wrong at all with preferring to get to know people to whatever degree suits you before being intimate with them, but the idea that your worth is related to the denial of your sexuality, particularly if you are female, is a very nasty one indeed. I would be seriously pissed off if someone with a duty of care to my daughter tried to give her that idea.

Can't get over some of the comments here!

Tinks I appreciate your looking out for Sole, I like that about you. But you can't expect to come on to a post and offend and demean people and be treated warmly after that.

And neil is hardly brown nosing... for agreeing with what is actually the general consensus.