So the knob has been cheating on me !

[Sonumb]

I posted this in chat Tuesday when it happened and was told about this Topic so thought I'd vent/ maybe get some advice if that's ok , bare with me it may be long

I have been with my Partner for 3 years this month , we weren't living together but were sorting all the logistics out to do so iyswim
Anyway I'm 8 weeks pregnant as we were starting a family hence the moving in together .

I sussed something was 'off' Tuesday as he had said a family member had been taken ill & having not heard from him I checked his sisters Facebook to see if everything was ok at which point I noticed on a status it looked like she were talking to herself the penny kinda dropped then so I went on a different Facebook and their he was on an account he said he didn't have with his arm round some woman all happy and smiley gazing at each other , I still couldn't get hold of him and had sent various texts etc & when I heard from him he didnt even bother to deny it just said he didn't know why wouldn't answer any questions and really hasn't said much since then .

I found out today that she and her son have been staying at his since Friday playing happy families - pictures at the beach and lots of status' about having had a great time and finally found that special somebody and she is the best girlfriend ever

After some digging nosing about on facebook I found out they met on new years day this year yet he told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he was spending time with his Grandad as he was dying & completely ignored my birthday & valentines not that I'm bothered but its the thought iyswim anyway I've gone from been upset and now I'm rather erm volatile/angry
he is coming round tonight to see me so we can talk as he 'loves me' when quite frankly I don't think he would have even answered the phone to me if I weren't carrying his baby

I dunno what to do or what to feel or what to say

I went to get my stuff from his yesterday & she kept ringing and ringing despite him telling her he was busy n then turned his mobile off so she started persistently ringing the house phone so I answered it and gave her what for

She told him after that if he didn't tell me to apologise to her because she was upset then she would have to finish with him He told her good luck at getting an apology out of her (meaning me)

I'm not getting back with him that's for certain as I don't need to be with somebody I can't trust iyswim I just need to get uses to it

Well done sonumb, god, she sounds desperate! Unlike you.

Yeah she certainly comes across as Desperate as well

So, she's prepared to finish with him for you not apologising, but not for him getting you pregnant while "with her"?
Interesting.
I wonder what lies he has fed her.

TBH, I don't think she will finish with him.

Not "desperate as well" sonumb. You are much better.

So the pregnancy wasn't planned then?

Tinks yes it was planned as we were due to move in together & had been together for almost 3 years

I'm not particularly bothered if she is with him or not they are welcome to each other

Good for you Op.

I actually think you are all rather emotionally immature. Maybe it's time to concentrate on the baby you're carrying?

bk

Together and happy? together looking forward to the next step? No too-ing a fro-ing, no break ups in between?

nope no break ups I thought we were solid .

I'm certainly not emotionally immature , If I weren't dealing with this the way I am I don't think I would be functioning at all .

Hope you understand that Im just trying to get the gyst of this OP.

So, he was with you regularly? but managed to lead a double life? and you suspected nothing?

Not sure why so many questions of the OP.

Lots of women are cheated on while leaving with their husbands. They find excuses for work, family, hobbies, whatever.
It's fairly easy and easier if not living together.

Sorry, living with their husbands, not leaving, although that would be a desirable consequence of cheating. :)

I don't automatically default lweji.

But whether the pregnancy was planned or not is not even that relevant.

He cheated. It seems clear, regardless of how the relationship was or the pregnancy was planned or not.
And he was still trying to stay with the OP.
I think her posts give quite enough info to consider him a knob.

Whether the pregnancy was planned is relevant these days, knowing whilst it shouldn't be the sole responsibility of the girl, I personally always made sure "I" was protected.

We don't know what goes on between two people ever! and mostly its rather grey not black and white. We only get one side of things. I find asking questions a very normal thing to do.

Erm ....

Erm ....

So what's your point TINKS42.

OP has given her side of what happened. How she thought their life was, moving in, having a baby. What was she (and many others) supposed to do. No one goes into a relationship waiting to see if OH will stray.

FWIW Sonumb I think you are doing whats best for you and your dc.

Thanks Clutter

So both live separately but were planning to move in together? That means in terms of things like jointly owned property etc there is nothing complex like that (just the awful emotional issues)? You don't work because of mental health issues so presumably the state pays you housing benefit and some other benefits? Once the baby is born you should be entitled to some financial support from the father (if he has any money that is).

He certainly doesn't sound worth fighting for.