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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So the knob has been cheating on me !

179 replies

Sonumb · 10/04/2014 14:04

I posted this in chat Tuesday when it happened and was told about this Topic so thought I'd vent/ maybe get some advice if that's ok , bare with me it may be long Blush

I have been with my Partner for 3 years this month , we weren't living together but were sorting all the logistics out to do so iyswim
Anyway I'm 8 weeks pregnant as we were starting a family hence the moving in together .

I sussed something was 'off' Tuesday as he had said a family member had been taken ill & having not heard from him I checked his sisters Facebook to see if everything was ok at which point I noticed on a status it looked like she were talking to herself Hmm the penny kinda dropped then so I went on a different Facebook and their he was on an account he said he didn't have with his arm round some woman all happy and smiley gazing at each other Envy , I still couldn't get hold of him and had sent various texts etc & when I heard from him he didnt even bother to deny it just said he didn't know why Confused wouldn't answer any questions and really hasn't said much since then .

I found out today that she and her son have been staying at his since Friday playing happy families - pictures at the beach and lots of status' about having had a great time and finally found that special somebody and she is the best girlfriend ever Angry

After some digging nosing about on facebook I found out they met on new years day this year yet he told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he was spending time with his Grandad as he was dying & completely ignored my birthday & valentines not that I'm bothered but its the thought iyswim anyway I've gone from been upset and now I'm rather erm volatile/angry
he is coming round tonight to see me so we can talk as he 'loves me' when quite frankly I don't think he would have even answered the phone to me if I weren't carrying his baby Angry

I dunno what to do or what to feel or what to say

OP posts:
Scarbella2 · 10/04/2014 16:34

God, what a scumbag. Look after yourself, mentally and physically. Don't listen to lies from him. He is not worth the time. Find strength from somewhere and you will make it through this. We women are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
Hope you are ok.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 10/04/2014 16:38

Because they were starting a family Lego??? Hmm

Legologgo · 10/04/2014 16:38

not living together?

NuggetofPurestGreen · 10/04/2014 16:42

Yes, that's what it says in the OP's first post. Did you read it?

Anyway I'm 8 weeks pregnant as we were starting a family hence the moving in together

Clutterbugsmum · 10/04/2014 16:48

You don't have to talk to him. You could just pack all his things together in black sacks and leave them out side you front door.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 17:00

have you a problem with how I do things Lego Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 17:01

His crap is already packed up I was tempted to cut random arms & legs off his clothes but I'm too tired Grin

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 10/04/2014 17:42

You may not think you are OP but I think you are going to be incredibly strong. Well done you for getting his crap together already. Don't let him whitewash you or take the piss. The OW has no idea what she has landed herself with. You are the better person here, and that matters.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 18:15

Thanks Buzzard it means alot.

He works in the next town over as he works & he was waiting for his tenancy to end so he could move in

OP posts:
ohldoneedtogetagrip · 10/04/2014 19:06

when is he supposed to be coming over?

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 19:07

was due an hour ago Hmm

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 10/04/2014 19:13

Text him and facebook him (both accounts) that his stuff will be outside yours from XXpm and for him to bring any of your belongings back when he collects his stuff.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 19:16

I don't have him on fb Hmm

I've told him he has ten minutes then I'm going for a walk Smile

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 10/04/2014 21:01

Hope he been and gone with his junk belongings.

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 22:17

Yeah he has just gone Angry

If he didn't think I were crazy before he certainly does now Sad

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 10/04/2014 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tightfortime · 10/04/2014 22:23

Janey, what happened and are you ok?

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 22:30

He couldn't really get a word in Blush

When I'm Nervous/agitated the only way I can describe it is I act as though I'm high as a kite talking ten to the dozen n can't sit still so I was rambling on a lot Blush

I told him I can't forgive him and I need some space and if I want to talk to him I'll contact him n then I chucked him out

OP posts:
soaccidentprone · 10/04/2014 22:38

Oh sweetie. What a load of crap you're having to deal with atm. Look after yourself, and do what's best for you. Hope you have a hand or two to hold in real life. Brew (Or a small Wine if you need it)

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 22:40

right now I wish I bloody did drink as I might actually fall asleep Sad else I'm gonna end up scrubbing the skirtings boards with a toothbrush I feel that wired Hmm Grin

OP posts:
tightfortime · 10/04/2014 22:49

Oh I'm the same, high as a kite in an emotionally fraught situation so you are not alone! Space is definitely the way to go here. And if you need to scrub skirting boards, do whatever you need to...

Original poster
Sonumb · 10/04/2014 22:52
OP posts:
Original poster
Sonumb · 11/04/2014 00:44

Right I've calmed down a bit now & realised what he said , I know nobody is their listening to me or whatever but those that are , are very much appreciated.

Right to the point .

He said it started towards the end of January he met her through a friend of a friend who new her ex husband Confused stay with me as it gets weirder Hmm

When I have thought he was home or working he has been at hers & sometimes though not many his mums caravan .
she lives a few towns away so her ex husband would drive all the way over & pick him up & take him back to hers as they new each other vaguely Confused

Now to me that's just weird her ex driving 40 miles to pick up her 'boyfriend' or is that just me?
I asked why he did it & all I got was Dunno but I didn't mean to to which I responded 'did you just slip' Angry

he tried the whole 'I love you' & 'I didn't mean to' but tbh I've never been one to fall for all that mush .
I asked if he would be even bothering to talk to me if I weren't pregnant & he said yes though rather unconvincingly .
When I asked whether he wanted me or her he paused to think which kinda answered all my questions Sad Sad

Sorry if that's complete gobbildy gook my spelling/punctuation is atrocious

OP posts:
AnotherSpinningFuckingRainbow · 11/04/2014 00:58

Wow. Phew. That's a whole load to absorb for you, isn't it?

Obviously you know now what he is like, you know exactly what he is.

Give yourself a bit of time to absorb all this. Be kind to yourself. Tell a friend, cry all you need to and be as angry as you need to. You've had the rug well and truly pulled from under you.
I hope you can manage a little sleep tonight, although I'm sure the adrenalin is racing at the moment.

Original poster
Sonumb · 11/04/2014 01:00

The adrenalin is subsiding thankfully so just about to nod off Smile

Night Smile

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