So the knob has been cheating on me !

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I posted this in chat Tuesday when it happened and was told about this Topic so thought I'd vent/ maybe get some advice if that's ok , bare with me it may be long

I have been with my Partner for 3 years this month , we weren't living together but were sorting all the logistics out to do so iyswim
Anyway I'm 8 weeks pregnant as we were starting a family hence the moving in together .

I sussed something was 'off' Tuesday as he had said a family member had been taken ill & having not heard from him I checked his sisters Facebook to see if everything was ok at which point I noticed on a status it looked like she were talking to herself the penny kinda dropped then so I went on a different Facebook and their he was on an account he said he didn't have with his arm round some woman all happy and smiley gazing at each other , I still couldn't get hold of him and had sent various texts etc & when I heard from him he didnt even bother to deny it just said he didn't know why wouldn't answer any questions and really hasn't said much since then .

I found out today that she and her son have been staying at his since Friday playing happy families - pictures at the beach and lots of status' about having had a great time and finally found that special somebody and she is the best girlfriend ever

After some digging nosing about on facebook I found out they met on new years day this year yet he told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he was spending time with his Grandad as he was dying & completely ignored my birthday & valentines not that I'm bothered but its the thought iyswim anyway I've gone from been upset and now I'm rather erm volatile/angry
he is coming round tonight to see me so we can talk as he 'loves me' when quite frankly I don't think he would have even answered the phone to me if I weren't carrying his baby

I dunno what to do or what to feel or what to say

I have just started studying at the open university to enable me some qualifications so I can work eventually.
My Ex works part time at the moment .

Tinks, are you actually 'away with the fairies'? The Op is sounding a lot more reasonable and balanced on here than most people manage in her position. I wish everyone had her strength. Hopefully money won't be an issue for you Op? Good luck with your course. In fact you have inspired me to start one. :)

Thanks Buzzard

So neither of you is able to support a child financially as you don't work and the father works only part time and you have mental health issues. It all sounds not quite the best of times to bring a baby into things and support it.

I have BiPolar it doesn't mean I'm not allowed a child !
Ex Dp works part time in winter & full time from may-november

Yes, I am waiting for all the comments but really? People have gotten so used to peoples lives being like this they don't bat an eyelid anymore...and even depend people's rights to live like this. The whole world is upside down!

Have you even rtft? Op is aquiring qualifications to get a job, her xp works! She has an illness, she is not a paedophile! She didn't know he was going to fock off, none of us know ffs!

Reality It seems to me that you are 'fishing' for an argument, I certainly won't explain myself to you & please do go elsewhere if you want to argue .

Don't reply to these this people person.

You don't have to justify yourself why you chose to have this baby.
Even people who choose the best times to have babies have the rug pulled from under them and unexpected pregnancies may end up in long stable marriages.

I'd let them talk among themselves to itself and if you want further support, start a thread in the other place.

Thanks Lweji

I'm sorry I kicked off, I know I shouldn't feed them

Its ok Buzzard I almost did

I think I'll have to hide this thread now .

It's certainly a difficult situation. He will probably have to pay about 15% of his net income for the child and may be you can get a job working around your studies too so will not need state benefits.

Fwiw op, I was one of the girls who did everything 'right'. Got good exam results, went to uni. Got a good job. With my bf 7 years, then got married. Had 2 kids - he started an affair when I was pg with dd and left us when she was 3 weeks old. We had been together 12 years. Just saying, for all those posters criticising your situation, shit happens! Some men cannot help themselves and we the women end up being left to pick up the pieces. Sometimes a bit of help is needed for situations we've been left with, not that we've chosen.

Sorry op, hope you're doing OK. You sound strong. X

And what if you get state benefits?
They are there to support people.

Anyone who has used the NHS has taken advantage of state benefits. :)

I got WFTC even on a decent salary and ex had incapacity benefit. It's not shameful to have state benefits.

And the mothers on state benefits most likely are producing children whose work will support retired people (us).

You don't need him!! He sounds like a horrible horrible man

Thanks

Oh & as for me being on state benefits I come from a very hard working family , My grandad worked as a builder until the day he died & he was 75 .
Its not my fault I'm Bi-Polar

Can I just say WTF are people on about? Apparently you both need to be working and have financial stability, a house, a car and all the mod cons that a baby wants(?)
Seriously, if you have a roof over your head and lots of love then that's enough. People have their own criteria for children however it's not your place to judge others. When I had my first ds I was on my own, in a hugh rise flat with some 15th hand furniture. I had to save for 6 months for a washing machine.
Now you would never know I started out with hardly anything. Nothing makes you more determined than having a baby.
I take it that people in less developed countries shouldn't have children either.
Having a house and a job doesn't mean you will have a great upbringing.
Look in relationships at the amount of people cheating and being abusive.

Stay strong OP x

Ha ha Op, you bit too unfortunately Mn has been infiltrated with twats again. They are all over the threads (and starting them). It will be ok once they are back at school.

Thanks Clara

I deleted my first reply as it was rather

I decided to not be so 'explosive' for lack of a better word