Found out dp is on the sex offenders register

[mrscoleridge]

Please be kind as this has only come out today and I think I'm in shock.
Have posted before about dp that I have been with for a few months. Am smitten with him and we have been very happy.
However my friend googled him and found that he was convicted of having a relationship with a pupil and was dismissed as a teacher.
She was 15 and pursued him according to the judgement and it only got as far as some kissing and cuddling.
I can't believe this and as I have two teenage daughters am in turmoil. He doesn't know I know.
He's been great with my family and as this was few years ago must have been out of trouble since.
I've no idea who knows.
Help!!

Do you know it's definitely him? If so be open with him and ask him..

Do you have children? How old are they?

Yes it's defo him seen photos

Yes two older teenager girls. He didn't know that when we met and has had other relationships with single mothers with no issues

Why did your friend google him? Did she have suspicisions?

He told me about being a teacher but obv would have been difficult to tell me what happened

Sorry -just read that you have teenage daughters.

I could not continue in a relationship with someone who had abused a child. Whether or not it was just kissing and cuddling, he was in a position of power and trust, and he chose to abuse that.

If its true then I would ask him outright . Especially as you ahve teen age daughters I would get this out in the open and quick.

How do you know his previous relationships had no issues?

How old is dp, what age was he at the time it happened?
Sorry you are going thro this

well, at best he has exercised very poor judgement with his previous relationship and at worst he has singled you out because of your two dds

How awful for you.
Assuming it is him - unusual name? - then your decision is simple though.
Please ignore anything about the child pursuing him. That's why the law exists as it does - to protect children from themselves and adults. Because adults have to know better, especially those in a trusted position. Children can pursue all they like, they should get nowhere.

I'm sorry, that must be such a huge shock :(

I'm just so torn as he's been punished and feel that someone should be allowed to make a mistake.
Friend was googling to find him as he has a business

He's 44 it was four years ago

Alarm bells would ring for me immediately, I'm afraid. You have two teenage daughters and you're smitten with a man who abused his position of trust with a teenage girl? I wouldn't have it out with him so much as throw him out. Too big a thing to hide, given all the circumstances.

How long is he on the register for? If he is being monitored, he has to register with the local police. The police will do unannounced home visits and they will ask him questions about you and your children. Social Services will be advised if the police think your children are at risk.

Catsmamma I don't think it's right to call a teacher kissing a teenage child a "previous relationship".

A 'mistake' that leads you to be on the sex offenders' register? The register exists for a reason.

He has had 'other' relationships with single mothers ... has he had any relationships with non-mothers?

I think five years so not much longer

Yes last gf had no children

Remember, some sex offenders target single mothers to gain access to their next victims.

It's not a mistake. He decided to get physical with an underage pupil.

We all know what 15 year old girls are like. Boy, there were a couple of hot teachers at school that we all used to try to flirt with and we'd have LOVED to have got some 'special attention' from them. Being professional teachers, they completely ignored it and were careful not to get into the wrong sort of situation with any of us that could be misconstrued.

He failed as a teacher with responsibility for the welfare of teenage girls. He failed as an adult man - girls do flirt, normal men ignore it.

I know that's why I'm being cautious
No strange behaviour with kids at all

Just 4 years ago? That would ring major alarm bells for me. And she was a minor? Either he had no clue about her she or he gave in. Come on. My mid 30s dh won't even look at a 18yo let alone 15.

Yes, he has served his time etc but unless you know the full story, please be cautious.