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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So the knob has been cheating on me !

179 replies

Sonumb · 10/04/2014 14:04

I posted this in chat Tuesday when it happened and was told about this Topic so thought I'd vent/ maybe get some advice if that's ok , bare with me it may be long Blush

I have been with my Partner for 3 years this month , we weren't living together but were sorting all the logistics out to do so iyswim
Anyway I'm 8 weeks pregnant as we were starting a family hence the moving in together .

I sussed something was 'off' Tuesday as he had said a family member had been taken ill & having not heard from him I checked his sisters Facebook to see if everything was ok at which point I noticed on a status it looked like she were talking to herself Hmm the penny kinda dropped then so I went on a different Facebook and their he was on an account he said he didn't have with his arm round some woman all happy and smiley gazing at each other Envy , I still couldn't get hold of him and had sent various texts etc & when I heard from him he didnt even bother to deny it just said he didn't know why Confused wouldn't answer any questions and really hasn't said much since then .

I found out today that she and her son have been staying at his since Friday playing happy families - pictures at the beach and lots of status' about having had a great time and finally found that special somebody and she is the best girlfriend ever Angry

After some digging nosing about on facebook I found out they met on new years day this year yet he told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he was spending time with his Grandad as he was dying & completely ignored my birthday & valentines not that I'm bothered but its the thought iyswim anyway I've gone from been upset and now I'm rather erm volatile/angry
he is coming round tonight to see me so we can talk as he 'loves me' when quite frankly I don't think he would have even answered the phone to me if I weren't carrying his baby Angry

I dunno what to do or what to feel or what to say

OP posts:
Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 14:08

Oh and when he has supposedly been away with his mum for the weekend (family caravan Hmm Grin ) he has been seeing her instead so that includes at the beginning of the year on 11th Jan when I had a miscarriage n I couldn't get hold of him he was with her , he said she lives in a different town though he may of said this because I'm likely to punch her if I do see her , I messaged her asking if she new about me and she did which just makes it worse tbh - sorry for rambling Sad

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 10/04/2014 14:08

Oh god, that is awful :( Does she know about you? What sort of woman would want a man that was cheating on his pregnant partner? They deserve each other.
I don't think I would want to hear what lies he has to tell you...because they will be.
I'm so sorry you are going through this OP Thanks

BuzzardBird · 10/04/2014 14:10

Sorry, cross-posted. In that case, they definitely deserve each other. She has won a lovely prize in him hasn't she? Hmm

BuzzardBird · 10/04/2014 14:11

Don't forget though OP, he is at fault, not her. She just has no values, he was the one in a relationship with you.

PlumProf · 10/04/2014 14:12

I am so sorry. You need to have a big think about the future you see for yourself. At 8 weeks pg, some of this thinking might have to be time critical if you want to have all options open Sad You need to honestly evaluate where you are financially, workwise and homewise and how the next few years might work out on all those fronts. I wish you strength Thanks

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 14:12

Yup though I'll make sure he goes back to her a bit broken Grin like he has left me

OP posts:
Jan45 · 10/04/2014 14:12

Sorry OP, that's dreadful, I do hope you have rl support and good friends. They both sound absolutely vile, yes, he will feed you all sorts of crap I'm sure, just remember what he has done, the facts are there.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 14:13

I don't work (very bad mh) and I have no family or friends so tbh I'm screwedSad

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 10/04/2014 14:15

You have MN. The advice and support you get on here will surprise you.

BitsinTatters · 10/04/2014 14:18

Wow

Does he know your pregnant?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/04/2014 14:22

I hope you tell your partner to step out of the relationship and give yourself time to think. I'm sorry you've had such a nasty shock and that he's turned out to be such a shit. However, I don't think it helps to play detective now and dig up all the information so that you can torture yourself with it. That'll just make you feel worse. Neither is it a good idea to get in touch with his girlfriend because your argument is not with her, it's with him.

Look after yourself, get medical support if you have MH issues and get through each day best you can. Focus on your growing baby and be kind to yourself. He doesn't matter any more until the point comes where he has to pay child support. It does get better in time.

LavenderGreen14 · 10/04/2014 14:27

blimey - he is scum

please don't let him talk at you - why do you need to see him at all. He surely cannot 'talk' his way out of this one.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 15:24

I just need to see what he has to say I know it will be just more lies but at least with some digging I have some proof to prove he is lying iyswim

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/04/2014 15:30

You don't need proof.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 15:50

I feel like I do to catch him out on anymore lies Sad

Else he will try n convince me I'm crazy

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/04/2014 15:57

You know you're not crazy so why do you have to prove it? And to whom? All the things you've described are more than enough reason to kick him out of the door. No need to labour the point. He can't convince you of anything once his bags are packed and he's out of your life...

Jan45 · 10/04/2014 15:59

Crazy, for what reason? He's been cheating on you with another woman, and has a FB account with pics of him and her, is that right, he's actually showing himself with her to anyone on FB?

Lweji · 10/04/2014 16:00

I don't think it will be very healthy for you to talk to him, TBH.
Why don't you just pack up his stuff and leave it by the door?

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 16:03

His whole family know by the looks of it Sad

OP posts:
Dirtybadger · 10/04/2014 16:23

You have already got proof. You know what you've seen. So what if he doesn't believe it's "enough"? Tough. He doesn't get to decide what you believe or do. You are in control of ending your relationships, no one else. End it. You don't even need a reason. It isn't working. Whether he thinks you're mad or not. Or tries to convince you that you are (gaslighting, by the way, psychological abuse).

Good luck. Consider your options re baby and do whatever you think is best for you. You don't deserve this. Thanks

passmethewineplease · 10/04/2014 16:27

What a bastard, I wouldn't even give him a chance tbh a drunken ONS is one thing this is like he led a double life.

Sorry you've had such a horrible shock.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 16:29

Thanks Smile.

OP posts:
Legologgo · 10/04/2014 16:29

why did you not use contraception?!

Lweji · 10/04/2014 16:32

RTFOP?

Greenkit · 10/04/2014 16:34

Lego she was with him for 3 yrs perhaps they were trying?

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